I feel down for some reason... - Love Forum

1averagejoe · #1 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 11:04 AM

I don't know why...I just feel down for some reason. It's weird, for a little over a month I just haven't been feeling myself. I've pretty much stopped working out, I'm doing terrible in soccer and I think it has to do with how I'm feeling, and I'm starting to eat terrible and it's showing. I've gained about 5lbs in just that month. I know it may not seem like a lot but that's saying a lot for someone as skinny as me.

I don't like going to the gym or running anymore for some reason, which I used to be addicted to. I tried to go a few times but I just don't feel all there. At school I feel like things are hopeless but I'm doing completely fine in my classes. I've joined a few different clubs and I'm having fun, last night was probably one of the best nights I've had in college. But I just feel like something's not there and missing. I've never really felt this way. I don't think it's that I'm wanting a relationship, although it would be nice. But I also have kind of realized I'm not quite ready for another one. It's only been about 4 months and I'm broke.

I applied for an internship that I've wanted for quite a while and had my interview today and think it went pretty well. I don't understand why I feel like this though. Hell, not that long ago I had almost an entire carton of ice cream! I never eat like that, I can't even remember the last time I had ice cream. I feel like a hormonal pregnant woman. I just feel like crap for some reason.

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 11:13 AM

sorry you're feeling down aj. everybody has times they feel like that.

how old are you?

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 11:25 AM

Are you somewhere where the weather is crappy? Maybe you just need some sun.

1averagejoe · #4 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 11:27 AM

I'm 19...not where there is crappy weather, it's a perfect California day, warm but not hot. I've gotten plenty of sun...I've got a terrible farmers tan from it and soccer.

vashti · #5 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 11:29 AM

Maybe you are just burned out from school. Or maybe you are coming down sick.

NeoSeminole · #6 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 11:57 AM

depression is a cascade of negative thoughts. I can't pinpoint what caused you to initially feel this way but I can recommend to start focusing on the positives in your life. If you don't like something about you, then take steps towards fixing it. Try a new, fun workout. Stop eating unhealthy. Start saving up money. You get the idea. Now get on it.

1averagejoe · #7 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 12:48 PM

Another thing I didn't mention. In public I've never been as confident and shy-less(is that a word?) in my life. I'm a lot more outgoing, talk to people a lot more and act confident. But I've noticed I feel the complete opposite. I honestly lack confidence in myself and well I feel like I'm not up to par with what I should be physically. I'm not fat, not ugly, just an average joe. And the most odd thing has been crossing my mind. I've thought about what if I used steroids. I mean, it's completely random. I've never felt this way before. I don't do drugs. I don't even drink...but I've thought about steroids. And it kind of scares me to think I've actually thought about it. I just feel like there's something wrong.

I guess I feel like I lack confidence but I put on a show for people so I seem like I'm ok with myself. I just don't feel good about myself right now. I guess you can say I'm not quite satisfied with myself

I think neo may be right though about me being depressed. I'm going to go out for a run at these gorgeous bluffs overlooking the ocean near my house. Haven't been for a run up there for years. I'm going to start forcing myself to start running again. In fact I think I need to set myself a goal, I'm going to train for a 10K and try to find one to race in. I haven't done a race in almost a year and can hardly do a 5K anymore.

I think I've been hiding my feelings through food, I've been eating on an average of about 4-5 times a day. Surprising I haven't gained more than 5lbs.

Mishanya · #8 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 02:22 PM

How often do you go out with friends? Do you have a lot of different circles of friends that you spend time with? Are you getting enough sleep? How is your confidence level, do you feel confident in yourself and in your abilities? Do you find yourself ruminate a lot?

Those would be the first questions I would ask myself.

1averagejoe · #9 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

How often do you go out with friends? Do you have a lot of different circles of friends that you spend time with? Are you getting enough sleep? How is your confidence level, do you feel confident in yourself and in your abilities? Do you find yourself ruminate a lot?

Those would be the first questions I would ask myself.

I go out with friends every now and then...I do have a lot of different circles of friends that I spend some time with. I've never been the type of person to go out a lot though but I still do every now and then.

I rarely get a decent amount of sleep. With college and studying that doesn't happen as often. I was at school till 10:30pm last night, although I rarely feel tired the next day. I also mentioned the confidence thing in my last post. And yes I do ruminate and think about things a lot, I've always been like that...I'm an engineer major, I analyze everything lol.

