The Clit (Not working) - Love Forum

theguy · #1 (**permalink**) 08-06-07, 04:12 PM

Well the title almost summed it up. Everytime I go down on my girl and try to play with the Clit (supposed to be really sensitive right?) she likes it for about 5 seconds, and then tells me to stop playing with it because it doesnt feel good. So I go inside an do what I can, I get her going pretty good she says that Im amazing (although Ive only made her orgasm once i think? I dont know she says I do all the time, but I cant tell the difference between when I do and when I dont, besides when she squirts)

Anyway so 2 questions - ?

1) Am I playing with the clit wrong? I play with it almost identical as the way i do nipples, I gently rub them on the sides on the top, in up/down and half circle motions.

2) Is there really a huge defining point between normal stimulation and the female orgasm?

#2 (**permalink**) 08-06-07, 09:03 PM

if you're licking it raw, that's the problem. try orally stimulating other areas on or around her vagina.

there are many things needed other than stimulation to give a girl the orgasm she needs. she needs to feel secure and a lot of other stuff. i am sure women on this forum can give you more pointers.

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 08-06-07, 10:26 PM

The clitoris is very sensitive, and if what you are doing doesn't feel good, you are probably doing it wrong. Vaginas need to be "warmed up" - you can't just jump right on it.

Are you using your tongue or your fingers? (It isn't clear based on your post). Also, it sounds very unlikely she is having orgasms at all. Your girl should learn how to give herself an orgasm before hoping someone else can do it for her.

Tiay · #4 (**permalink**) 08-06-07, 10:53 PM

heheh I like the thread title...

I can't tell you too much about technique because it depends on her. But what's for sure is that you shouldn't go straight for the clit, and you shouldn't go too hard on the clit- that's something that'd make it feel bad pretty quick. let her show you. You can't know if she wont show you!
also, the clit is not like a penis. Guys stroke *faster* when they're masturbating and about to come. I actually go *slower*. maybe it's just me, I dunno..

Frasbee · #5 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 12:47 AM

I tried findin' her clit by hand (she wouldn't let me remove her pajama pants), and I tried lightly stroking her/exploring, navigating with my mind what I remember from diagrams, but no success. Easier if I could see it.

She did bite down on my lip at one point, so I just keep goin' with that until she pulled my hand out. ARGH.

#6 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 12:55 AM

DAMN frasbee, so ****in' close.

do you think that biting your lip could have been body language that said "get your hands out of my pants"? or was it a sexier bite that said the opposite?

Frasbee · #7 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilwing

DAMN frasbee, so ****in' close.

do you think that biting your lip could have been body language that said "get your hands out of my pants"? or was it a sexier bite that said the opposite?

Who knows, the only verbal indication I might've been doin' somethin' right was when I told her she bit me (it wasn't that hard), she said she didn't remember, but wouldn't be surprised because "you got so intense!".

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 01:06 AM

I kept the strokes light, knowing well enough that she might/might not be very sensitive. She doesn't like to talk much about what pleases her and what doesn't, which I've brought up to her before, she thinks it'll "ruin the experience" because I'll know what to do. Fear of routine maybe?

Anyway, she's the type of girl that is moved more by the emotional side of sex than the physical side. Kind of frustrating for me because I do put a lot of emphasis on physical pleasure.

Tiay · #9 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 04:01 AM

damn, I wish my bf would ask that... don't get me wrong, it's awesome, but he does and one or two techniques that don't do much for me.

Frasbee · #10 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

damn, I wish my bf would ask that... don't get me wrong, it's awesome, but he does and one or two techniques that don't do much for me.

Then grab his hand and move it the way you want him to.

He'll get the clue.

Gigabitch · #11 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Then grab his hand and move it the way you want him to.

He'll get the clue.

Apparently, they like being directed. My bf does.

OP, I suspect you're just going too hard. There could be any number of reasons she isn't into it, but that was the first one that comes to mind. You wouldn't even believe how sensitive the clitoris is.

Some other possibilities:

If you're using your fingers, are they clean? I mean, really clean, like you washed your hands before you got into bed? If I even suspect someone's fingers might be dirty, they are not going anywhere near Hello Kitty.

Also, if you're using your fingers, they need to be wet- put them in your mouth or get some of her natural lube from inside her vagina, but the dry rub thing earns you a poke in the eye after about 8 seconds.

If it's your mouth involved, remember, sometimes less is more. Don't try to get too crazy with it- some gentle tonguing will go a lot farther than the Scooby Doo treatment.

Tiay · #12 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Then grab his hand and move it the way you want him to.

He'll get the clue.

more like grab the very tip of his index finger, which is a bit trickier. I've done it, but he seems to take it like "ok, so this motion.. only a lot faster and harder!". Now that I think of it, he also does that when I tell him that what he's doing is perfect. It's like he's thinking "ok, this if is good, so it'll be even better if I do it faster and harder.."
I guess it's a guy mentality

Tiay · #13 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Apparently, they like being directed. My bf does.

I guess I'm just super afraid that I'll hurt his feelings. It's not like he doesn't direct me now and then, though, and I don't mind. Heck I let him hold my head during BJs. Most girls don't like that, it seems, so maybe that's just me...

Frasbee · #14 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

I guess I'm just super afraid that I'll hurt his feelings. It's not like he doesn't direct me now and then, though, and I don't mind. Heck I let him hold my head during BJs. Most girls don't like that, it seems, so maybe that's just me...

Then take his hand, and move it exactly how you want him to, and tell him "just like that", at this point he might continue looking to you for audible direction, give it to him.

I don't know about guys in general, but I personally would love it. I believe there's more trust when two people aren't afraid to share what they like and don't like, rather both taking wild guesses. As a result, that's hot.

#15 (**permalink**) 09-06-07, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

I guess I'm just super afraid that I'll hurt his feelings. It's not like he doesn't direct me now and then, though, and I don't mind. Heck I let him hold my head during BJs. Most girls don't like that, it seems, so maybe that's just me...

Vielleicht..."Fickst mich wie ein Tier wird haben" er kommt richtig aus Deutschland so sagst das zu ihn.

only while he's doing it though.