What compels someone into a one-night stand? - Love Forum

daehehtnidekcuF · #1 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 05:34 AM

Or I guess I should ask more correctly what compels someone to sleep with another persons within hours of meeting that someone for the first time?

I have a friend, he is nothing special, (I am male, so is he, I don’t judge males that well) yet he can go into any given social situation, and be it a bar, club, private party or whatnot, end up hooking up with a female and usually a nice looking female to boot at the mere drop of a hat!

WTF is that?

I usually get drafted as the designated thinker for alcoholic outing with my buds so I get to see this first hand almost on a weekly basis. He has no steady girl friend and doesn’t want one either, according to him.

He doesn’t embellish his tales when wooing the lady and he usually spends time right at our table with them, maybe he’ll hit the dance floor once or twice with them. Sometimes we end up heading out for a late dinner or a pizza.

On one occasion he went home with the designated driver of a group of females and guess who was volunteered to take home (now double the car load) of intoxicated party goers, half of whom I didn’t even know names.

Maybe I should quit being Mr. Nice Guy, and leave’em all at the bus station next time.

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 05:57 AM

women like it when men talk to them and pay attention to them. he doesn't want a relationship so he's probably not very over bearing. he's probably easy going too. i've done a few one nighters in my time, usually it happns with men with the afformentioned qualities.

Clifton · #3 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 07:45 AM

dude is this a joke, how old are you? your jealous of your friend for getting pussy, why dont you stop hating on him for having fun and go get some yourself dude, its sad that you even call him a friend, if the situation was reversed, wouldnt you want your friend to be there for you? jesus christ what is wrong with people- no wonder ive only had 5 male friends in the last 10 years. your all ****ing punk bitches, who dont know shit about being loyal and being there for your homeboy. my friends will die for me, and you cant even drive a crowded car of drunks home for someone you call a friend? gimme a ****ing break.

Clifton · #4 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 07:46 AM

and just so you know, misombra is right, you get one night stands by not expecting anything more than one night stands, and by knowing you can get them. ive said it before 90% of girls will **** you the first day you meet them, and i stand by this statement, or understatement, as it may be.

daehehtnidekcuF · #5 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 08:00 AM

Clifton,

I realize you are just giving me advice and yes that is what I expected from the general crowd, and I do appreciate you chiming in bro.

To answer your questions,

I’m 33

I’m not jealous; I’m venting hence the “WTF” …

Quote:

its sad that you even call him a friend, if the situation was reversed, wouldn’t you want your friend to be there for you?

This I do take issue with, yes he is my friend we served together, through some of the roughest times one cam imagines… ever been in combat Clifton? Bonds form in times such as those that nothing will ever overcome.

Quote:

your all ****ing punk bitches, who don’t know shit about being loyal and being there for your homeboy.

I’ve got a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star, which says, different. Loyalty? Risk your ****ing life for a friend take a round for him then we’ll talk about loyalty.

Quote:

my friends will die for me,

Good to know, so would mine and so would I, in fact I almost did.

Semper Fidelis from a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom
3rd Battalion, 6th Marines, 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit,

Nice Lover Boy · #6 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 08:23 AM

Hey, in my prime I'd do the same thing and get anyone I wanted. Usually it would happen at work or from a friend of a friend. At a bar or at a club, I would talk to them and talk about the sexual terms. Then the next thing you know, I was lying on a bed with that same girl on top of me. Whait a minute, in my prime, I'm 23 and I started my days at 21. But now, no more one nighters or flings with married women, I'm looking for love and willing to give love a chance.

Sine-Nomine · #7 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daehehtnidekcuF

Clifton,

I realize you are just giving me advice and yes that is what I expected from the general crowd, and I do appreciate you chiming in bro.

To answer your questions,

I’m 33

I’m not jealous; I’m venting hence the “WTF” …

This I do take issue with, yes he is my friend we served together, through some of the roughest times one cam imagines… ever been in combat Clifton? Bonds form in times such as those that nothing will ever overcome.

I’ve got a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star, which says, different. Loyalty? Risk your ****ing life for a friend take a round for him then we’ll talk about loyalty.

Good to know, so would mine and so would I, in fact I almost did.

Semper Fidelis from a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom
3rd Battalion, 6th Marines, 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit,

Boo-****ing-ya.

-Shea

misombra · #8 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 10:45 AM

maybe you are just not the one night stand type. do you want one night stands, or do you want a relationship? maybe if you figure out what you want you can work toward it.

