Arrogance,Superiority Complex or plain stupidity?

[AngelsBreath]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

According to Psychology superiority complex and inferiority complex are part of the same pathology and sometimes go hand in hand. Superiority being a superficial disguise for inadequate queslities. You have to ask yourself if another person's criticism reinforces your own negative self perception. And then, do you fight back only to stop feeling inferior?

you made a great point,this is what is happening to me,it is more of a rebellious/retaliation behavior. i tried to apply some of the advices given to me,it is working, im being more humble at work and i can see myself improving.though i still feel depressed and negative when someone tries to correct me violently.

[Mishanya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngelsBreath

you made a great point,this is what is happening to me,it is more of a rebellious/retaliation behavior. i tried to apply some of the advices given to me,it is working, im being more humble at work and i can see myself improving.though i still feel depressed and negative when someone tries to correct me violently.

I've been reading a couple of interesting articles on conflict resolution when I was doing proffesional practice in IT course at uni. For the people who attack you personally, there is some room for navigation. Some ideas which may come useful:


- Understand and promote acceptance of the fact that reasonable people may differ in their opinions.

- Address the emotional aspect separately from the other aspects of the problem. Especially in emotional situations, avoid giving advice. Even if the advice is otherwise sound, giving advice will typically only draw you into the conflict when your goal should be to guide the parties involved to discover their own solutions.

- Try to define the issue in terms of a shared need rather than opposing points of view. Don’t let the issue become choosing between “your way or my way.”

- Focus on defeating the problem, not the people. Promote the idea that it is possible to settle a conflict without one side losing.

- Have the participants think through the elements of what would be an ideal sound relationship.

- Make sure that everyone is involved throughout the process, to make it more difficult for any one person to distance themselves from the solution afterwards.

[Maus]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngelsBreath

hi i have been wondering about my attidude,and sometimes disturbed by it.since i graduated college,i have been hearing a lot about this attitude that i am not sure of.

i have a big problem with authority and criticism,at work,i take hard criticisms as personal attack,i know this is unprofessional but i just cant help it,

whenever someone bitch at me at home,i bitch back,i cant control my temper,i always automatically think of ways to get around a remark,i never let people win an arguement even if it progresses into a fight.i hate this feeling,this attitude has just developed when i finished school,i was a cool kid who doesnt take everything seriously,but now everything seems to be serious to me.i know and i think it is stupid to dismiss constructive criticisms,but i really get angry and most of the time i take it personal.i get hurt easily.

The best you can do when something like that happens is to take a minute and think. Put the 'conversation' on hold, tell the other person to give you a minute to think.

When someone gives you constructive criticism, you take it as a personal attack. Why? They're obviously trying to help you out, so why take it as an attack? When it so obviously isn't. Are you insecure, does the possibility you're possibly wrong or someone else thinks you're wrong poke at your self-esteem like a hot iron? It shouldn't! If you feel you're right stand up for yourself, but don't lash out.

Whats you're need to maintain the fact you're 'always right' no matter what? In a disagreement be it opinionated or factual, if you let your primal emotion take a part then you've ALREADY LOST. PERIOD. If it's factual, try to prove yourself right through an actual source. If it's opinionated, leave an open mind and let your temper die... A good debate is a good debate, you can learn from it if you don't take it personally, and in the end if you continue to disagree, you can only stress that you disagree and leave it at that. Why do you need to force your opinions on other people? That's a terrible habit, terrible, that's what's wrong with people in general in my humble opinion.

If you always keep a level head, open yourself up to criticism and tell your emotion to take a back seat, you'll definately be a happier person, you'll better yourself, you'll learn to communicate more effectively and thus get further in life! THINK ABOUT IT!


I suggest you take some of your alone time, sit down, and really think about why you do this. Try to understand yourself, to comprehend yourself. If you are in true control of yourself, I can almost guerantee you'll be happier about yourself...

My tip:

Think, comprehend, understand, open your mind. Take control of yourself.

[confused01]

one thing to keep in mind, in most of cases at work or at home, when someone criticises you they usually criticise your behavior or a specific act that bothered them and not you as a person.
sometimes you have to pull yourself out of your picture and watch how you behave or act as if u r a total stranger, in order to understand what others meant.

or tell yourself if i was the boss and my employe performed this way would you give them a negative feedbak or just fire them without notices ?? maybe you would use a more calmer way but still you will have to give a feedback either positive or negative.

i don't know but something tells me that you are searching for something and you can't find it, or you still don't know what it is.this makes you bothered and caused some change in ur bahviour. because as you said you are not used to be like this before then there must be a reason for this sudden change.
if i'm correct give urself time out think carefully about ur life and try to find out what have caused this change maybe it would help you get better.

[Only-virgins]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

Criticism is an opportunity for growth.

Or sometimes to cut you down. Some criticism comes from people who wouldn't know about the topic they are criticizing if it hit them on the head yet they think they have the right to criticize. Sometimes work is flawless and others put it down. I am just saying.

[lilcupid]

I guess like anything there is good criticism and bad. It just depends on how the person words what they are saying and their intent behind it