Soooooo close.....NEED HELP! - Love Forum

Focused · #1 (**permalink**) 27-03-05, 02:22 AM

Hey guys, been a while since I last posted, but anyway.....in case you forgot I am a 22 year old male who is STILL a virgin.

Well, 4 weeks ago I started going out with a coworker and she is amazing. We both love each other very much and last weekend we decided to take it to the next step. Problem is as soon as I put the condom on I couldn't get hard to save my life. I am totally turned on by her because she is extremely hot in my opinion and I get hard when we fool around. Last night we tried again and I got semi hard, but could still not get hard enough to really put it in her. I tried to relax and tried to get it hard for at least 30-45 minutes before giving up! What is wrong with me and how can I fix it??? I mean I know that I am nervous since it is my first time having sex and I really want to satisfy her becuase she means a lot to me. This problem is really embarressing and I hate to let her down when she is ready to have sex. Any tips??

Mark

BlackRose · #2 (**permalink**) 27-03-05, 05:19 AM

A lot of guys seem to have this problem. It's all in your head. My suggestions is, get a box of cheap condoms and try using them when you are home alone masturbating. Get used to puting them on and keeping them on during sexual contact. Then have your girl gradually get in on the action. Have her jerk you off with one on. See if this gradual introduction to condoms helps you out. You are probably just nervous since it it your first time. I think you just need to be more comfortable in your own skin. If you don't want to do that, try taking a bubble bath with her. Fool around in the tub a little and then get out, dry each other off and lay down with her in the warm blankets and try it then. You will be all relaxed after the bath and this might help. It's all in your head which means you can talk yourself out of anything you want to. Just try not to stress about it or think about it too much when you are doing it. Focus on how beautiful she is and how much you love her, not on your penis. If you focus too much on it, you are bound to go soft from all that stress and pressure.

bohemiandonut · #3 (**permalink**) 27-03-05, 06:14 AM

That's all good advice, but a bit superfluous, in my opinion.

Though I would recommend getting used to the condom ritual, you should also keep this in mind: Always piss before sex. Always! You must take care of that function before expecting to maintain an erection.

And the best way to put a condom on is this: After you've relieved your bladder, lean back, and have your girl go down on you while you fumble with the condom. Once you've got it unwrapped and facing the right direction, plant that sucker on and flip your girly on her back. Be quick! Once you're inside you shouldn't have too much of a problem staying hard (if you've followed my advice about urination.)

It's all about timing.

Good luck and happy humping!