Need Mature Female Advice Please - Love Forum

scookie_1970 · #1 (**permalink**) 07-06-03, 03:35 AM

I normally don't date people I work with. However, I recently went on a date with a beautiful, intelligent, and level-headed (I thought) woman that I met at a reception. We went out to dinner and returned to my apartment and talked for about an hour or so. We kissed on my couch for a while and things started to get heavy. She started to perform oral sex on me. After a while, I asked her if I could finish in her mouth. She stopped and looked upset and hurt. I tried to ask her what was wrong and if I had said something inappropriate. She wouldn't discuss it and asked to be driven home, which I did. I tried to kiss her goodnight but I received a turned cheek. I haven't called her yet and am perplexed as to what I should do.

Should I have not asked her about 'finishing' in her mouth? Should I have just done it and not asked her first? Does she think that I treated her like a 'dirty girl'? I would like to call her and clear things up because I'm going to see her in the halls. Have you ever been in a similar situation or could you offer me some advice. This isn't an issue I would ask my female friends about.

Thanks!

Illusional · #2 (**permalink**) 07-06-03, 03:41 PM

my only guess is that you were probably too demanding, she was giving you a favor and then you pushed it furture to ask for more. maybe you should have let her do her thang and see what the outcome was. however i suggest that you talk to her soon because you don't want to give her the impression that you don't care for her. raverboy

Sparky · #3 (**permalink**) 07-06-03, 06:36 PM

I wonder what she was planning to do when you started to come?

It seems like an odd reaction to me, i may not be a female but you should deffinately call her and talk things through!

ViSionS · #4 (**permalink**) 11-06-03, 03:38 AM

My impression of the situation, is she wanted to have have sex with you, and became hurt because she was probably using the oral sex as a form of foreplay. Even though you probably didn't mean it, she probably took it as "all he want's to do is bust a nut and send me on my way." I personaly woule neither ask, nor expect a girl to bring me to orgasm through oral sex before I made sure she was good and pleased herself. Unless it's one of those special occasions where she just want's to please you cause it's an aniversery, or she just thinks the world of you because you treat her so well, i would'nt even hint that you want anything more than oral foreplay, at least until she is good and satisfied. Just put yourself in her shoes, kowing that men have a hard time having decent sex again following orgazm, how she might have felt when your actions basically told her, to put it bluntly, "get me off and then I'll call ya later." Maybe if you sit down and talk to her, and ask her about this, and explain that wasn't your intention, and apologise, hopefully she will understand, and then the best part comes up: MAKEUP SEX!!!
HEHE

ViSionS

Oh, I missed the part about the two ofyou had just started dating. In that case, definately apologize to her, and explain that you weren't thinking when you asked her to do that. Show her a token of some sort, like asking if she will go out to dinner with you again, your treat, and tell her if for no other reason that you feel bad about what happened and want to make it up to her. Take her to a nice restaurant, but most important make sure she realizes that you now know what it was you did wrong. Belive me, a lot of the time it's good to drop your pride, and do what's right. And don't take offence to this, but if you are getting that much from a girl on a first date (hopefully because she realy likes you and not cause she's a whore) I wouldn't push for anything else. If I'm interested in a girl, yeah I try to kiss on the first date, but I will tactfully decline sex, especially if I think there might be a chance of a relationship with them.

ViSionS

hehe there's one of my long posts again.

intrigued · #5 (**permalink**) 29-06-03, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ViSionS
My impression of the situation, is she wanted to have have sex with you, and became hurt because she was probably using the oral sex as a form of foreplay. Even though you probably didn't mean it, she probably took it as "all he want's to do is bust a nut and send me on my way." I personaly woule neither ask, nor expect a girl to bring me to orgasm through oral sex before I made sure she was good and pleased herself. Unless it's one of those special occasions where she just want's to please you cause it's an aniversery, or she just thinks the world of you because you treat her so well, i would'nt even hint that you want anything more than oral foreplay, at least until she is good and satisfied. Just put yourself in her shoes, kowing that men have a hard time having decent sex again following orgazm, how she might have felt when your actions basically told her, to put it bluntly, "get me off and then I'll call ya later." Maybe if you sit down and talk to her, and ask her about this, and explain that wasn't your intention, and apologise, hopefully she will understand, and then the best part comes up: MAKEUP SEX!!!
HEHE

ViSionS

Oh, I missed the part about the two ofyou had just started dating. In that case, definately apologize to her, and explain that you weren't thinking when you asked her to do that. Show her a token of some sort, like asking if she will go out to dinner with you again, your treat, and tell her if for no other reason that you feel bad about what happened and want to make it up to her. Take her to a nice restaurant, but most important make sure she realizes that you now know what it was you did wrong. Belive me, a lot of the time it's good to drop your pride, and do what's right. And don't take offence to this, but if you are getting that much from a girl on a first date (hopefully because she realy likes you and not cause she's a whore) I wouldn't push for anything else. If I'm interested in a girl, yeah I try to kiss on the first date, but I will tactfully decline sex, especially if I think there might be a chance of a relationship with them.

ViSionS

hehe there's one of my long posts again.

Though I realize I'm a little late.....

Very nice response.
I got the same impression you did. Why else would his question bother her, if his orgasm through oral was not what she had in mind?

She was awfully bold for a first date, I can't help but believe she wanted more.

shafkore · #6 (**permalink**) 30-06-03, 05:30 AM

Wow. I never thought of Visions point of view. Wow wow wow. That makes so much sense too. Shit man, good job. lols.

Scookie, one thing though. If I was you, I would tell her you were planning on satisfying her aswell. Tell her you had a couple of nuts to bust. Tell her, by orgasming once before sex, you would last longer --- therefore PLEASING her more. Show her that your concern was about her pleasure. Not yours.

I think that would be a cheaper (lols) way to clear it up. That way she will see she over-reacted.

bella72 · #7 (**permalink**) 25-07-03, 03:09 PM

wow everyone seem to think this girl just wanted sex and was pissed she wasnt gonna get it. I really think she was offended by your request. Most of the girls i know including me would feel dirty and used if asked to do that. Girls hate when guys are demanding especially when they are not getting pleased back. I think that if she wanted it in her mouth and you shouldnt request until you guys are completely comfortable talking about it.

My suggestion..Call her and tell her your sorry and you really wanna talk about it, if you dont call she'll thinkyou dont want anything to do wihther because she wouldt give it up, you dont want to be perceived in that way. Invite her to dinner and somewhere you can talk about it..tell her your sorry and want to take it slow because you really like her.