? - conscious decision

[strawberryjh]

Is it a conscious desicion for a guy whether or not to cum?
I've been having a bit of an issue with my boyfriend over this, he says it's not a conscious desicion, so there's nothing he can really do about it, but he won't cum in front of me.
He says it's not that he doesn't want to, he doesn't think he's particularly uncomfortable with it, he just can't.
And the inexperienced moron that i am, can't make him.
Any suggestions anybody? What can i do?

Thanks a lot.xx

[vashti]

He probably is experiencing some sort of anxiety. Trying to force the situation will only make it worse. Don't make it your "goal" to see him ejaculate, and keep in mind that this isn't about you - it is HIS problem.

Here are a few questions:

How old are you both?
Are you virgins?
What forms of sexual activity are you participating in?

[strawberryjh]

Sorry, I think I phrased that wrong. It's not like I'm trying to MAKE him do something he doesn't want. We've talked about it, and he wants it.
He's scared there's something wrong with him because he doesn't really understand his own body. He's only ever ejaculated in his sleep so he knows just as little as i do.

We're both 17, and both virgins. Been together for just over 6 months, and that's long enough to have some fun, but neither of us are ready for sex yet and that's okay for now. We just wanna get used to each other's bodies for now.
Sexual activity is mostly just hands stuff, i guess some oral to a certain extent, just whatever he tells me feels good.

And thanks a lot for the responce, I'm really not trying to force him, I just don't want him to think something's wrong with him.

[Gribble]

I don't know much about this stuff save from my own experiences. At that age if a girl so much as breathed on it I'd shoot my wad. I could understand anxiety being an issue, but he can't even do it alone? He might want to talk to his doctor. Could be something wrong.

[anachronistic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberryjh

Is it a conscious desicion for a guy whether or not to cum?
I've been having a bit of an issue with my boyfriend over this, he says it's not a conscious desicion, so there's nothing he can really do about it, but he won't cum in front of me.
He says it's not that he doesn't want to, he doesn't think he's particularly uncomfortable with it, he just can't.
And the inexperienced moron that i am, can't make him.
Any suggestions anybody? What can i do?

Thanks a lot.xx

A guy can't decide when he should come. But it can be controlled. For example, when he feels like he is about to, or will soon, stop all movement, give it about 3 seconds, and start at it again. Google for tips. They are all over the net.

[Tiay]

he's 17 and has only ever ejaculated in his sleep? He needs to learn how to masturbate himself. I'm a bit dumb-founed. Most guys figure that out by the time they're 17. maybe you can show him this...(disclaimer: only if that's legal where-ever it is that you live.)

yes, that's right, it's a video of a guy masturbating and I hope nobody has a problem with that. It's not porn, it's designed to be educational. Seeing a video will help assure him that there's nothing wrong with him- just as long as he remembers all guys have different shapes, sizes, skin tones, etc., that all guys have different preferences when it comes to how to masturbate themselves, and that everyone discovers their sexuality in their own way, at their own pace.

If you feel ready for that kind of thing (heh, my 17 year old self would have fled) you could even try doing that to him. don't be scared of his penis, it wont hurt you. Unless you get him to ejaculate (cum) and then you get the stuff all over your fingers and then put your fingers in your vagina and get pregnant. Yes, that does happen, so whatever you do, don't do that, because it would suck to be 17, pregnant, and a virgin.

[strawberryjh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

he's 17 and has only ever ejaculated in his sleep? He needs to learn how to masturbate himself.

That's the thing. I don't think he ever has. I'm his first girlfriend, and he's not exactly a testosterone filled bloke, he just never really needed to. And now I'm on the scene he doesn't really have to discover it himself which is why I feel like I kind of need to know what I'm doing a little bit more.

Thanks everyone for responces, I shall talk to him a little more I think. It's not the most important thing in the world to either of us I don't think, I just don't want him to be scared.

[The Great OV!!!]

I can hold out an orgasm, but I can't make it happen right away with out stimulation.