Is my boyfriend using me for sex? - Love Forum

starlover · #1 (**permalink**) 06-10-01, 01:02 PM

My boyfriend of 2 months recently moved into a really nice three bedroom house. Ever since he moved he always takes me over there and we get really drunk and have sex. I come home hungover every night feeling really bad about myself, but it's been so long since i've had a boyfriend that I'm worried if I break up with him I won't be able to find another boyfriend. I'm only 18 and all my friends (girls and guys) tell me I'm beautiful and I do part-time lingerie modeling, but it takes me forever to find a new boyfriend. Should I stay with him or break up? Please give me some advice.

joseph · #2 (**permalink**) 06-10-01, 01:03 PM

try talking with him....communication is the key to a relationship...but doesn't sound like yours is much of one. if you even suspect alls he's interested in you for is sex, then you shouldn't be having sex with him (unless you don't mind being used...or if you're using him in return). the simple answer is, instead of going over to his apartment, go out and do something. I suggest without drinking, that's a big problem, cuz you know damn well if your drinking, your gonna get horny and ****. do some sober activities where sex isn't involved and see if he still hangs around. but talk to him is the best idea....explain you want more to a relationship the getting drunk and ****ing.

mr fark · #3 (**permalink**) 06-10-01, 02:07 PM

You could just ask him straight in the face.

Guys are bad liars.

starlover · #4 (**permalink**) 09-10-01, 10:48 PM

Thanks alot for the advise.

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 11-10-01, 10:49 AM

can you give us a bit more information..yes you've told us that you sleep with him a lot and afterwards you might feel like sh*t, but how does he treat you? does the relationship only seem to be about sex? he has to be giving as well as taking and does it feel that you're trying to hard to keep this relationship together?? feedback please. raverboy

brandi604 · #6 (**permalink**) 01-05-02, 12:41 PM

well maybe he thinks that that is all you want to do.. unless u ahve told him somthing else u want to do... guys aren't good with coming up with brilliant ideas of stuff to do... so they just state the obvious they know u like dirnkgin adn ahvign sex so they will keep doing it untill u say u wanna do somthing else

Illusional · #7 (**permalink**) 01-05-02, 01:06 PM

haha it's true that some guys have a hard time saying what is really on their mind. personally you shoud say something though because he might think that you're fine with getting drunk every weekend and then having sex. he seems that he's not too aware of your feelings so you might want to express them a bit more to him. raverboy

IceQueen · #8 (**permalink**) 01-06-02, 02:32 PM

See, in a healthy relationship, your partner brings out your best qualities and makes you feel good about yourself.

If, after being intimate with your SO, you feel bad about yourself -- especially "dirty" and "used" -- it's probably time for you to leave the relationship. Because you are not enjoying yourself.

It really seems that the only thing that's making you stay is your fear of boyfriendlessness. Let's address that.

First of all, boyfriend is not a status symbol, not a casual ****, and not someone who validates you as a person. A boyfriend is first and foremost your friend, a man who shares your interests, listens to you, and understands your needs.

You have to take some time alone with yourself, to figure what it is that [i:f87dd0071c]you[/i:f87dd0071c] want in a man. Not just go for the first guy who asks you out.

Chances are, you are not going to have any difficulty finding a decent candidate once you have firmly established what you are looking for. It may take time, but the more time you take, the better your pick will be.

Leave this relationship, and do not look back. Spend the time you are single with wisdom.