Am I really Special to her????

[downsoufone]

Sex is important to me in a relationship but not as important as love in the relationship. My question is if my girl's ex got to have sex with her(once) and she didn't love him why am I the one that has to wait until she wants to get married? Doesn't that mean that she felt more towards him than she feels toward me? Also please don't say it's her body and she has a right to do what she wants with her body. I already know that and I respect that but me having to wait and him not having to wait doesn't that mean he meant more even if she says I'm the only one of her boyfriends that she really waits to marry. Am I not that special to her or won't her ex have more of a special place in her heart than I do or ever will?

[jolovessim]

its probably the opposite, she feels more for you and less to him, so is trying to make the relation even more special by saving the physical side of your relationship untill marriage, so she knows you feel the same. if they split up shortly after she slept with him she might be apprehensive to sleep with you, feeling thats all you might be after. Have you explained to her how you feel about it?

[diablo robotico]

Chances are she thought sex with her ex was a mistake.

Another note - it's really destructive to think about her ex. Just get that thought right out of your head.

[Dymondgirl]

I agree with both!

[mhussain]

ok what about if the girl slept willingly with her ex, and then came abnd said sorry.

would one be able to trust her again?

i mean wouldnt this thought that what if he comes again tomorrow and tries to get into her life. would u trust her or him ?

Hussain

[diablo robotico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mhussain

ok what about if the girl slept willingly with her ex, and then came abnd said sorry.

would one be able to trust her again?

i mean wouldnt this thought that what if he comes again tomorrow and tries to get into her life. would u trust her or him ?

You're talking about cheating, and that's quite a different story there! It would be awfully hard for me to forgive, but of course if I loved the person enough, I'd have to try. The trust would be a lot harder to get back than the forgiveness, I think.

Usually there are reasons a person cheats. As a couple you'd have to honestly dig into those reasons and decide if they are something that you both can overcome.

[bohemiandonut]

Tell her sex is important (it is.) In fact, I wouldn't hesitate to say it's probably the most important thing. What if you two have sex and it's horrible? Or you wait so long you are no longer sexually attracted to eachother? Not to mention that for all you know you could be having sex with some other girl and not waiting around for this indecisive nutcase.

Communicate and do what you have to do. Sex is fun, relationships can be fun, but relationships without sex are no fun at all.

[Kel]

by saying "you're the only one she wants to marry" isn't that the same as saying "you're the only one she wants to have sex with" because shes waiting until marriage...confused

[Only-virgins]

Why buy the cow if you can get the milk?...and in this case...Why do you have to wait to buy the cow to get milk when others just got the milk easily?.

Quote:

Originally Posted by downsoufone

My question is if my girl's ex got to have sex with her(once) and she didn't love him why am I the one that has to wait until she wants to get married? Doesn't that mean that she felt more towards him than she feels toward me?

She is a scumbag. What the hell is the point of waiting till marriage if she already had sex ROFL? It doesn't mean she had more feelings towards him but it does mean that you are getting screwed over.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kel

by saying "you're the only one she wants to marry" isn't that the same as saying "you're the only one she wants to have sex with" because shes waiting until marriage...confused

Yea, it also says " You have to wait to get sex...the other guy just walked in and got it for free quick".

[Apache]

Quote:

Originally Posted by diablo robotico

Chances are she thought sex with her ex was a mistake.

Another note - it's really destructive to think about her ex. Just get that thought right out of your head.

I agree and will add this. You don't say how long the two of you have been together. Nor how long they were together. But I'm sure she has regrets of some sort, that have nothing to do with you. Think about it logically. If he were that special, she'd still be with him. But shes with you bro...be happy about that. You've got to realize she had a life before she met you. And sometimes we make mistakes.

I nearly lost the love of my life thinking the way you are. She felt so horrible knowing what I was feeling. But I realized how much I cared for her and that's the most important thing. Leave the past where it is. It has nothing to do with you.

Give her time....she might suprise you one day.