He prefers porn over sex, is this normal?

[IndiReloaded]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Can some other male confirm this? Because yeah, I find it odd, and definitey untrue in my house.

Mine too. I don't believe it either.

[misombra]

hey gskorp, you should start a thread with a poll and ask all the guys which they prefer and whether or not they're in a relationship...

[vashti]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

"All you guys" trying to "get into a woman's pants all the time"? How did you come up with that one? Either you've been around some very very desperate & low quality guys.. or you're watching too many movies and television..

Haha! Yeah, I must be making it up.

Anyway, I don't believe you, and I remember you once saying that you have ejaculatory problems. I don't think you represent the norm. Sorry.

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

hey gskorp, you should start a thread with a poll and ask all the guys which they prefer and whether or not they're in a relationship...

I have no idea how to go about starting a poll.. i'm not a computer wiz..

It depends how you ask the question.. That's a common survey downfall.. And a great way Fox News fixes survey results to reflect a personal bias on issues..

For instance.. if you ask something like.. "Which is better? Watching porn & jerking off, or having sex with that girl?" You're going to get different results.. If you ask.. "Which feels better for your penis; having a hand stroke it, or having vaginal sex?".. you will also get different results.. even if you intend to ask the same thing..

I guess it's hard for women to seperate the physical and non-physical pleasures.. Maybe some guys have a hard time doing this aswell.. When they hear "sex", maybe they throw in everything into the mix.. rather than think of just how the penis feels, and nothing else..

I guess since we have nothing better to do.. we can come up with a simple model:

Net Pleasure = Benefits - Cost

NP = (Physical Benefits + Non-Physical Benefits) - (Physical Costs - Non-Physical Costs)

Physical Benefits = Stimulation on the penis & testicles
Non-Physical Benefits = (emotional bonding, connection, expressing affection, having affection expressed to you, pleasing your partner, etc)
Physical Costs: (arm hurting, fatigue, waist hurting, other pain & discomfort)
Non-Physical Costs: (having to focus on your partner's pleasure not not being able to focus on your own)

So.. you can see how each question would yield different results.. the way the first question is phrased.. is asking about (Net Pleasure).. plug in the net pleasure from watching porn.. vs. the net pleasure from sex.. and it's pretty obvious which is the winner..

But, the second question is asking about (Physical pleasure).. and looking at that alone.. you're get a totally opposite answer.. It all depends what answer you want to hear.. and then depending on that.. how you would like to phrase the question to satisfy your need to hear such an answer..

Also notice, how physically.. blowjobs and handjobs are more enjoyable.. "all benefit.. very little cost"

It's all really simple.. but not really the appropriate thread to be talking about it.. given the issue from the OP..

[misombra]

that all equals 100% laziness. no motivation to make relationships work. no motivation to do anything but jack off to porn all day.

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Anyway, I don't believe you, and I remember you once saying that you have ejaculatory problems. I don't think you represent the norm. Sorry.

Fine.. I agree with you Vash, 100%.. I'm not a good statistic for the overall male population on this issue..

R.E. though is more frustrating because you want to finish.. but you can't.. and I think it's psychological.. mostly.. must have been the way I was raised.. with all that fear installed in me about getting someone pregnant.. and having my partents explain all the hardships that would follow if that was ever the case.. I think the first time I had sex.. that was the only thought that was on my mind.. "what if the condom breaks? what if she gets pregnant? there goes my life, it's all over.. can't let that happen"..

Making progress though.. from not being able to ever finish inside.. to being able to finish inside (that first time, I was sh*tting bricks.. I thought I got her pregnant).. But that sort of acted to bring up my confidence in the fact that it was ok.. and I guess I still have a long way to go to be completely comfortable finishing inside.. But even outside.. it takes a long time.. and that's because with all psychological factors aside.. it just feels constantly numb.. so it's only a battle that I can half-win..

Believe me.. my guy friends go on and on about how awsome it feels.. stories about how they finished like right away.. in under 2 minutes.. and yes.. unfortunately.. you're right.. that's not at all something I can relate to.. even though I want to relate to it badly.. hey.. but at least i'm working on it.. that's the most I can do I guess short of getting a new penis..

[bluesummer]

Hm. If guys really don't get off from penetration that much, then why don't they ask for handjobs or blowjobs more often? Shit, I'm always offering them to my bf, and crazy guy, he prefers to have sex with me, most of the time.

