is it illegal?

[igor]

Is it illegal for a man to take his condom off during sex if the woman doesn't know he took it off? This happened to me and I'm really scared that I might have contracted an STD from it, but I don't know yet.

This is what happened...
I met a guy just a few days before we had sex. I didn't want to do anything like that with him since we just met, but he kept pressuring me ("don't be scared"..., putting on a condom even though I told him no, etc..) until I agreed. I didn't realize that he had taken the condom off since it was dark. I didn't notice until he pulled out really fast at the last minute and he was ejaculating. I'm not pregnant so that's 1 less thing to worry about, but I'm more scared about STDs.

I have heard that if someone says yes to sex it doesn't matter if a condom is involved or not. If that's the case he didn't technically do anything wrong. I would think that putting someone at risk for STDs and pregnancy without them knowing would be illegal.

I also need to know how to get him to leave me alone. At first I didn't think this was a big deal and I was still going to hang out with him, now I don't want to talk to him ever again. He only wants me to come over so we can have sex and he basically tells me that. I don't want to tell him off since he's obviously psycho or something, and ignoring him doesn't work.
Any comments or advice would be appreciated. thanks...

[bohemiandonut]

Of course it is illegal! You could sue his ass hardcore!

First you should see if you actually do have any STD's. Find your local Planned Parenthood, they give free tests. www.plannedparenthood.org

Then, if you do, press charges like mad. The guy is a freak, from what you've told me of him.

Also, don't be such a slut. It will keep you healthy. Remember: Pussy = Power.

Peace.

[Only-virgins]

-----> no <------ see that word? learn how to use it.

[igor]

That's why I'm a little concerned... I kept telling him no! I'm not saying that this was rape or anything, but I was put in a situation where I got scared and thought he might freak out and rape me if he didn't get what he wanted. I'm sure he could tell I didn't want to do it, but people like that don't care what the other person wants.
How can I sue him if I need to? I mean... what is the crime called that I would be suing for??

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by igor

I got scared and thought he might freak out and rape me if he didn't get what he wanted.

...

So wait.

You really didn't want to have sex, but you let him have is way with you anyway so he wouldn't rape you...

Does anybody else see the irony in this?

[igor]

it's not much better that way, but at least it wasn't violent... There's no way I could kick his ass either. That's the sucky thing about being a girl

[Frasbee]

For future reference. Don't underestimate the sensitivity of the balls.

A really good punch or kick will definitely incapacitate a dude for a bit.

And in a situation like that, a really good punch or kick would be suggested.

Oh and just so you know I sympathize, I have a friend who had sex with a dude who pulled the same kind of thing, cept he busted inside her. Fortunately no STD's or pregnancy.

[igor]

I still think he needs to get in some kind of trouble for it. He needs to be stopped before he does it to someone else.

[thepinkrockstar]

admittedly i don't know much about this. but I'm sure that if you kept saying no, and he kept pressuring you into it, and you felt threatened..isn't that rape?

and if he knows you would have definately stopped him if you'd known he didn't have a condom on, so he didn't tell you, wouldn't that by extension be a type of rape too?

you could probably get at least a restraining order on this guy if you tell him to leave you alone and he wont.

[Only-virgins]

Quote:

Originally Posted by igor

That's why I'm a little concerned... I kept telling him no! I'm not saying that this was rape or anything, but I was put in a situation where I got scared and thought he might freak out and rape me if he didn't get what he wanted. I'm sure he could tell I didn't want to do it, but people like that don't care what the other person wants.
How can I sue him if I need to? I mean... what is the crime called that I would be suing for??

Weak. You had sex with him because you though he would rape you? wtf? your an idiot.

[igor]

It's hard to decide what to do. I don't really know him all that well so I don't know what he does to people who piss him off. If I go to the police for anything he might get mad and do something else really crappy. A restraining order isn't going to keep him away unless he wants to stay away. I'm in a bad position right now because I hate having to be mean to anyone, even his kind. Ignoring the phone calls isn't working. I've been doing it for over a week.
Thanks for everyone's advice so far. (Especially for those of you who don't think it makes me an idiot for being scared)

[Only-virgins]

Quote:

Originally Posted by igor

It's hard to decide what to do. I don't really know him all that well so I don't know what he does to people who piss him off. If I go to the police for anything he might get mad and do something else really crappy. A restraining order isn't going to keep him away unless he wants to stay away. I'm in a bad position right now because I hate having to be mean to anyone, even his kind. Ignoring the phone calls isn't working. I've been doing it for over a week

no its not. Tell him you hate him and dont want to see him. Man...are all girls this stupid? Maybe I should just use intimidation techniques to get laid and forget all that confidence and honesty crap. It seem to work on you. I think the guy you are talking about is wuss..he just knows your scared. Most people are not rapists you know.

[igor]

Sorry. I'd rather not hear your comments if they're just going to make me feel worse. Sorry for being rude. Maybe you don't understand how people like this are because you're not a psycho. Sick people will do a lot of things that most normal people wouldn't think of doing. It's a lot different for girls, too. Just about any guy is bigger and stronger than me and could easilt kick my ass. I normally don't get those weird vibes from people, just him

[Only-virgins]

Quote:

Originally Posted by igor

Sorry. I'd rather not hear your comments if they're just going to make me feel worse. Sorry for being rude. Maybe you don't understand how people like this are because you're not a psycho. Sick people will do a lot of things that most normal people wouldn't think of doing. It's a lot different for girls, too. Just about any guy is bigger and stronger than me and could easilt kick my ass. I normally don't get those weird vibes from people, just him

He wouldnt hit you...if he would then he is a psycho...and if he is a psycho then why the hell are you in this situation in the first place? How did you find your-self alone with him? Just sounds retarded to me. Remeber ..it always takes two. Being scared that he may force you to sex is no reason now to say no. I cant even begin to comprehand how this can even start...if your already in his bed then obviously he will not want to hear no. You sure your not just saying that because you regret the sex?

[igor]

You must not have the mind of a typical guy. I mean that in a nice way.
Come on.. guys hit girls sometimes and scare the hell out of them. Then you have to ditch the loser and worry that he might come after you or pull some other jackass move.
I was in the bedroom laying on the bed cuddling. That's not exactly having sex. Telling him no about 10 times should have given him at least a hint that I wasn't ready for sex. And him telling me "don't be scared" while he's trying to take off my pants and I won't let him is a little more pressure than someone needs to put up with