She'll break up with me if I don't f*ck her.

[Frasbee]

That's not exactly what she said, but that's what it boils down to.

We were just walkin', talkin' about sexual things, and she brought up how I said that I wasn't ready to have sex because I didn't think it was worth the risk. Basically, her question was: When do you think you'll be ready? Because when we talked before, it sounded like you wouldn't be ready to have sex until you're ready to have kids...but that wouldn't be until you've gotten married...and that'll be like in what...another 10 years?

I hadn't thought about it that way before...but she was kinda right. I just haven't thought sex was worth the risk...at all. Even after taking precautions.

"if you tell me you don't wanna have sex until like, I'm 35, and you're 31? I think I'd have to say that's a dealbreaker"

"I'd regret it if I missed out on having sex in my 20's."
"Well...you're already 25."
"Exactly!"

Ugh...so now basically...if I don't put it to this girl, she's gonna be all disgruntled.

That's so gay.

I should be excited! 3 or 4 years ago I'd be swimming in the clouds right now! My girlfriend is practically begging me to f*ck her brains out and I'm too worried about babies, and apartments, and finding a job, and the lack of 24 hour convenience stores and nerds to play videogames with.

[Only-virgins]

Why not just make love to her? Use a condom and take some risks for her. If you two really love each other than it should be an amazing experience and worth it. Condoms, when used properly seriously reduce the chance of pregnancy by so much that I wouldn't even care. So is there some other reason you don't want too? Those other problems aren't going anywhere...you should wake up to the same world after words ....just maybe one in where your girlfriend is actually happy. You two have been together for a long time now right?

OMG WTF AM I SAYING?! Keep her a virgin! cause they are disappearing and I won't find one ... why am I not OV anymore?!

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Why not just make love to her? Use a condom and take some risks for her. If you two really love each other than it should be an amazing experience and worth it. Condoms, when used properly seriously reduce the chance of pregnancy by so much that I wouldn't even care.

I can attest to this.. I've used condoms my whole life.. and never once have they broke.. not a single time.. not a rip.. not one time where i've had a call saying "I don't feel so good, I think i'm feeling sick.. can you come over.. "awkward pause".. and before you come over, do you think you can run to the pharmacy and pick up a pregnancy test.. just in case"

It's seriously never happened.. and i'm STD-free (if she's your gf, and you're both tested and clean, that's not even an issue)

Now, either i'm very lucky and I should go play the lotto (which i'm not).. or.. more likely the case.. condoms do their job and work..

But IF.. "if".. BIG "if"... if they happen to fail.. and she ends up getting pregnant.. medical advances have made it such that you can sleep easy just the "morning after".. that's right.. the morning after pill.. just let her pop them like tic-tacs (that's a joke, just take one).. and it's not an issue..

Do you guys at least have oral sex?

If you're both STD-free (get her tested, you never know! I think it's actually kind of romantic and trust-building when two people get tested together and get the results while they're next to eachother.. it adds a whole new level of comfort).. at least give the girl a good old clitorage (google it)

You have to admit.. you are being a little selfish here.. I've talked Catholic girls into having sex.. I've talked dreamer fantasy-land "i'm not having sex until I find Mr. Right, and we get married" girls into having sex.. But i'm not about to talk you into anything Fras.. Not because I don't want to see your gf happy.. but because you're a grown man.. You have the mental maturity to come to the realization that you should consider how she feels and what she needs (sexually) a little more seriously.. That a large part about loving her, is making her feel great.. and a large part of both of those, is satisfying her sexually.. (which you will do at this point even if your d*ck is made out of Jello.. she wants it really bad.. you can't possibly fcuk up.. seriously.. don't bother thinking about ways you can fcuk up.. you can't.. no way..)

[Mishanya]

Just do it dude

Babies and accidents is all in your head. Even if you are lousily careful chances something going wrong with a condom on are pretty slim.

Just do it. What's really stopping you?

the chances of pregnancy, first time round, with protection are pretty low.

[Charlie Boy II]

To be honest Frasbee, I think your refusal to have sex on the grounds of pregnancy risk is a little neuortic. If you wear condoms and she's on the pill you'd have more chance of being hit by lightning tomorrow than getting her pregnant. Any impartial doctor would tell you the same thing.

Is that the real reason you don't want to have sex? Is anything else worrying you mate?

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

Do you guys at least have oral sex?

Yeah, we've been doing that for about a year, amongst other alternative forms of sex.

I was content with it, though admittedly, it's become somewhat routine and a little boring. I dunno, I guess I just don't see what the big deal is, but maybe that's just because I've found oral to be nothing special.

