Originally Posted by sashna
Hiya guys
Iv heard lotsa comments about how ther first time was bad because it hurt alot, or that the situation wasn't right.
My first time is coming up, and I'm not here for a lecture because I'm 17 and I feel completely comfortable with him and want it to happen, I was just wondering if theres anything you can do to make the moment special for both parties.
Also is there anyway you can stop it from hurting so much, or all together?
And while we're on that subject if it hurts the first time and you do it again a few hours later will it still hurt?
Thanks in advance for any of your help
Love Sashna xxxxxxxx
You'll find about a bazillion "first time sex advice" posts on this forum, and other 'net pages. Here's a few:
Your First Time More "Your first Time" First Time Pain
The story of how my wife & I exchanged virginity (I gave her mine and got hers in return) on our wedding night is here:
Wedding Night Virgins
The best advice comes down to this: The more comfortable you are with your sexuality, the more physically aroused and relaxed you are, and the more emotionally secure you are with your partner, the better your experience will be.
Several authorities believe that a virgin girl's discomfort (OK - "why the first time hurts like hell") comes not so much from ruptering her hymen but from opening her vaginal muscles. With that in mind, there's a fairly straightforward recipe for the physiological mechanics of an easy first intercourse.
1. Learn to have an orgasm. You may have to start with your own fingers. Then let your partner learn to use his mouth and fingers.
2. Learn to give your partner an orgasm. (Pretty much the same process as above.)
(Sharing this level of intimacy may be a VERY satisfactory substitute for intercourse for quite a long time as your relationship develops.)
When the "big day" arrives - either by careful planning, or spontaneously - he climaxes first. In your hand, mouth, pressing against you, or whatever method you've enjoyed together. This takes the "edge" off his response, and makes him more patient and sensitive to you.
Then, while he's recovering, he helps you to an orgasm. At this point you will be as relaxed, open, and lubricated as you will EVER be.
You get on top and guide it in. Unless he's been with a LOT of partners he won't necessarily feel the "best" way into you. Everybody is a little different regarding placement, angle, etc. YOU are the only one who can really feel what's happening and the right route. Don't be afraid to move around - sit up, lean back, lean forward, lay out flat on top of him, or whatever seems to make it good.
He will almost certainly cum too quickly. That may actually be a good thing for you. Regardless - let him know how much you care for him. In the moments following your first intercourse you may BOTH be more emotionally naked and vulnerable than any other time in your lives.
You didn't say whether it's his first also. Even if it isn't, he's probably having many of the same thoughts you are. Don't assume that "the first time doesn't matter as much to a guy". It matters - maybe not in the same way, but probably just as much.
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