Originally Posted by
misombra 
i think you should just tell her. we women don't really like the manipulative, passive-agressive behavior.
yeah.. that's because women don't like competition..
anyway.. all jokes aside.. communicate.. been together for 5 months, and you've had sex.. GREAT.. I know what you're worried about.. "it's only been 5 months, I don't really know if I should bring this up with her right now, it's kind of weird, maybe I should wait.. blah blah.."
before we explore the possible reasons, just remember this.. you're going to have to sit her down, and talk about it.. no beating around the bush, but without accusing her either..
so.. possible reasons for what seems like a decline in her sexual desire for you?
1. You've established a ritual. Really? when? well, the moment you started taking over the role of initiating sex all the time.. at first sexually, things were unknown and mysterious between the two of you.. but by now, she pretty much knows how to get you to initiate sex, or just simply waits for you to initiate sex.. because it's easier to wait than to do it yourself.. so she's gotten comfortable with being lazy and waiting for you to initiate sex all the time..
2. You haven't yet realized that LEOs aren't the best sign in the Zodiac when it comes to sex.. that's SCORPIO's department. What do I mean? maybe you FEEL or THINK that you're blowing her mind away, but in reality, the pleasure you're giving her is average.. NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE A BAD LOVER! simply because there's weak communication between the two of you.. because she's not sexually open, she doesn't want to tell you what to do.. So, as a result.. everytime she thinks "sex".. she thinks about that "mildly enjoyable time, to which she might reach on ok-ish orgasm, or not reach one at all and perhaps have to fake it so you don't feel bad".. (btw; just feel the muscle contractions on the involuntary muscle groups; if they're not contracting, she's not really having an orgasm.. if you catch her doing this and confront her about it.. her typical excuse should be.. oh, well it feels like an orgasm, it still feels really good though.. don't buy it or settle for that.. you should'nt be happy with having your partner tell you "it still feels really good".. that's just her being polite.. instead you want the hear something like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH.. MMMMMMMMMM.. OOOOOHHHHH!! shivers all over the bed or wherever it is you do it.. she'll almost want to push you away because the pleasure is too much to handle.. THAT's the reaction you want.. you shouldn't have to have her TELL you how it felt..)
3. School/Work/Herself.. Now, school and work are easy to trace.. and yes, stress doesn't do wonders for your sex drive.. unless it's the stress you get from school.. man.. back in college I could repopulate all of South America if you left me with the Amazon tribe.. but.. the other thing could be her perception of herself.. maybe she feels her boobs are not big or nice enough, her butt is too big or not shaped well, or that she's too fat.. THAT WOULD KILL HER SEX DRIVE? yeah.. I know what you're thinking.. "wouldn't matter to me".. and that's because you're a guy.. but it matters a great deal to women.. if they don't feel comfortable with themselves.. if they don't feel attractive and sexy.. then it's a turn-off.. for THEM! it's almost like they're telling themselves "I can't have sex looking like this!".. crazy? let's just leave it at that.. lol
so.. solutions? well.. yeah.. there's the same solution to all of them.. lucky for you.. : ) what is it? TALK TO HER ABOUT IT!
blah blah.. I want to talk about something.. blah blah blah.. (lead into conversation about your sex life).. blah blah..
"I was thinking, how great it must feel to feel wanted all the time, to know that I want you, and that I always initiate sex between us.. I mean, does it feel good knowing that? (her: yeah..).. well, have you ever bothered to ask yourself how "I" feel? Because ok, I don't mind initiating sex all the time, or wanting to have sex with you, because I do.. but.. it just feels like i'm initiating sex ALL the time, like i'm the only one who wants it.. and it just feels like "i'm" the only one in the mood for sex.. like you don't even want me.. (it helps if you add this bit of magic: "I think that's very selfish of you").."
blah blah..
"I mean, is there something you want me to do that i'm not doing? I don't know what you're shy about, we're having sex, what are you afraid or shy about? saying the words penis/vagina? we're not in the 4th grade.. Vagina Vagina Vagina.. Penis Penis Penis.. say it.. go ahead.. say it.. (wait for her to say them.. it really helps.. it breaks down boundry/conservative prick issues).. Do you feel like there's something you want me to do, during or before sex, or just in general, that i'm not doing? please, tell me.. I want to know.. i'm telling you I want to know, and I want to do it, but I just want us to be able to tell eachother.. so please.. tell me.. what am I not doing enough of? (enough of: important little add on.. women are polite.. HUGE boundry issues.. so she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and all that crap.. so instead she'll deny or beat around the bush until you quit having sex alltogether.. by adding this, you're giving her the option to imply that nothing is wrong with you, but it would help if you would do something you're already doing.. a little bit more often)"
blah blah blah.. time for the grande' finale'
"I don't know how you feel about sex, or what you think sex means to you.. but I want to let you know what it means to me.. I'm a guy, so pink "I love you" cards, roses, walks in the park, remembering what I said, and all that stuff, means almost nothing to me as a guy.. not that it's meaningless.. but I don't feel that that's a way to show the love you feel for the other person the way you feel those things are.. And let's face it, girls are just better at expressing emotions.. that's not exactly what nature made guys to do.. but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.. I do love you.. I love you to death.. and the way I feel I best express that is through sex.. that's what sex is for me.. expressing exactly that.. making you happy, showing you how much I love you.. doing everything I can to have you feel great.. But everytime you don't bother to show that same interest, or desire, or even initiate sex once in a while.. I feel like you don't love me, or you don't show me that love.. I mean, guys and girls work differently.. I get that.. but I'm affectionate with you, romantic, I remember all the little things, etc.. So I do my best to make you feel loved in a way YOU want to feel loved.. all i'm asking is that you realize that it's not about the SEX.. it's not about the physical act.. it's about what sex means to me.."
blah blah blah.. (it's a pretty heavy-duty conversation.. I like to end off serious conversations with a joke.. an appropriate joke during this occasion would be something like).. "i'm really glad we talked about this; even though I was sort of hoping for a (so, do you wanna have sex?).. lol.. smile and laugh.. make her know it was a joke.." but it's important you make the joke.. because you're also implanting the idea in her mind.. to start initiating sex more often..
so; all of this put together in conversation should solve the problem.. again.. be relaxed.. open.. not DON'T ATTACK her! it's a constructive conversation.. I know you're frustrated sexually.. but you want her conservative-girly-self to open up those gates and take off that armor to hear what you have to say.. or else, she'll simply be on the defensive and it'll be a waste of your time and effort.. so be tactful about your delivery of the speech..
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