Clifton · #9 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 03:30 PM

eh, thats doing your job, and in any case, YES your ****ing jealous, maybe you dont want to admit it, your hating on your friend for getting pussy, and no ive not been in combat, i disagree with it all together, but just cause YOUVE been through combat with someone, and almost died for them does not mean your their friend, obviously your actions show otherwise, and ive been stabbed for a friend, been in countless fights where the only reason to fight was to be there for my homeboy, that close enough?

bottom line, i give a **** what you went through with him. YOUR NOT HIS FRIEND.

your talking shit about him behind his back because he gets something you do not, what a great friend? **** off.

Clifton · #10 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 03:42 PM

oh btw, what war were you in? and to directly answer your question, "what compels someone into a one-night stand" a single word answer, fun, should suffice.

Illusional · #11 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 04:41 PM

whoa..the testosterone is really in this room. to settle things between you two little girls before it really gets out of hand (althought i kinda wanna see another fight). mainly cliffand dae.. people look at sex very differently as you two clearly display. from cliff's side, you think that it's all about the boys. bros before hoes and what not. on dae's side, he looks at sex from a loving, and bonding point of view. i can see where both of you are comming from because i have been on both sides of the fence. i have friends that think at both ends of the spectrum also.

when i was your age cliff, all i could think about was sex, sex, and more sex.. did i mention that i thought about sex?? i had my one night stand, yet that was it. i think it was actually a good thing because i learned never to have it again. cliff, you'll later see this in life.. your friends will slowly disappear. not to a point where they will forget you because friends are for life, but you'll notice when you get into a solid relationship, it will all be about the girl and your friends will come second to your future wife.

and as for dae... your friend is still in his stage when he's not ready to settle down. he doesn't really wanna look at his future when he's with that one girl who can tame this breast. later that day will come. him and cliff both probably share the same ideas during this point of life. there is nothing wrong with it, you just see things from a different angle.

and this is totally off subject, but **** bush. he has my friends up in iraq right now.. placing the bonds of my friends to a test.

now kiss, give each other a hug, and make up. there there now.

raverboy

Clifton · #12 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 09:30 PM

Illusional: i may only be 21, but ive expirienced alot more than the average person my age, infact, ive been at that point, as have my friends (my best friend is 25 and has 2 children, i have one on the way possibly, the girl i was engaged to for 8months, before i started sleeping around like i did when i was younger again.) as for my friends, none of them live here, we all stay in contact with each other though, and see each other now and then- they are at this point people i love and trust, and anytime we need each other, we are here for each other, im moving in with my homeboy (the one with 2 kids) after christmas, for a couple months, because he needs someone there thats familiar. as for future wife- my last 2 serious relationships have left a sour taste in my mouth, and i have WAY too much shit on my plate right now, to willingly give myself the stress of a relationship that is anything more than fun. So, for at the minimum (short of a miracle happening and me meeting some amazing girl that i cant hold back with) i wont be persueing any relationships for the next 5 years.

I just want to conclude with, i realize the positive aspects of being with 1 girl, it can be great, but ive also realized, no girl at my age, is going to be able to commit, and that is something that i can avoid altogether by not going past the 'fun' part of the relationship, most girls my age just want to party and **** anyway. i dont party anymore..much..but your right, im 21, not only that, im a scorpio, i have a huge sexdrive...so me being cellebate for 5 years is not going to happen.

And, i agree, **** bush. "i dont wana wake up to a bomb in my backyard, mr.president quit talkin for me."

joe schmoe · #13 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 09:56 PM

i see this thread has become somewhat political and i would like to chip in my two pence worth:

**** Tony Blair, I don't want to follow the americans blindly into everything, if America want to be the worlds policeman let them, you do us no favours being a lap dog to an imbecile like bush...

sorry just felt like getting that out of my system, let normal service resume.....

joe schmoe · #14 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 10:05 PM

oh yeah - in answer to the original question, you shouldn't gripe about your buddy scoring chicks, you wanna relax and get on with it yourself, a dogs pretty good at hunting but a pack is better.......

daehehtnidekcuF · #15 (**permalink**) 08-12-04, 01:55 AM

Geeesh…

Tough crowd should have said it in my original post but I have asked my friend this very same question, so I’m not going behind his back, beyond the fact that I have post here.

The world and as a direct product the Internet is full of people from all walks of life and therefore all political persuasions and opinions, I respect that.