Mishanya · #10 (**permalink**) 02-05-08, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1averagejoe

I rarely get a decent amount of sleep. With college and studying that doesn't happen as often. I was at school till 10:30pm last night, although I rarely feel tired the next day. I also mentioned the confidence thing in my last post. And yes I do ruminate and think about things a lot, I've always been like that...I'm an engineer major, I analyze everything lol.

Ruminating is not the same as analyzing. Analysis have a beginning and an end, rumination is more of a process that keeps on going and going endlessly until you knock yourself out or something like that. It's most instant occurance is sometimes when you try to sleep, but you can't because you can't stop thinking about something and that goes on for hours.

To stop rumination it ussually takes more than just positive thinking. You need to find ways to relax, clear your mind, meditate. Use relaxation technicques to get rid of stress. Sometimes even massaging the areas around the temples and at the back helps. I think that if you can find a way to do this + plus get enough sleep (at least 7 hours per night) you might start seeing your old self come back.

Tone · #11 (**permalink**) 03-05-08, 05:59 AM

Joe, you gotta pick yourself up!

1averagejoe · #12 (**permalink**) 03-05-08, 06:29 AM

Alright well I just got home from school and I forced myself to play well at my soccer game and it just clicked. We played the best team in the league in even though we didn't win, that was our best game and it went well. I'm starting to feel a little better. Going to try and get myself to bed earlier tonight and go running tomorrow morning.

Thank you everyone for the help.

Henry123 · #13 (**permalink**) 03-05-08, 07:24 AM

1averagejoe could it be you are suffering from psychological depression or more serious depressive disorder (not to blow it out of proprtion of course. Its probably nothing).
If its something serious you should speak to your familiy doctor about it.

Now if your feeling low in energy it could be due to a number of things. It could be from a thyroid disorder (your doctor could easiliy do a blood test for that) or you can simple be low in energy. Maybe its your diet??? If not you might want to take into consideration of taking something like Ginseng tablets it does help boast your energy and libido up.

1averagejoe · #14 (**permalink**) 11-05-08, 09:16 AM

So call me crazy...but I think I finally realized why I've been feeling so crappy. I had a very awkward dream last night. Well I was in a car with the guy I'm pretty sure was the guy cheating on me with my ex. So I said something along the lines "I know what happened." And somehow I ended up outside of the car and I'm chasing him on a motorcycle. He gets off at the off ramp I would get off to get to my ex's house. I ended up losing him, was pissed off I wanted to kick his ass so badly. Then I woke up sweating feeling like crap.

My breakup with my ex was terrible. I was heartbroken, embarrassed, angry, and so many other emotions. I'm not one to open up to really show my emotions. The first week and a half or so I couldn't hold it in, I hadn't cried that hard in years. After that I was still hurting but I guess I kind of kept all those emotions to myself. I would run and workout like a mad man, hang out, and do hobbies to keep my mind off of it. I guess these past months I've kind of put on a show and even convinced myself that I'm fine. But I'm not...I'm still hurt.

I think a lot of my resentment towards women in general about jokingly being crazy man-eaters is because of this as well. I kind of transferred the pain I've been feeling to anger. I guess it's kind of eating away at me and I just don't feel like doing anything anymore. I've tried to go out and run still. I go on and off but I just don't feel like myself and it's hard. I feel helpless and lack motivation. I've tried finding someone else but that just didn't work. Last girl I asked out kinda blew me off. But now I realize I'm not ready for a relationship but I want one...if that makes any sense?

**** me...what the hell did I do to deserve this crap? I treated her like ****ing royalty and she threw it back into my ****ing face. Now I'm the one that has to carry the burden of her consequences.

Henry123 · #15 (**permalink**) 11-05-08, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1averagejoe

...
**** me...what the hell did I do to deserve this crap? I treated her like ****ing royalty and she threw it back into my ****ing face. ....

From one guy to another.

A number of my friends say that you shouldnt expect much from most women.

Even though you treated her like royalty she wants a guys who has an opinion of his own, has balls and can live without her. Dont end up being her carpet she wont respect you if you do; it seems the most succesful guys are guys who dont give a cr*p about what woman thinks (its sad but true). Do her a favour only if she is willing to do you a favour in return. Other wise she take you for granted and sees you as a lapp dog.

The good news is theres literally tons of other women out there. So the best thing to do is to look around for new opportunities. Always have several women on hand seems to be the most common advice from male dating experst.