Premature & causing problems! - Love Forum

pleasehelp · #1 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 12:14 AM

I've been with my partner for three years and we never had problems at the start, our sex life was amazing, he'd go for great amounts of time, sometimes we had to stop because we were exhausted - and when he had'nt even finished!! everything else has always been great but about 8 months ago, maybe even longer, it started going downhill and it began lasting minutes. It caused many problems, and as a couple we began to struggle - he felt insecure & I felt bored. Around Christmas we nearly broke up as there seemed like there was no spark at all. We did try to improve at things, as we do love eachother, we decided to try new things & tried techniques like "stop & start", or going again afterwards (even though this sometimes lead to SHORTER amounts of time!!), we also tried improve on the things that are good in our sex life. After all this its even worse. Theres been occasions when its seconds. What annoys me is that we have to keep stopping, after seconds of starting, and its just soo frustrating i'm sick of everything else I just want to get straight to the point. I have'nt orgasmed in so long. I've read through magazines and looked up on internet sites and nothing is working, everything suggested is rubbish and can't go on forever. I am 5 months pregnant currently, and I want to make the most of being able to have an active sex life, but how can I when we're stopping and staring every 30 seconds?!! Please help!!!

Gribble · #2 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 12:33 AM

Have him go down on you.

pleasehelp · #3 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 12:45 AM

Like I said, I'm sick of everything else. Oral does get boring when its the only thing that you can call a "sex life", espescially when I prefer penetration. Anyone else know of things that can help? I also don't want to have to rely on sex toys - the real thing should be doing the job, I really don't understand why its got so bad!!

vashti · #4 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 01:04 AM

I think your insistance that orgasms occur only through traditional intercourse combined with the pending arrival of a new life is probably contributing to the problem by increasing his anxiety. Ultimately, an orgasm is an orgasm, and if he is willing to provide one, I'd go with the flow for now until his anxiety is reduced. After your baby comes, it is very likely you won't have the time (or as much interest) in prolonged sexual encounters for a while anyway. Otherwise, I suppose you could seek a sex therapist.

Out of curiosity, was your pregnancy planned or a surprise?

NeoSeminole · #5 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 01:49 AM

waaa waaa, you big baby. It's not his responsibility to make sure you have an orgasm during sex.

vashti · #6 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

waaa waaa, you big baby. It's not his responsibility to make sure you have an orgasm during sex.

Is that the response you would have if the person complaining was the male?

NeoSeminole · #7 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 02:08 AM

yes. I certainly wouldn't blame the girl if a guy couldn't cum from sex. Why should there be an exception for women?

pleasehelp · #8 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 02:20 AM

No, it is'nt about not having orgasms. Its the fact that I have no more than a minutes worth of penetration before he feels the urge to cum. You can't say you would'nt care after 8-9 months of this happening, if you were a woman. Knowing a blokes point of view you'd go elsewhere, why ask. I've remained faithful even though the sex life is a disaster, i'm bored and annoyed, and it makes him look unattractive to me when not long after getting inside me he says, "oh crap, i feel like i'm gonna cum".

We might aswell give up all together.

I'm guessing there is nothing we can do now, is there

Dazed*Confused · #9 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 02:36 AM

Have you tried medications?!!? watching porn together?? the same thing happened between me and my man, but we started new things, like porn, lubs, he tried some pills for fun( some do work) toys, but things are getting back to normal, we went from hours to 3-10 mins now were back to around 45mins. atleast....

vashti · #10 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

yes. I certainly wouldn't blame the girl if a guy couldn't cum from sex. Why should there be an exception for women?

Aww, come on Neo! One *minute* of sex should satisfy her? There isn't a man alive who could give a woman a vaginal orgasm in one minute. I think the average length of time of vaginal intercourse is 5-10 minutes.

I'm not saying I don't think it's a problem pleasehelp. If you are really at you wits end, see a sex therapist. However, again - I think it could be related to your pregnancy and intense focus on vaginal intercourse rather than the orgasm.

Gigabitch · #11 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pleasehelp

Like I said, I'm sick of everything else. Oral does get boring when its the only thing that you can call a "sex life", espescially when I prefer penetration.

Please explain to me how him going down on you precludes penetration? First he has a snack at the Y-bar, then he humps you for 85 seconds. See?

I suggest he have a wank earlier in the evening, so he'll last longer with you. There are also some condoms you can get that are supposed to delay male orgasm, but I don't know what they're called.

Other than that, I suggest you try a nice, old-fashioned cock ring.

Chimeros0 · #12 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 04:38 AM

From the word "GO!" this sounds like your typical first time Dad going through "The Problems".

Have you ever considered that this sort of behavior only started happening after you got pregnant & told him?

Perhaps yours husband has some issues regarding your pregnancy?

If so,they must be tackled now!

You should go to a doctor or sex therapist to give him a run down of what's happening to you,your body & the baby.Educate him & ask him what he thinks could be the problem with his "eagerness"...

You might find he has some sort of "mental bug" because his worried about you & the baby...

vashti · #13 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Please explain to me how him going down on you precludes penetration? First he has a snack at the Y-bar, then he humps you for 85 seconds. See?

I suggest he have a wank earlier in the evening, so he'll last longer with you. There are also some condoms you can get that are supposed to delay male orgasm, but I don't know what they're called.

Other than that, I suggest you try a nice, old-fashioned cock ring.

Forgive my stupidity, but what is this, and what is its purpose? (Good idea about the early-evening wank.)

Gigabitch · #14 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 05:07 AM

From wiki:

A cock ring or cockring is a ring that is placed around a man's penis, usually at the base, primarily to slow the leakage of blood from the erect penile tissue, thus maintaining erection for longer. Cock rings can be worn around just the penis or penis and scrotum, or just the scrotum alone, though this is usually designated as a testicle cuff. Rings can be made of a variety of different materials, most commonly leather, rubber, or silicone, though nylon and metal are also used either as the main component or part of the closure.

vashti · #15 (**permalink**) 08-05-07, 05:12 AM

Damn, that was in wiiki?