Friend with hepatitis b - Love Forum

sine24 · #1 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 02:03 PM

I have a friend who recently disclosed something quite personal about her. She's 17 going on 18 and we have only started working together a few months back. Since then we have become really good mates. She trusted me enough to tell me this:

"A while ago i had sex with this guy who had hepatitis b. At the time i did not know anything about this..he never decided to tell me. And so as a consequence i now have it too. I didn't know i got it until he started acting strange towards me..and he would ask me if i was okay and that i should go and get myself checked out at the doctors. I went straight to the doctors to get a blood test after that and found out that i had contracted hep b."

i was so sad for her when she told me this. she felt a bit scared after telling me because she thought that i would see and treat her differently after hearing it..but im not that type of person and assured her that it would not affect our friendship.

anyway..she has recently started dating this guy that she really likes and vice versa. she is now contemplating over whether she should tell him or not and how to go about it if she does. she's terrified to lose him as he might not accept it and i can understand that it would be a difficult thing to do. my advice was for her to tell him as soon as she could but not throw it onto him suddenly. i think her boyfriend deserves to know and if he doesn't come to accept her illness then my friend should move onto someone who would love her regardless of her having hep b.

do you guys agree? she is a really good person and im worried i gave her the wrong advice.

IndiReloaded · #2 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 02:15 PM

Poor thing. Yes, you gave good advice. Her BF needs to know. He might even want to consider the vaccine.

Isn't HepB treatable? Vash might know. I know there are acute & chronic conditions. I also know that superinfection w/the hep delta virus makes for a much more serious condition, so she should discuss w/her doc (I'm not an MD but I know about molecular biology of viruses).

Does she know about Medline? Tell her to find out more there:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/

sine24 · #3 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 02:19 PM

thanks for the website indi..i'll make sure i get her to have a look at it and get more info about it so she can manage it better. i just really hope for her sake that her boyfriend isn't one of those idiots who ditch their girlfriend when their health isn't picture perfect.

vashti · #4 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 02:20 PM

Of course she should tell him! She may be infectious. He may have been immunized.

BTW - I don't know when she was diagnosed, but it often clears itself spontaneously. She should speak to her physician. Also, she should definitely avoid alcohol.

EDIT - I don't think you are being fair to a guy who doesn't choose to accept this. Hepatitis can be a very serious disease. People have a right to not want to be exposed.

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 02:20 PM

of course the bf deserves to know. i'm sure that your friend is a good person and you really care for her and what not.. however, put yourself in the guy's shoes for a bit. or imagine how your friend must've felt when she contracted the disease. that's right, it f*cking sucks and i'm sure that the guy doesn't want to find out from a doctor.

secondly, if this guy knowingly gave the girl a disease, i think she can sue him. yes, you can sue anyone these days though.

raverboy

Only-virgins · #6 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

Isn't HepB treatable?

Indi, that depends on if it is Acute Hepatitis B or if it is Chronic Hepatitis B like you said. You can recover from Acute but Chronic currently is still for life and usually leads to many liver complications.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sine24

i just really hope for her sake that her boyfriend isn't one of those idiots who ditch their girlfriend when their health isn't picture perfect.

Picture perfect health lol. You know, dumping someone because they are lactose intolerant ...ok..maybe an idiot....but dumping someone for hep-B? I don't know, there are a few good justifications such as getting it yourself. Most of all though she should tell him before things get out of hand and she actually gives it to him. Anyways, she should tell him quickly...if he still stick with her he can get a vaccine that will immunize him to it. It is actually really easy to prevent as long as you don't have it yet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

EDIT - I don't think you are being fair to a guy who doesn't choose to accept this. Hepatitis can be a very serious disease. People have a right to not want to be exposed.

Exactly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

secondly, if this guy knowingly gave the girl a disease, i think she can sue him. yes, you can sue anyone these days though.

