sex and long distant love

[amandaS]

hello all,

i'm new to this forum and hoping I can get some good advices. I've read through this forum and I really like it. Ok, here is my problem:

I am in a long distant relationship with this guy for 3 yrs. 2/3 of this 3 years was long distant due to his job. We do make time to see each other and I am in love with him. However, I'm not happy in this relationship because we don't want the same things. I am ready to settle down and he's not. I am active and he's a couch lover! There are many differences, but I still love him and care for him so much.
Well, just recently I met a friend.. a guy friend. We clicked instantly and I become closer and closer to him. We talk about anything and everything. He's very attentive and caring. But most important, he shows that he wants me than anything else.
My heart somewhat is touched, but I don't want to break up with my bf. I love him. But yet, I have wild thoughts with this new guy. The fire inside of me is burning and I want to get intimated with him. But at the same time, I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. I feel I am cheating on my bf. BUt yet I want to be loved and cared for, and to be touched and caressed. I don't really get these with my relationship too often. This new guy is offering me the part that is missing in my relationship and this part somewhat fulfills me.
So, what do I need to do? This new guy understands my situation and convinces me that he wants nothing more but being with me. He even accepts the fact that there's a possibility that I might never be with him.
So, what should I do? Should I live up to my passions and be the sinner-cheater? I know this is a loaded question, but I'm so confused right now. Please help!!

[Tone]

Well. Three year relationship and you feel you guys are don't want the same things. What are you hoping for, him to magically wake up one day and want to settle down?

Not to mention it's long distance and here you have an opportunity with someone who is physically close to you, and mentally more on your same level, too (from what you describe).

It's up to you of course, but it sounds like you're not happy in your current relationship, and the new guy seems more on your same level, not to mention you won't have to deal with the whole long-distance factor. Don't cheat. Just figure out what you really want. One or the other. Let us know how it turns out.

[Spencer]

amanda - doesn't sound to me like you are just craving the attention. sounds like new guy might be the real thing for you. go for it. but don't cheat. try and take your current relationship to where you want it to go and if you can't, take it to its natural conclusion and then start up with new guy. give your current bf one last chance.