Unsettled and need some help or atleast a few comments

[maryanne]

hi guys,

i'm new here and a couple of years ago i stumbled upon this site but then never really came back. anyway, i have something that i was hoping i could just write about and see if anyone had any thoughts or comments on it. i realize that since i am writing about this, i find it unsettling and want to know if there are others who also feel the same way when they are in a relationship. (even though, really, my "issue" doesn't seem like a big deal...just something I've been thinking about more in the recent weeks)

okay, so my boyfriend and i have been together almost 9 months now. i am 23 and he is 24. to get right down to the nitty gritty of it, we have not had sex. he wants to. and i am not ready so he respects that. i am also a virgin. we have, however, found other ways to satisfy each other so we're happy. atleast i am. i know that he probably wants more but i'm just not ready emotionally. he is really good at "satisfying" me and he pretty much goes all out and tries as best as he can to please me...so he is awesome of course haha. i, on the other hand, am not so good at this and it's not that i don't want to be more into it when I'm trying to make him orgasm, i just can't seem to let go and explore more. i am hesitant to do more things other than the typical "hand job" and it makes me feel really bad since he is doing so much but i don't seem to reciprocate. i guess all you guys out there are probably thinking about what a horrible girlfriend i am but it's just that i don't feel ready and i don't want to force myself to do something i'm not ready to do. i pretty much didn't have any experience in anything sexual before him and so i am shy and hesistant i guess.

i've also been considering oral but i can't bring myself to do that for him. i want to but at the same time don't want to.

anyway, i don't really know what i'm trying to ask help for. are there others out there that feel the same way i do? is it because i haven't been in serious relationships before and that's why i'm hesitant? is it because i don't love him yet and that's why i'm hesitant?

anyway...i hope no one pokes fun at what i've said. please do comment, i welcome your help.

[vashti]

No one feels comfortable doing something for the first time; you may not feel comfortable performing oral until you have done it a few times.

If you do decide to do this, be sure to be safe. You mentioned YOU were a virgin, but not him, so be sure he is STD-free and/or have him wear a condom.

[senatorbob10]

Be Careful!!!

[Gigabitch]

When you're ready, I think you'll find a lot of slf-satisfaction in learning how to do oral- it will bring him so much pleasure and you'll feel that you've given him something special. You will also retain your virginity while becoming much more familiar with male sexuality.

Do not do this until you want to. That's half the appeal for guys- if they know you're into it, they can really let loose and enjoy themselves.

I think it's sweet that he's not pressuring you. You're a lucky girl.