I'm wondering if I should just screw her (though I don't know where I'd do that right now considering our living conditions), and be done with it for a while.

This just feels like one more thing I gotta do.

God I'm tired.

My hosts just had a big fight at 4am because Reggie came back well...at 4am, and his girlfriend and another visitor were driving around looking for him. He was supposed to be back at 12:30 from drinking with some coworkers. I had to listen to them fight, heard it right through the outside walls. I'm so tired. But now I can't sleep. I need to be up in an hour anyway.

Just one more thing I gotta do.

Either this is precisely what I need right now, or it's not.

I dunno, I'm finding it difficult to be enthused by any of this.

And yeah, Scorp, don't try to persuade me into shit. This thread was probably a mistake, I can already feel the itch of defiance and resentment creeping up on me again. So don't patronize me. It feeds something I don't like to feed.

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II

To be honest Frasbee, I think your refusal to have sex on the grounds of pregnancy risk is a little neuortic. If you wear condoms and she's on the pill you'd have more chance of being hit by lightning tomorrow than getting her pregnant. Any impartial doctor would tell you the same thing.

Is that the real reason you don't want to have sex? Is anything else worrying you mate?

I know you're right. I talked to one of my long-time on-line buddies, she's been having sex for 5 years now with not a single accident.

Amy doesn't like the idea of the pill messin' with her hormones.

Y'know, the last time I went down on her, she directed me away from her clit, to her hole. I don't usually venture down there because what I realize now was a misunderstanding from almost a year go lead me to believe she didn't like my tongue venturing in there.

Plus, whenever we're makin' out with me on top...she seems to favor my dick pressing into her crotch, so long as there's some sort of layer of clothing, often pulling me closer with her legs.

Eh.

I never thought much of it.

The idea of any sort of risk simply robbed me of my interest to do more than grind.

It's gonna take me a while, I think, to wrap my head around this shit. It sure as hell ain't gonna happen tomorrow. Er, I mean today.

Maybe I will try to go back to bed.

[vashti]

Fras, I don't know if you fall into this category or not, but many people who avoid sex do so to avoid intimacy. Is it possible you may be one of these people? I mean, you grew up in a house where intimacy seemed to be lacking. Perhaps the idea of making something different for yourself is a little intimidating.

[Charlie Boy II]

Frasbee, I've got it. You could just do her in the ass! Bang - intimacy issues gone, because there's not much intimicay in anal sex; no possibiility of pregnancy and amy can even keep her "virginity".

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II

Frasbee, I've got it. You could just do her in the ass! Bang - intimacy issues gone, because there's not much intimicay in anal sex; no possibiility of pregnancy and amy can even keep her "virginity".

I'd love to, and I've brought it up before, but she's not keen on the idea, however, not enough for her to oppose my wandering fingers.

She also doesn't care much for the idea of "virginity", anyway. Nor do I.

I would poke her once just based off principle.

-shrug-

No Vash, that's not the reason. There are no other reasons outside of simply not wanting to join population "dumbass" after having an accident. People seem to be getting fixated on trying to find something that's not there.

I'm intimate with Amy on a regular basis (i.e. cuddling).

This sucks. I started falling asleep, and now it's time for me to head out. I probably should've waited until I was at least horny before I tried to discuss this.

It's pouring like a bitch outside.

[Frasbee]

Actually, on second thought.

Stop trying to analyze me, I'm feeling defensive.

What I don't get is what my friend was telling me last night. She was tellin' me why intercourse is so great.

That's what I need to hear, what's the big deal? What makes it any better than oral? I've completely forgone the idea of sex up until now, the urge has been thoroughly crushed by my will and stubbornness.

[vashti]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

What makes it any better than oral?

You can look her in the eyes while giving her pleasure, and watch her facial expressions.

[bluesummer]

No offense Fras, and sorry to break it to you, but you DO realize this really might be a deal breaker for her? I'm not saying you should compromise your principles for someone else. Although I don't think this issue is as principle-based as it is fear-based. Just realise your lack of interest in sex, will, at some point, become a problem.

Honestly, if I heard my bf say he would 'poke me once to get it over with' I'd be hurt and offended. I would hate to think someone was having sex with me only to appease me.....and in that sense, I feel really bad for Amy.

No sex would be a deal breaker for me. Within a month.

[Charlie Boy II]

Also you're both getting pleasure at the same time. There're waves of pleasure being sent back and forth which opens the gateway to a deep sense of connection with the other person.

It won't be like that at first though. It'll most likely be stiff in awkward for a little while.