How do I turn my gf on without removing clothes?

[Mr Wigglz]

I'm still sorta new to the whole "sex" thing and so is my gf. She is still nervise about sex and I don't want to do it unless she wants it. She always says that when it happens it will happen.
But here is my problem. It has been about 2 months since we have done it (yea I know its a long time) and I still don't know how to turn her on. I have asked her sevral times and she avoids the topic. I would love to know how to turn a woman on without removing any clothes. I have tried slowly kissing her from her neck to her lips, softly biting, playing with her hair, giving her compliments. I wouldn't mind "getting a bit more" . I think it would help release some stress between the both of us (as in work and day to day problems)...

Anyone with some tips/pointers please help... cheers

[Mr Wigglz]

We had hit a rough spot awhile ago and I had suggested that a little bit more sex would bring us closer together as it would build our trust and we can express our feelings with actions not words. Another thing is, is that she dosnt like the idea of foreplay so it is basicly makeout and then its stright to sex and then that's it. She stops me about 5 mins in like she has had enough (it makes me feel like I'm not good enough) if I turn her on she might want to go longer and she will like it just as much as me. I would love to get her to experament a little bit. I wouldn't mind getting her to do a bit of foreplay to get more feeling into it.

[misombra]

how old are you?

[Mr Wigglz]

We are both 19 but don't let our young age fool you.

[lastwish]

Kiss her from neck to her chest. Just give her little kisses everywhere. That's a huge turn on...at least in my opinion.

[vashti]

She is not enjoying sex. She is probably too inexperienced. Unfortunately, until she is able to orgasm, this is unlikely to improve. She needs to learn how to orgasm on her own before she can truly enjoy anything with you. Encourage solitary masturbation. In the meantime, study up on improving your technique. Oral sex is the most likely way to get a female to orgasm.

Be very gentle in the way you discuss sex with her. She is very likely to find your interest a violation of her privacy.

BTW - you don't build trust by having sex; most females find you need the trust to already be there in order to enjoy the sex. Same for the stress. If you are already stressed out about each other, good sex will be hard to come by.

Honestly though, it sounds like she just isn't ready for sex.

[Mr Wigglz]

When ever I try to talk about sex to her its impossible. She gets realy cranky if I say the s word. I have tried to be open about it to her. Yesterday I tried talking to her about it and she got angry about it like its against the law to talk about it.

[vashti]

She is feeling pressured by you, and resents it.

I think you should just lay off the sex all together. She isn't ready. This doesn't make her bad, nor are YOU bad for being ready. You two may just not be a match (unless you are willing to be a LOT more patient).

[Mr Wigglz]

I have given a few girls a orgasim with my fingers before but my gf won't let me use my fingers as she finds it uncomfortable. That's why I want to try and introduce foreplay and get her to orgasim without penatration (I hope I spelt that right)

[vashti]

She isn't ready.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe when your girlfriend kicks you in the balls and runs away from you forever, you'll remember the wise words of Vashti.

[Mr Wigglz]

Yea... ill just have to wait. I don't want to force her into anything she dosnt want to do

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Wigglz

Yea... ill just have to wait. I don't want to force her into anything she dosnt want to do

When a girl finds a guy interesting.., (draw a little tree diagram if it helps).., there are two options (two chains of thought) that go off in her mind.., the two are only vaguely related.., and they are..

- I want to fcuk him so badly.., like right now
- He's someone I could see myself with in the long-run (relationship)

The difference between the two? For her.., there's no difference.., that's right.., you can always transition from being the guy she wants to fcuk really badly.., into the guy she wants to be in a long-term-relationship with..., but for YOU.., the difference between the two.., is A LOT of time and $$$

Consider this.., what else can you be spending your time and $$$ on? Games? Books? Going to the gym? Hookers (which are the cheaper alternative.., they look better.., and are professionals.., so you know you're getting your money's worth.., and they're always ready)? Clothes? etc.., but you put all that aside.., you put your self-interest aside.., and choose to instead be ready to invest all of that.., and give all of that.., to an other person (her).., to see her and make her happy..

