High standards! - Love Forum

Bryan · #1 (**permalink**) 10-05-04, 09:42 AM

It's a curse! I'm a very sensitive guy, which is not to say I don't like sports or computers. I'd say it has more to do with me trying to be non biased on most things, understanding people with different points of view then mine and such. Part of the curse of being a sensitive guy is being very critical of yourself. I have extremely high standards for women, I think too high. I have had like 20 women ask me out over the years, I think I probably rejected every single one of them. And ok, I KNOW THIS IS A BAD THING. Its shallow and selfish. Someone called me on it the other day at school, she asked why I didnt want to go out with her. I made up some bullshit exuse like, I'm too busy playing video games or something. But it made me realize that this character flaw would only act as a deterint in the long run. When I see a decent looking guy going out with a tank of a woman I just wonder why hes going out with her. It's so strange to me that I'm cursed by my own high standards. I want friends and a girl friend but, I seem to reject everyone who wants to come into my life. I don't want to go out with someone I'm not attracted to, but I dont want to be lonely like I am now either.
Even with guys, I have high standards. Although after a while my prejudice of them due to their outwards apearance fades when I get to know them. But with guys I dont have to be attracted to them to be their friend. Girls pose a big problem to me, a girl could be like an 8 out of 10 in looks and I probably wouldn't be attracted to them. The only girls I have ever gone out with have been very good looking. But their few and far in between and at this point in my life the lack of contact with anybody my own age is depressing me greatly... Does anyone have any advice to clear any of my problems up.

Clifton · #2 (**permalink**) 10-05-04, 06:56 PM

maybe your gay?

Bryan · #3 (**permalink**) 11-05-04, 05:09 AM

Lol I highly doubt it!

Bryan

Illusional · #4 (**permalink**) 11-05-04, 09:50 AM

well.. i feel where you are comming from. i feel the same way. i don't think that i'm conceited or anything, however i am very picky. i feel that if you're going to be with someone for a very long period of time, of course the physical attraction is the first thing that i would take notice of. however, if i'm am going to be with someone, i want the full package deal. the looks and the personality. sure bryan, you have to give and take, that is where you're losing out. you're all about taking, you, you you. girls are probably interested in you, but you're not willing to give them the time of day unless they meet certain requirement. you might want to try changing your outlook and toning it down a bit, then take it from there. raverboy

Exodus · #5 (**permalink**) 11-05-04, 10:53 AM

I'd say you have 2 main options, you could either a) wait till someone comes along that is to your standards, and then try to get her, and you'll probably be waiting a while, but it'd be well worth it if you could find that one person. Or b) Take a look inside and see if you really think its worth waiting for the all around "perfect" person or if you could be perfectly happy with somone who is near perfect.

sfalexi · #6 (**permalink**) 12-05-04, 12:08 AM

As for me, I personally don't think anything is wrong with you. Why get yourself in a relationship that you're not gonna be happy with seeing the girl daily? You have to weigh whether it's worth waiting however long it'll be or not. I have fairly high standards myself. I look for a lot of things in a girl that I'm going to call a girlfriend. Sometimes though, someone will come along that doesn't fit my usual 'description' of a girl that I would normally consider, but something about them intrigues me and makes me want to get to know them anyway.

As for YOUR situation, why should you settle for second or third best? How would YOU feel if you were dating some girl and found out that they were using you and didn't think you were good enough but just wanted to kill time or hang out with someone? Probably not too good. So just hold off until you think you find someone that you want to ask out. But if it's taking THIS long to find that person, make sure you actually ASK THEM OUT and don't sit back and watch them go by.

Alexi

Clifton · #7 (**permalink**) 12-05-04, 01:47 AM

hes obviously gay and just doenst know it yet. sorry to be the one to tell you bryan

Clifton · #8 (**permalink**) 12-05-04, 01:51 AM

for example "I'm a very sensitive guy" GAY

more "Part of the curse of being a sensitive guy is being very critical of yourself. I have extremely high standards for women, I think too high. I have had like 20 women ask me out over the years, I think I probably rejected every single one of them"
um not 1 outof 20 women was even remotley attractive? sorry, GAY

hrmm "When I see a decent looking guy going out with a tank of a woman I just wonder why hes going out with her. " notice the focus is on HIM not her- GAY

yet again "Even with guys, I have high standards. Although after a while my prejudice of them due to their outwards apearance fades when I get to know them"

sorry dude, OBVIOUSLY your a homosexual, that sucks for you, you'll never appriciate the beauty of a woman, nothing in this world is more fantastic than that.

Clifton · #9 (**permalink**) 12-05-04, 01:54 AM

and if for some reason you really arent gay, then your not sensative at all, what you would be is a SHALLOW person, not only that you would have IMPOSSIBLE standards set by television, in which case ITS GOOD THAT U REJECT WOMEN, because any idiot who cant see that beauty is not 1 single look, and that imperfections and difrences are the things you treasure about someones appearance after youve been with her for a long time, your either ONE or the other though, so which is it?

SHALLOW OR GAY?

i find that you would hafto be extremely confused to be THAT shallow, so thats why i assume your a homosexual.

Exodus · #10 (**permalink**) 12-05-04, 07:35 AM

interesting point of view outline... lol

Breezy18 · #11 (**permalink**) 12-05-04, 10:04 AM

LMAO!!! Damn outline, sometimes you can be so harsh! lol I mean, my goodness!!! lol lol

I have a question. If you wait for someone to come along who 'fits' your standards, which as Exodus said could be a while, depending on your pickiness, what happens if she doesn't want to go out with you? That's the trouble with love isn't it? Finding someone you are enamoured with who truly adores you as well? Love is such an enigma.

Illusional · #12 (**permalink**) 12-05-04, 01:49 PM

well... sometimes you're looking in the wrong places. the last relationship i was in, i wasn't looking for a gf. i wasn't looking for anything at long, just a friendly lunch. i thought this girl wasn't attractive, however she was really cool and it was fun to cruz with her. and before i knew it, i was attracted to her, physically and mentally. sometimes you can't always judge a person by their looks because for the most part, all the girls that i are interested in a first basis that are based on looks, it never works out. there are times that you have to quit being shallow and actually get to know a person without any intensions to really see what you are looking for. raverboy

Clifton · #13 (**permalink**) 13-05-04, 11:53 PM

yeah im an asshole :/ oh well, id rather be an asshole and honest, than phoney and likeable. cause of that i havent made any new friends in years aside from girls, but at the sme time have a closenit group of REAL friends who i can trust with my life if it comes to it. i dont know-my opinions are generally honest and to the point though.

Clifton · #14 (**permalink**) 13-05-04, 11:54 PM

i can be a real sweetheart though, if you knew me in real life you'd probly see that

Illusional · #15 (**permalink**) 14-05-04, 09:10 AM

well that is true. i would rather be honest and upfront, rather then lie to your face telling you what a great person you are. honesty can hurt, but in the long run it does a person better. raverboy