oral sex issue... - Love Forum

simple · #1 (**permalink**) 01-06-04, 02:24 PM

Ok, not sure how many guys are like this but, im 19 and never had oral sex. I've gone down on my current girlfriend proably 4 times or so, she loves it so every now and then i do it to keep her happy... buttt-- shes not really ever gone down on me.

Before we started dating, i told her i never wanted her to do such a thing for one reason - her ex boyfriend always begged her to do it and to say the least she hated it and him. Also, i never want her to do something she doesnt want to do and I never wanted her to put me in the same categorie as him. One time, she said she wanted to do it for me and i said no over and over again, finally it was to much and i let her do it -- 30 seconds into it, i asked her to stop. I was all upset about it. I didnt want to lose her love to say the least, but her trust, caring and the fact that i wanted to be the last thing but demanding of her. I thought she was gonna think i was a liar. That i was saying all that stuff to get her and now i was gonna use her for whatever i wanted. I Love this girl to death and if it means that she cant go down on me because i would lose her, well then f**k it i wont get one.

Heres the problem. It's gotten my curious, i want to know what its like and how it feels. She told me last night she wants to do it for me, that she cares about me and if it makes me happy then she wants to. But again, i dont know the after effect. I dont want her to hate me or think i am a liar. I dont want things to change between us. We live together, we spend a ton of time together, shes my bestfriend on top of being my girlfriend and my love. What if i like it and she doesnt wanna do it? What if she hates me afterwards? Theres so many things that might happen. What do you all think?

Zekk_T_Strife · #2 (**permalink**) 01-06-04, 05:35 PM

Firstly she won't hate you afterwards. If she is the one saying she wants to do it then she's already made the decision that you're worth it and doesn't associate you with the jerk she was with before. Not only that but it's something you want. If you deny that you aren't being honest with yourself and therefore not being entirely honest in the relationship. Just let things happen how you both want. You aren't begging or even asking her to do it, so if she wants to let it fly and enjoy it.

Clifton · #3 (**permalink**) 01-06-04, 07:46 PM

yeah, she WANTS to do it for you, this is not a bad thing, just like you WANT to give her head too, just let it roll man, if anything she might get offended that you DONT let her do it, because she wants to

F1fever · #4 (**permalink**) 04-06-04, 04:24 AM

Just make sure she know's it's not an "expected" and go with it.... if it happens then don't fight it. If you fight too much she may get the impression that something else is wrong (like your not enjoying other things) and lose confidence. If your curious and she seriously wants too (for this you need a fully clothed converstaion) then give it a go... if your still not comfortable then don't go back there, but be open and talk!

CArl
xxx

simple · #5 (**permalink**) 04-06-04, 02:28 PM

well, it came up in conversation tonight and we talked about it. the whole thing was that ive only had 2 girlfriends in my life, my first lasted me from when i was about 14 till i was 18... and my current for about 7 months... i never wanted to "degrade" them. I always wanted them to feel as if i cared enough that i didnt want them to do something they didnt want to, and i did care that much. But whatever, for now she says she wants to, we'll see where that goes

thanks guys

Zekk_T_Strife · #6 (**permalink**) 04-06-04, 02:29 PM

Don't think of oral sex as degrading. Here's how I look at it. Oral sex is something that someone does and recieves no pleasure in return, its all for the other person. That's not degrading, that's someone caring about someone else enough to simply give of themselves to see the other person pleased. It's a beautiful feeling. To me, the feeling that this person cares about me so much feels better than the physical feeling of the act itself.

SeeGirLdRiFT · #7 (**permalink**) 20-06-04, 12:06 PM

Coming from a female perspective, oral sex isn't degrading, it's tight... cos u feel really good about yourself after u finish the job... especially if u know if ur partner likes it. Dude, you're hella young, i mean, if u dont want her to do it.. i'm sure someday you'll meet someone else and she/he will do it for ya and u wont feel bad about it. It's her choice to do it anyways so yea... dont be a pu$$y. its really not that big of a deal. haha... pardon the pun. haha. tiiiight. Oh yea, just dont kiss her right after u finish, **listerine**