Originally Posted by
1averagejoe 
But in all seriousness other than material possessions...maybe more close friends. I've never really been able to open up to a lot of people. I have one good friend that I can tell everything to and he's always been there when I needed help. But I've never really had a lot of friends. But I'm working on that now. School is out so well, making friends my age really isn't going to happen now. I've been working on my confidence and this internship has been great experience for me to learn to be confident, how to introduce myself and talk and start conversations with complete strangers. So when school comes around I'll see how that goes.
Ahh.. ISTP
In case you have almost no idea what the heck that means exactly:
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTP.html
Originally Posted by
1averagejoe Other things I want...how about a bj? Sexual desires are constantly on my mind. But I'm a hormone crazy college guy, so that shouldn't be a big surprise. But that's not an issue anyways, I'm not one to whore myself out.
And you shouldn't bother to.. Try and understand.., that most of these are fantasies.. driven by the porn industry.., and spilled over into comedy.., and other forms of media..
Such things are to be enjoyed.., (and desired) from the person you're in a relationship with.., outside of a relationship.., there's no reason you should have them flooding your mind.., do you really want some random girl sucking your cocksicle? No.., you don't want her to be just anyone.., in fact.., it takes a very special girl for you to feel good enough and trust enough to suck on it.., and do so because she wants to do so.., and for no other alternate or latent reason(s)
Originally Posted by
1averagejoe A girlfriend would be nice. Just someone to love and love me equally. Isn't that what we all want?
I don't know.., you tell me..
Originally Posted by
1averagejoe I feel as if I've reached a point where I've moved on and I'm ready to meet others and date. I can look back on the past and I don't feel pain anymore. I laugh at the stupid things we've done. I'm happy I got to experience those stupid things because I've learned so much them and it's made me a better person.
I think what you're feeling.., comes from the fact that mentally.., and due to your personality type.., you're on a much higher level than most people your age.., and again.., from your personality type.., i'm sure i'm not the first person you've heard that from either..
But.., although mentally.., you're on a much higher moral & intellectual level than most men.., (far from "average").., your desires are not in sync with your current life stage..
You don't want a girlfriend for sex.., rather.., not just for sex.., in fact.., you long to be in a serious relationship.., with all of the characteristics of a serious relationship.., imitating a married lifestyle or domestic partnership.., waking up together.., falling asleep together.., traveling together.., cooking together.., shopping together.., intimate sex together.., intimate non-sexual activities together.., deep emotional connection.. etc..
What you fail to understand.., is that the reality is.., there are many guys your age.., (19) who don't feel the same way.., I know.., it's not the majority.., but 25-40% is not a statistic that's easily overlooked.., so the reaction you may be getting.., is that of mistaken identity.., and yes.., the feeling you get is one of feeling unjustified for the reaction you got.., as well as anger.., hate.., confusion.., etc.. You're not able to shake it off.., laugh.., and move on to the next.., because that's not how you operate.., yet you are treated as if that's how you do.. (is it unfair? yes.., but guess what.., life is unfair)
The good news:
When you are finally done with college.., and as you continue to work on your body and when you're finally in the great shape you're comfortable with.., you are going to be one of those "too good to be true" guys.. The kind that women date and constantly ask.., "are you real? why me?".., the kind that her girlfriends go.., "omg you're so lucky.., he's such a great guy".., blah blah..
The reason is.., that many guys.., don't think like you.., there really are some top notch.., insensitive.., selfish.., assholes out there.. who have zero respect for women.., and yes.., the idea is so disgusting to even think about.., that you almost can't blame women for treating all men like these men.. But once they realize that you're not one of these guys.., it's like looking at an empty road at 4am.., with no cops and nothing but green lights from where your car is to as far as your eye can see..
If a girlfriend is what you desire.., and for the right reasons.., then you can more than satisfy that desire.., however.., I hate to break it to you.., but the reason you haven't done so already.., is the working of your own free choice.., prioritizing your education and personal growth.., and placing a "girlfriend" as a less important need.., making it seem that you don't have time for a relationship in your life right now.., it's not worth being in a relationship right now financially.., it could very well compromise other more important priorities in your life.., so by your own choice.., you are not actively seeking out girls as girlfriends.., you're very lax and relaxed.., almost waiting for it to just happen..
Because of that.., what controls.., is "fantasy".., hormonal sexual lust & desire.., and aggravated by stress and need for release and relaxation.., and because you know you're not the kind of person to engage in that kind of lifestyle.., you find yourself feeling frustrated.., and then down.., and the more you dwell on it.., anger.., depression.., anxiety.. Without realizing that this unfulfilled aspect in your life.., is not by consequence.., but by choice..
Best,
GrkScorp
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