No intercourse for us... - Love Forum

Frasbee · #1 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 11:04 AM

We both decided, (or rather I decided, and she agreed), that we're going to steer clear of intercourse, regardless of protection. For now. I'd just rather not have the worry at all.

However.

As some of you know, I've been goin' down on Amy for a while now, and just recently I've managed to give her orgasms. Even more recent that she started jerkin' me off, and starting this weekend, going down on me.

The jerkin' hasn't been that great, especially considering we haven't invested in lube yet. I've discovered it's difficult for another person to jerk me off dry, as successfully as myself.

Just the other day she went down on me, but I didn't manage to cum, so I ended up finishing it off myself. Then the night after, she was determined to get me to climax. She was probably at it for 20 minutes (with breaks), and it wasn't until the last second that I was starting to come that she gave up in frustration, and telling me to "finish it off yourself". I told her to stop because I was about to bust, 'cause she said she wasn't comfortable yet with me ejaculating in her mouth. She thought I meant "stop" because she wasn't getting anywhere.

You're the guy, you should be easy!

She's frustrated and upset that she can't pleasure me the same way, and as frequently, as I please her. It frustrates me that she feels that way. We're both new at this, so we're still figuring out what works and what doesn't, and her technique isn't the best but she's getting better.

Thing is, oral doesn't seem to get me off that quickly. I've tried everything, relaxing, tensing. It sucks, because she did something towards the end that almost set me off. Maybe oral isn't my thing (apparently), but I'm thinking maybe I got desensitized after cumming 4 times in 3 days. (This is new to me too.)

Man, I can see how having sex with new, unexperienced partners could be so frustrating. Virgins don't know their bodies enough. Patience, patience, patience.

EDIT: This issue has been resolved.

DoesntMatter · #2 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 12:14 PM

I don't think I need to know anything technical about sex to at least say "Practice makes perfect!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Man, I can see how having sex with new, unexperienced partners could be so frustrating. Virgins don't know their bodies enough. Patience, patience, patience.

Mainly no girl would put up with a virgin guy. Except a hooker. They are good people

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 12:29 PM

You are certainly not alone. I have heard this is a common problem.

In any case, stop touching your weiner without her. It will help to sensitize you.

squirrley · #4 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 06:17 PM

Omg Vash thats funny. ok Fras this is all new to you guys. I agree with Vas you've gotta stop taking care of your needs on a regular basis. If youre doing it all the time daily or several times daily, it will be difficult for someone else to make you come.

And heres another idea, are you moaning or telling her you like what she's doing? Does she change it up? Does she do other things other than focus on your wiener?(sorry thats funny Vash-wiener) I mean like play with your tennis balls and such?

Get some of Ky Jelly's new stuff, they have warming massage stuff and its nice too. Hang in there, and it will be fine.

I have to give you guys huge kudos for not having intercourse.

Charlie Boy II · #5 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 08:04 PM

First of all, it's great Amy is prepared to give oral (for 20 minutes no less!). That's not a given amongst females and never to be taken for granted.

Your problem with cumming is probably because you're so used to doing it yourself. You've probably jerked off the same way for the last, what, three thousand times? It takes the dick a little time to get used to responding to different stimuli.

Anyway it sounds like you've got the makings of a great sexual partnership there.

GrkScorp · #6 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

We both decided, (or rather I decided, and she agreed), that we're going to steer clear of intercourse, regardless of protection. For now. I'd just rather not have the worry at all.

However.

As some of you know, I've been goin' down on Amy for a while now, and just recently I've managed to give her orgasms. Even more recent that she started jerkin' me off, and starting this weekend, going down on me.

The jerkin' hasn't been that great, especially considering we haven't invested in lube yet. I've discovered it's difficult for another person to jerk me off dry, as successfully as myself.

Just the other day she went down on me, but I didn't manage to cum, so I ended up finishing it off myself. Then the night after, she was determined to get me to climax. She was probably at it for 20 minutes (with breaks), and it wasn't until the last second that I was starting to come that she gave up in frustration, and telling me to "finish it off yourself". I told her to stop because I was about to bust, 'cause she said she wasn't comfortable yet with me ejaculating in her mouth. She thought I meant "stop" because she wasn't getting anywhere.

You're the guy, you should be easy!

She's frustrated and upset that she can't pleasure me the same way, and as frequently, as I please her. It frustrates me that she feels that way. We're both new at this, so we're still figuring out what works and what doesn't, and her technique isn't the best but she's getting better.

Thing is, oral doesn't seem to get me off that quickly. I've tried everything, relaxing, tensing. It sucks, because she did something towards the end that almost set me off. Maybe oral isn't my thing (apparently), but I'm thinking maybe I got desensitized after cumming 4 times in 3 days. (This is new to me too.)

Man, I can see how having sex with new, unexperienced partners could be so frustrating. Virgins don't know their bodies enough. Patience, patience, patience.

