Confused for too long now? - Love Forum

papercut · #1 (**permalink**) 24-03-05, 11:48 PM

this is a little long, but i would appreciate you reading this.

Hey all, i am 23 and have been sexually confused for bout 4 years now. Is this too long? I think that after this amount of time there is something wrong with me and need to speak to people frankly about this shit thats goin on my head.

To start of, the first person that i ever had a crush on was a girl, but the first person that i experimented with was a guy when i was very young. I stopped doing that because for whatever reason in my head i didnt want to keep doing it, even tho i was curious.

I have never had any romantic feelings for another guy and i have for a few woman (but do sometimes really want to experiment to understand myself, but i am afraid that this will not answer my question). for many years i was very happy with the fact that i had experimented and i felt very confident that i was straight. When i was younger i would fantasise about women, but at times, i wouldnt fantasise about being with a man, but i would try to see what i thought it was like to be a woman if she was with me, in particular giving oral sex. Then i went through a very low phase where i was very very depressed and had no self confidence at all and so i started to obsess over why i experimented and why i would fantasis about penises.

Now i am at the point where i really am not attracted to anything or any one. an i realy do not know what to do. I have seen gay porn a few years ago and i thought that it was horrible, not for me. But over the past while i have started to search for it on the net to see if i like it, and over time i have begun to become more interested in it. Here is the problem though, i dont know if this is because i just want to know who i am, or becuase i do actually like guys that way, and have been in denial all my life.
I have forgotten what it feels like to truely want someone, sexually and emotionally.

I think about this ALL the time, i have trouble sleeping and sometimes being with people in public or private??
Any advice or opinion no matter how honest please give it?
thanks

Dymondgirl · #2 (**permalink**) 25-03-05, 06:13 AM

DO NOt think bad of yourself! there is nothing wrong with being curious about your sex. I like women and men and have been with both. I think it's just easier finding someone of the opposite sex. If I found a women would I was completely attracted to and she to me I'd go for it. I'm sure it's very different for a man tho. But it's good your talking about it instead of keeping everything bottled up! If your interested in finding out about men..what the hell go for it. It's your life and you need to find your own way through it and not worry about what others think. Good Luck hon..lol

diablo robotico · #3 (**permalink**) 25-03-05, 07:26 AM

I don't think 4 years is too long to be confused. Heck, some people are confused their entire lives! The good thing is that you're aware of it and you want to figure it out.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with being sexually excited by a penis. No biggie there. I'm about as straight as they come and I admit that an erect penis is a very erotic sight. Secondly, don't be so much concerned about your sexual orientation. When you meet a person you find attractive (whether it's a boy or a girl), just go with the feelings. Don't wonder about it or over analyze.

Don't know how much help that is... but I do think that you're over analyzing and you just need to let it go and experience it.

PS - Dymondgirl, next time you find a girl to be with, can I watch?!?

Dymondgirl · #4 (**permalink**) 25-03-05, 07:10 PM

Always thought someone watching was so erotic

I'll let you know..lol

mhussain · #5 (**permalink**) 25-03-05, 08:29 PM

chill out and relax mate. happens inlife

dont worry. it will be alright

Hussain

diablo robotico · #6 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dymondgirl

Always thought someone watching was so erotic

I'll let you know..lol

sweet! (dang there's no *drool* emoticon)

bohemiandonut · #7 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 05:49 AM

Sickos.

Papercut, why don't you investigate the cause of your homo-curiosity? I mean, were you raped by an aunt or perhaps dropped on your head when you were little? I've always been interested in how people become gay, because, I mean, it's so disgusting!

Well you know this already, you've seen the porn: Vomit!

I'm all for tolerance, but come on. Come on!

adam_bigboy · #8 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 06:39 PM

No one is 100% straight. NO ONE! Don't be scared of your sexual feelings. I don't know about your religious values, but if they aren't very strict, or you don't have a religion, then there is nothing to worry about. You shouldn't be so worried about what sex you are. There are people that will be mean to you/ won't like you because your bisexual/gay, but that is their problem. Humans are turned on by most things sexual. Even straight guys are turned on by other guys penises. And straight women are turned on by another woman's vagina/breasts. I wouldn't be so worried about what sex you are. Society is becoming more and more accepting of bisexuals/gays. Explore your feelings. There is nothing to worry about. Just think, if your bisexual/gay, you will experience something most straight people will never experience. Most importantly, There is nothing to worry about

bohemiandonut · #9 (**permalink**) 27-03-05, 06:33 AM

Indeed, any type of sexual stimulation can cause sexual arousal. I was talking specifically about the desire to enter another man's anal or oral cavern with your throbbing phallus.

See? Isn't that gross? Case in point.

Ashley · #10 (**permalink**) 04-04-05, 03:47 PM

bohemiandonut whats the difference of a mans anal or oral cavern and a womans? If a man wants a man it is completly okay its what they want to do it doesnt mean they are going to lunge out of the bushes and rape you because they like other men.

Only-virgins · #11 (**permalink**) 04-04-05, 04:01 PM

The only way I would have fantasies about man is if those man were woman.

#12 (**permalink**) 04-04-05, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bohemiandonut

Indeed, any type of sexual stimulation can cause sexual arousal. I was talking specifically about the desire to enter another man's anal or oral cavern with your throbbing phallus.

See? Isn't that gross? Case in point.

Huh? WHY is it gross? I mean, its just biology.

Kel · #13 (**permalink**) 23-04-05, 03:06 PM

i agree with dymondgirl...i've been with both as well...but i'd much rather be in a stereotypically "normal" relationship...i couldnt live without sex hahaha...nah but its not the end of the world...stop thinking about it and u will figure it out much easier, believe it or not...the harder u think about things...the more insane u become

Apache · #14 (**permalink**) 25-04-05, 12:41 AM

I'm guessing here...but I'd say that 90% of men and women have experimented with members of the same sex.(usually at a young age). Whether its just looking at each others bodies or...And yes that does count too.

Does it make you gay? Not at all. Perhaps you are trying to justify why you did what you did. Don't feel shame...as sex is a powerful and nearly uncontrollable. If you don't desire men but desire women I'd say you were
not gay. And thinking about men does not mean you are gay. It means you are curious....But how you pursue what you want is what is important. And you should pursue what you want no matter what you decide it is that you want. There are no rules...except the ones we make for ourselves. The important thing is to be happy. Just relax and the answer will come to you. Don't think so hard!