"No strings attached"

[BillyGalbreath]

WTF is wrong with me? This is like the billionth time someone has offered herself to me and I decline. I'm the only guy I've ever heard of that can't have meaningless/casual sex. ARG!!! It's not like I dont want sex, believe me, I definitely do!

My friend I've known for YEARS (since middle school) is horny as hell today. She's single, and hasn't "gotten any" in over 3 months. We somehow got into a discussion about the two of us having sex. I was all for it up until the point were she said "but it's no string attached... got it?" Instantly I lost interest. :/

Is this normal?! WTf is wrong with me? Why can't I have casual sex with someone??? It's not like I don't know her or will never see her again... Why why why??

[vashti]

I'm having a hard time picturing this as a character flaw.

[Mishanya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyGalbreath

Is this normal?! WTf is wrong with me? Why can't I have casual sex with someone??? It's not like I don't know her or will never see her again... Why why why??

I'm having a hard time picturing this as a character flaw as well. But I will attempt to answer some of your questions, I think it might be somwhere between:

1. You don't want to ruin your friendship with this girl you've known for years. In the back of your mind you know that the friendship won't be the same afterwards.

2. You're not the kind of guy who has random meaningless sex. You don't think it's anything to brag about and you don't want to see yourself as somebody who does.

3. You're not satisffied with the "no strings" attached part. If you went for it, you'd rather go for the whole thing with this girl instead of just something random and meaningless. Maybe you want sex that has meaning and hope for the future?

We like to put a lot of value on this sex thing. Putting it up on the pedestal, doing anything we can just for a chance and a clear shot at it at times. But when it comes down to it (ussually the next day after) we suddenly remember, hey it's just sex, is it really worth all the effort and sacrifices? So what if you do it, so what if you don't, who's really keeping count? Maybe in the back of your mind those were some of the things that you've thought?

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyGalbreath

WTF is wrong with me? This is like the billionth time someone has offered herself to me and I decline. I'm the only guy I've ever heard of that can't have meaningless/casual sex. ARG!!! It's not like I dont want sex, believe me, I definitely do!

My friend I've known for YEARS (since middle school) is horny as hell today. She's single, and hasn't "gotten any" in over 3 months. We somehow got into a discussion about the two of us having sex. I was all for it up until the point were she said "but it's no string attached... got it?" Instantly I lost interest. :/

Is this normal?! WTf is wrong with me? Why can't I have casual sex with someone??? It's not like I don't know her or will never see her again... Why why why??

I feel you.., you're not alone.. but I don't think it's really a bad thing..

I guess it's being raised by parents which leads one to believe that sex is only between two people in love.. in a relationship.. and therefore.. if it's casual.. it's NOT in those things.., and therefore it's bad.. should make you feel bad.. guilty.. like a bad person.. blah blah.. basically.. socially constructed morals.. (don't worry.. I can't get over them either)

To make matters worse.., you actually feel good about yourself when you turn down such an opportunity.. like it's the noble thing to do.. like you're doing the right thing.. being a good person.. respecting her and respecting yourself..

(That will just take some working on.. if you want it to change.. you can make it change.. I personally don't want it to change.. I would feel very cheap if I engaged in no-strings-attached sex.., there must be some form of emotional connection or feelings there that motivate me to have sex.. or else as much as i'd try to deny it or rationalize against it.. I would feel like i'm being classless and unfair to the both of us.. I would like to understand how women can actually convince themselves that they're not being cheap when they engage in casual sex.. I don't understand it)

To make matters worse.., do you have R.E. by any chance?

The majority of the pleasure you're going to get from sex is emotional.., so casual sex is meaningless and pointless for you.. it's almost like a chore or favor you do for the other person.. for no reward in return.. no thanks..

Major Exception: If the person you turn down for casual sex is your "friend".., then that's pretty messed up.. It's a wonderful thing to have a close relationship with someone on a friendly level.., and be able to meet eachother's sexual needs from time to time.. It actually helps in the friendship.. (I know everyone thinks.. "oh no! that would ruin the friendship".. quite the opposite).. It's someone you have a different level of intimacy with.., not romantic.. but friendly.. Think about what it does to the friendship when you reject casual sex with a friend..

I know you probably get teased about it to no end by all your male friends.., they somehow take it to mean that you're not man enough in some way.. it's the macho thing to do to have one-night-stands and casual sex.. ideally all sex should be no-strings-attached.., but do realize what kind of a mentality this is.., this is a high school kid's mentality who is fairly new to sex.., the mentality of someone who is sexually immature.. Obviously.., you don't want to raise attention to this fact because they are still your friends.., you can instead just keep it to yourself and laugh inside you as they pass their judgement onto the choice you make..

Don't let it bother you one bit.. it shouldn't.. it's not bad in any way..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Gigabitch]

I wish a lot more people had this "wrong" with them.

[BillyGalbreath]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

To make matters worse.., do you have R.E. by any chance?

What's R.E.?

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyGalbreath

What's R.E.?

If you're asking.., you don't have it.., go give your parents a hug..

(Retarded Ejaculation)

Best,

GrkScorp

[BillyGalbreath]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

If you're asking.., you don't have it.., go give your parents a hug..

(Retarded Ejaculation)

Best,

GrkScorp

lmao! thats the second funniest thing i've heard all day. hehe

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyGalbreath

lmao! thats the second funniest thing i've heard all day. hehe

Well.., an other person's suffering is the most basic form of comedy I suppose..

[BillyGalbreath]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

Well.., an other person's suffering is the most basic form of comedy I suppose..

so sorry!

[IndiReloaded]

I hope you're kidding GS, yikes.

[vashti]

He's not.

-------------

[IndiReloaded]

Poor thing. That explains quite a bit.

[Mishanya]

Just read up on it. Sounds interesting.

And condolences.

[Illusional]

well in your defense, if something or someone is that that easy.. then why bother??

raverboy