I'm going to ask him about this. I also agree about starting a thread.

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

that all equals 100% laziness. no motivation to make relationships work. no motivation to do anything but jack off to porn all day.

Mis.. I agree with you.. I really do..

Believe me.. I know people who are addicts.. I actually know someone who has unlimited internet access on his phone.. and on his bookmarks are (x-tube, youporn, pornhub, allhotgirls, etc).. Exactly..

Personally.. i've talked to some of my exes about this.. i've actually had an on/off debate about this with my ex of 3 years.. She asked me how it felt.. if it even felt good to have sex.. and I answered honestly.. "physically.. no.. it doen't really do much".. and then she asked me a more interesting question.. "then why do you even want to have sex? why is it important to you then?"

The reason is.. because physical pleasure doesn't come anywhere close to non-physical pleasure.. and sex & going down on the other person give you that.. going down on the other person though isn't so much of a "bonding activity".. so sex is very important.. and YES.. I agree 10,000% with that.. no interest in sex.. shows that the person is lazy, not considerate, and doesn't even care enough to make the relationship work..

If two people wanted physical pleasure only.. there would be no issue of condoms or birth control.. oral/manual all the way.. but sex.. has a very special role.. and even though I enjoy the other things more (physically).. that's why even I felt it very important that we have sex on a regular basis.. You can feel it bringing the two of you closer.. you can't describe it with words.. you can just feel it.. but it's a very important feeling in a relationship.. and it needs to be there.. and it can't be outweighted for physical pleasure alone..

[anachronistic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Can some other male confirm this? Because yeah, I find it odd, and definitey untrue in my house.

No, I disagree. I prefer the warm, sexy feeling of the vagina over my hand any day. What makes it even better is that my whole body is involved during sex, and thus, the feeling of a girls skin against my own is very erogenous. There's also the smell of a woman and physical cues that heighten my sexual instincts.

I think the key to enjoyable with sex is variety; not just changing positions every so often, not just being rough or hard, but also the place that you're doing it, the time, embracing or no-hands. There are so many variables, that it's logically impossible to be 'bored'.

Tell him to stop wanking and watching porn for a week. Then when Friday night rolls around, watch him **** you like a madman.

[Cain]

I definitely disagree with penetration not getting men off. When I masturbate, I don't apply ANY pressure to my shaft... it's all head focused.

And if it weren't for the fact that I won't be able to actually live with my girl (distance of 4 hours for another year), I would never masturbate.

If it is hard for you to get off during sex then maybe YOU'RE doing something wrong. Maybe you don't know how to have sex? Because I have no problem getting off over and over, multiple times a day (we have a very healthy sexual appetite).

[Asparagoose]

I think sex is better. You're touching the other person, all the sounds and faces. It's just better. I think that you can't really just look at the pleasure of the penis alone. Sexual pleasure is a combination of so many things. So much is all in your head. I've heard of guys getting off without even having their penis touched. It has to do with more than just how the penis feels. Yeah, if you're talking about how good contact on the penis feels, then I guess a girl's lips and tongue or hands would feel better. But then you can't really see her face or just feel one another like you can during sex. It has more to do with than just the penis. I think it's really hard to seperate the two and think about physical pleasure only because so much of it is how the other person makes you feel inside and how turned on you get around them.

[Illusional]

normal?? maybe he just got bored with all the stuff that you guys do. i dunno, maybe you both have tried everything that there is to try and he's just looking for another face to get him off. personally i'm a guy who likes variety and he might be the same way.

raverboy

[Cain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

normal?? maybe he just got bored with all the stuff that you guys do. i dunno, maybe you both have tried everything that there is to try and he's just looking for another face to get him off. personally i'm a guy who likes variety and he might be the same way.

raverboy

You should never have to look at another girl's face to get off. If your have to look at another girl's face to get off, then your relationship needs work.

[Illusional]

hello...?? you're preaching to the wrong person here. i used to have sex with my ex while thinking of other people.

raverboy

[Cain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

hello...?? you're preaching to the wrong person here. i used to have sex with my ex while thinking of other people.

raverboy

It's no surprise she's your ex.

What I'm saying is if someone is in a committed relationship, and claim love in that relationship, there should be no thinking of other people... you shouldn't have to look at another girl to get off.