Originally Posted by darinsbabe_55
Hey when I go to have sex for the first time is it going to hurt like everyones says or what? And if it does hurt why does it? I'm a very uneducated person please help!!!!
LOL!!
No, it doesn't have to hurt the first time. There is a LOT of material on the net about getting your mind and your body ready for the first time, and the mechanics of "doing it". Most young people (myself included, at your age) don't really understand everything it tries to teach them. Hopefully you can get your guy to read and think about some of that material as the two of you work up to your wedding night. Or give him a copy of this post, annonymously if that's best. Anyhow, here's the advice:
1. Get comfortable with each others' orgasmic response. That means, learn to get each other off with hands, mouths, humping, heavy petting, etc. The stuff that's now sometimes called "outercourse". Hopefully you'll learn to pleasure, and appreciate, each others' bodies by doing this for several days, or several months, before attempting intercourse.
2. Allow lots of time together. Like, most of a day - or all night - as a minimum. A whole weekend together is better. Use the "together time" to work up to the "undressed time". If it's your wedding night, I hope you had a morning or afternoon service rather than evening, followed by a reception without a lot of alcohol. Then by late afternoon or early evening, you and your lover can start learning about sex together. You'll be too tired and too emotionally keyed up to do it well, but you've anticipated it for so long that you're going to do it anyway. It will still be one of the most meaningful and significant events in your life.
3. Get some privacy. Nobody else in the house. Or rent a room - some downtown hotels that host mostly business travelers have bargain weekend packages that include a room, some meals, and often tickets to things like sports events, concerts, etc.
4. When the time is near - start by giving each other an orgasm. He'll need it to slow down his response, and to get the patience he'll need to be gentle. You can use her mouth or hands on him, or he can rub against you ("dry humping") or excuse himself to the bathroom for a few minutes . . . Let him know beforehand that this is going to happen, so he cooperates with you and lets it happen. Then insist that he bring you to orgasm, again with his hands or mouth. This may take a while, and he'll be getting hard again while it happens. You need the climax to guarantee that you'll be as open, lubricated, and relaxed as you'll ever be.
5. As your orgasm ends and the contractions subside - position yourself on top of him and guide him in. Don't think, "He's sticking it into me." but rather, "I'm enveloping his penis with a wonderful love gift.". Being on top gives you the freedom of movement to get the positioning and angles just right for you. He can't feel what you're feeling, and everyone's a little different, so adjust things until it feels right to you. It's not a matter of control so much as you're the one who's best able to make it work right.
6. Once inside, he probably won't last long - even if you are wise enough to give him an orgasm before you start. (And if you DIDN'T do that, he'll probably come in 10 to 15 seconds.) Don't be disappointed. It shows the power you have when it comes to giving guys pleasure.
7. In the moments and minutes afterwards, be very open and sensitive to each other. You will both probably be more emotionally naked than any other time in your lives. You have the potential to do real emotional harm to each other, or yourselves. It's impossible to say how EITHER of you will feel - you may want to cuddle naked forever, or cover up and ask him to leave until you're dressed; you may be sobbing or laughing giddy; you may need time together or time alone.
8. Do something together - take a walk; watch a movie; go out for desert. Talk about what you did or felt if you'd like - and let him talk or not as it seems best.
9. Do it again when you're ready. Physiologically, it should be much better. Emotionally, I hope it's much different.
Linear Mode