Fasbee.. you are my brother, from an other mother.. seriously..

we are one in the same.. I've suffered from this problem for as long as I can remember.. I hate oral sex, not because women are bad at it.. but because it simply doesn't feel good..

sex doesn't do much either.. i'm sure we could be at it for hours, and we would never be done.. the only thing that seems to work is manual sex once in a blue moon..

now, I recently came out of a relationship where we encountered the same problem.. In fact, when we first had sex, we went to Philly on vacation.. she wanted to see this medical museum, so it wasn't completely for sex.. but anyway.. we must have tried having sex for easily 12-14 hours with some breaks in between.. after that long.. I still didn't climax.. forget her, I was frustrated.. but speaking of her.. she was also frustrated, couldn't understand it.. was used to the minutemen of her time.. (it's called RE, Retarded Ejaculation, some men can't climax at all, some men litterally take forever).. so what hap? why did we go out for 3 years?

well.. we woke up early morning the next day to go at it again.. from 7-8ish am.. to about 2pm, we were at it.. and finally.. I started to get this pleasure sensation from manual sex.. so I told her just keep doing what ur doing, it's feeling good, I think it's going to happen.. and well.. by 2pm.. it happened.. ugh.. let me tell you how relieving that felt after so long.. my penis was on fire.. it had turned red.. had to let it sit under some cold water.. lol

but.. there's good news... my RE was largely due to psychological barriers.. so the longer I was with someone, the less time it would take.. so our next sexual encounters didn't produce much for me.. but after that.. it went down to 6 hours before I climaxed.. then 3-4ish.. then 1-2ish.. and sometimes.. in under 20mins!!!

so, patience has a large part to do with it.. it def takes time.. but wow.. what a lazy fcuk she is (sry).. i've gone down on my gf before for more than an hour (that's an hour of straining ur neck & tongue) before she orgasmed.. I mean.. if I was a girl and had to sit all cumfy on a bed just using my hand(s).. i'd be able to go at it for like 2 hours or more..

anyway.. just work on it.. go see a doctor about it.. they'll give u some tips.. DON'T take cialis.. it will only shoot up ur libido and not help with ejaculation.. but most importantly.. talk to her.. let her know that it's not HER fault.. it's something wrong with YOU.. that you're both going to work on..

Michael6084 · #7 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 11:44 PM

I don't know if this will help, but I read somewhere that many guys, at least, who masturbate and get quite used to it more than actual sex may end up enjoying masturbation more because it allows a guy to dive into a more fantasy world with porn.

But yeah, this kind of falls in line to what Vashti said.

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 16-11-07, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

You are certainly not alone. I have heard this is a common problem.

In any case, stop touching your weiner without her. It will help to sensitize you.

I haven't touched myself since she started touching me.

She got me off one way or another 3 times in those 2 days. I'm thinking that might've been a reason for my desensitization.

Yeah, she does many various things, it's preceded by plenty of foreplay and usually soon after I got her to climax. Plus because we're both new at this, she's constantly trying different techniques. Sometimes she'll do something that really drives me wild, but by the time I say something, she's moved onto something else.

What I do like about the sexual side of our relationship is that afterwards we talk about what was great and what wasn't so hot. She pretty conservative about all that stuff, but bein' a yankee, I'm used to talking about sex on a normal basis, and I think it does us well.

Anyway, she's told me that she really wants to get me off (orally) 'cause her pride has been hurt a bit.

Shit, how often has a girl told me she wants to suck my cock?

Never.

It's awesome.

Regardless of my ability to climax or not, the foreplay, the touching, kissing, sucking, is awesome. In fact, so far, I've found all of that to be far more pleasurable than ejaculating. Shit, at one point, my whole face started to tingle when she started kissing and sucking on my ear. It didn't go away for 10 minutes at least. I love it.

BVSensation27 · #9 (**permalink**) 16-11-07, 08:48 AM

I was about to say.. it would help if there is some foreplay. But I'm sure you have establish that already. Oral sex is different for everyone. My boyfriend loves it when I give him oral. I make sure that I tease the hell out of him and play with his balls. I even suck on his balls lightly a bit. It drives him crazy. Have you guys tried doing 69? That's pretty fun.

Frasbee · #10 (**permalink**) 16-11-07, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BVSensation27

Have you guys tried doing 69? That's pretty fun.

No.

I have a one track mind.

It's all or nothing, too much stimuli deadens my senses.

Shit, our foreplay can last for hours.

In fact foreplay is all we used to do.

We're foreplay pros.

Charlie Boy II · #11 (**permalink**) 16-11-07, 10:08 AM

Foreplays all you used to do? Have you and Amy banged uglies?

Frasbee · #12 (**permalink**) 16-11-07, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II

Foreplays all you used to do? Have you and Amy banged uglies?

Nope.

As far as the bible is concerned, we're both virgins.

Like I said, no intercourse.

Frasbee · #13 (**permalink**) 29-12-07, 03:49 PM

I asked about anal. She wasn't too keen on it, (no surprise), but I think maybe one day...eventually she might try it with me, at least once.

Really, I'm just looking for an alternative to normal intercourse. We're talking about having some lubricated "outercourse" to switch up from oral.

anachronistic · #14 (**permalink**) 29-12-07, 05:04 PM

Anal isn't all that great. I guess there is a first time for everything, and you only live once, though.

I have the same problem that you've got with blowjobs. They have to do it just right. It really does take practice, a girl who is just getting started at it won't be very good. You both should realize that and not be so frustrated. Also, I know orgasms are great and all, but don't let that become the focus of your sex; it will ruin it altogether.

And use lube for Christ's sake, unless your want your foreskin yanked right off.

Frasbee · #15 (**permalink**) 29-12-07, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilwing

Anal isn't all that great. I guess there is a first time for everything, and you only live once, though.

I have the same problem that you've got with blowjobs. They have to do it just right. It really does take practice, a girl who is just getting started at it won't be very good. You both should realize that and not be so frustrated. Also, I know orgasms are great and all, but don't let that become the focus of your sex; it will ruin it altogether.

And use lube for Christ's sake, unless your want your foreskin yanked right off.

We are pros at foreplay.

It's all we did for a year.