Is it like that in Australia also?

sine24 · #7 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

EDIT - I don't think you are being fair to a guy who doesn't choose to accept this. Hepatitis can be a very serious disease. People have a right to not want to be exposed.

There are vaccines he could get for it nowadays..although not 100% reliable. im just saying that if he really cares about her he would at least be there for her instead of vanishing into thin air as soon as he hears about it. i know she cant expect him to want to be with her when she tells him..but i just hope that he's respectful about it. i know there is always a chance that he could get it too..but that goes for everyone..you could be around dozens of people with hep b and not know it. does that mean that my friend should wear a giant sandwich board that reads: "i have hepatitis b! stay well away from me"?.

vashti · #8 (**permalink**) 28-02-08, 08:51 PM

Maybe she should go looking for boyfriends in a support group for people living with hepatitis. That way, she won't have to worry about not being accepted.

Illusional · #9 (**permalink**) 02-03-08, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Is it like that in Australia also?

i haven't got the slightest clue. i have never been to australia nor do i bother to learn their laws.

raverboy

kalupe · #10 (**permalink**) 08-03-08, 09:37 AM

when you have the hepa B, you can either just be a carrier or the virus is active, meaning it's attacking your liver, which is due to weak immune system. however, if you have a strong immune system, the virus could be inactive and you're just a carrier, but still you should have yourself checked yearly to monitor the state of the virus ...whether it's going active or not.

hepa b can only be transferred through copulation anyways, so anyone with hepa b shouldn't really be treated any different. or through blood.

the boyfriend has the right to know this because it concerns his health too. so before she'd even do anything with him, the guy should at least know. he can go to the docs for vaccination to have him protected, so he wont get it in case of sexual intercourse and such. ^^

she wouldnt want to be the guy who did this to her. better let the bf know.

EDIT:

Quote:

Originally Posted by sine24

you could be around dozens of people with hep b and not know it. does that mean that my friend should wear a giant sandwich board that reads: "i have hepatitis b! stay well away from me"?.

that's true. anyone could even have hepatitis b and not know it. because hepa b virus could be in your system but would have no symptoms at all unless it's already late and it's eaten up your lungs. ;x

and for being avoided...no. talking to the infected person won't even infect you. nor being touched by the infected person, nor using her things like comb or whatsoever. her saliva won't infect you ..coz to be able to infect someone with hepa b through saliva, you would need LOADS of saliva for that. so that makes kissing okay too, that doesn't infect anyone as long as your partner doesn't have open wounds in the mouth or something. so that's one thing your friend should consider before kissing his boyfriend, i guess.

bubaipal · #11 (**permalink**) 29-04-08, 04:53 AM

Why did she not take hepatitis vaccination. I don't want to call my country bad but even in India most are vaccinated. So, why not in ultra developed US. I assume she is from US.

bubaipal · #12 (**permalink**) 29-04-08, 04:54 AM

Sorry she is an Aussie. But Aussie is also a very developed country. Why did you not take and vaccination. Atleast you should have taken protection while having sex.

Henry123 · #13 (**permalink**) 12-05-08, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubaipal

Sorry she is an Aussie. But Aussie is also a very developed country. Why did you not take and vaccination. Atleast you should have taken protection while having sex.

I agree I think protective sex would have prevented alot of this type of thing going around. Recent studies has shown STD are running higher in females than males in the U.S. (perhaps the world as well???). I would alwasy take a vaccination and otehr preventative measures.

Henry123 · #14 (**permalink**) 12-05-08, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sine24

"A while ago i had sex with this guy who had hepatitis b. At the time i did not know anything about this..he never decided to tell me. And so as a consequence i now have it too. I didn't know i got it until he started acting strange towards me..and he would ask me if i was okay and that i should go and get myself checked out at the doctors. I went straight to the doctors to get a blood test after that and found out that i had contracted hep b."

If I was her I would find out if I could take some legal action against him.
If he knew he was sick and he neglect to tell his partner I think the court would hold him legally responsible.