i think the general idea is to critique the thought, not the poster. this is standard practice in most forums i have seen?
so, i agree having unprotected sex is reckless and a dangerous mistake. i think it is best to focus on the mistaken advice rather than introducing any personal conflict, as that just confuses and inflames the issue.
i'm going to assume in advance i will likely be uneducated on some topics that come up; i know very little about learning disorders, for example, and might make mistakes in how i talk about them. i hope when that happens, when i goof, someone will just correct me in an impersonal way.
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anyway, for the first poster: my first b/f once had this problem too. it was psychological for him - he was raised catholic and for some reason was more disconcerted by the condom than by the pre-marital sex. here's what we did:
1. i just would not sleep with him until he sorted it out. not in a bitchy way, just in a firm and clear way.
2. this is going to sound odd - he just wrote about condoms; about what they represented to him and why. he also saw them as a barrior to intimacy; an extended pause in the 'action'. we fixed this by having me go down on him while he had the condom on.
3. we made condoms more fun - they have all kinds of <still safe> fun novelty condoms, and somehow they just lightened the mood. sex was then more about fun than performance, and this helped a *lot.* we also made kind of a study of the history of contraception; it's pretty cool.
4. finally, know you are doing a great thing by using that condom. lots of women are effected aversely by the pill/iuds, so it's really damn cool that you are so responsible. you've got the makings of a great lover, stud!
good luck! let us know how it goes!
have a good nite everyone...
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