By doing that.., you've just placed yourself into the second category.., there's very little attraction in place.., instead.., here's the sad truth.., for the moment.., you're just a guy.., who does these nice things for her.., gets her all this stuff.., waits around for her for as long as she wants you to wait around for.., (you're her b*tch.., and that's alright.., because you don't have any respect for yourself.., you're comfortable with the idea of being her b*tch)

And now.., her b*tch has needs.., ugh.., how annoying.., why can't he just shut up and be a good b*tch.., him and his "needs".., and one of those needs is "sex".., eww.., how do you expect her to have sex with someone she:

1. Doesn't feel any strong attraction for?
2. Doesn't feel a strong connection towards?
3. Doesn't have enough trust and comfort in place?

To help you understand what it's like.., imagine an ugly girl.., who you don't really trust very much.., is having some drama issues.., and tells you.., the one thing that would make her happy.., is for you to take her on a date.., and blow $1,000 on her.., and kiss her.., in public.., for the whole world to see.., and take pictures of it.., and call yourself a couple for a week.., and post it all over facebook.., well.., why aren't you doing it? What's holding you back? What's making a "no.., i'm not ready to do this yet" go off in your mind? Think about that..

More importantly.., think about how you would feel like.., if this girl came up to you every day and kept raising the issue.., PLEASE.., PLEASE.., PLEASE.., PLEASE.., here.., i'll do your homework.., here.., i'll buy you candy.., here.., i'll do this for you.., that for you.., just give me that one little thing.., (does it make you change your mind at all? no).., how frustrating do you think it gets after a couple of times that she raises the issue? How uncomfortable do you think you would feel now if she's constantly bringing up the issue? Do you think the more she brings it up.., the more comfortable you'll become with the idea? Do you think the more she does for you.., the more open you'll become with the idea? No.. think about that..

Then.., how could we change this situation around a little bit.., to not just make you open to the idea of "doing her the favor" of satisfying her request.., but actually "motivating you on your own.., by your own free will.., to want to give her all that.., without her even having to bring it up".., Perhaps if she was a knockout 10.., really cute and feminine.., playful and happy.., childish but smart.., would that change anything? I wager it would..

Well then.., imagine for a second.., that in her eyes.., you were ridiculously attractive.., you were this gorgeous 10.., strong and masculine.., funny and fun to be around.., interesting yet silly and casual all at the same time.., Would that change anything? Let's say that you were the kind of guy.., who didn't wait around in the mall for 4 hours.., when she told you she would only need 15 minutes.., let's say you were the type of guy.., who would tease her sexually.., and then pull away.., not even bother pushing for sex.., just tease her.., get her aroused.., and then leave her.., with the thought still stuck in her mind.., with her primal urge left unsatisfied.., would things be any different? I wager they would be..

I actually have to leave right now.., but situations like your bring tears to my eyes.., i'll post more about how to be that 10.., when I get back.., till then..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Mr Wigglz]

It had been a few months since I had last talked about it. I just wanted to talk about it in a nice convo with no fighting or anything.

When I have power I go crazy and fcuk everything up which I intended to be good. I'm the kinda of guy who sits back and let things go there own way. Atm I'm trying to change myself in a big way. I'm trying to be a man. To applogize about all the bad things I have done and take the punishment. I'm trying to change my lifstyle. But there is one thing I don't want to change and that is my girlfriend... I truly love her. I would do anything for her (yes you can class me as her b!tch but I'm happy with that) we both have been treated like shit all our lives. I want to give her somthing she never had... a friend, a lover, somone to talk to and if she wants to boss me around its fine with me becuse I'm used to it (childhood bullying... I'm the class A underdog of the world) I have told her that I am devoting my life to make her happy. I'm proud that I am thinking of someone eles other then myself. I used to be a selfish uptight basterd. I wouldn't even give 1 lousy doller to someone who needed it. I'm happy that I'm making a change to at least 1 person. And its the person I love

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Wigglz

Yea... ill just have to wait. I don't want to force her into anything she dosnt want to do

It's not that you don't want to force her, you just don't wanna deal with the consequences of rape.

She's a lost 'cause, go find somebody who's willing.