Getting back in "the game" - Love Forum

Jeblina · #1 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 12:00 PM

Hi....I'm new here....I just found this forum yesterday, and hopefully I can get some good input from everyone here...

A little background...I'm 20 years old, I met my ex about 4 years ago...things got serious quickly, and we ended up engaged, and then I found out that I was pregnant....we were both excited, then 3 months later, he kicked me out, and moved some bimbo in 3 days later. So I've been a single mom since then....my daughter is now 15 months old......but ever since my nasty breakup, I haven't been on a date or had sex...NOTHING!
Well about a week ago, I met an old friend and we've hit it off....it's nice to have male attention again...maybe I'm thinking too far into the future, but you never know what may happen

.....my ex left me with some serious self-confidence issues about my body and that certainly hasn't been helped by the pregnancy (although I know I'm not fat....5'7 and 125 pounds....I just have fat deposits in different places...LOL). I'm so nervous about the possibility of sex, that I'm sure it won't be enjoyable to me. Again, I'm probably WAY ahead of myself, but does anyone have any advice about getting back into the swing of being intimate after a long time "off"? Sorry this was so long...

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 01:49 PM

you DESERVE to do things for yourself and have your own life. HE left you and your daughter, it's not your fault. he is a jerk. he couldn't handle the consequences of his actions and he's a little boy, obviously. it's not your fault! go out and have fun. don't let him take your self confidence away! his self confidence should be low for what he did, not yours.

go out with this person and have fun. don't hold back just because some a.sshole left you pregnant for some bimbo. guys don't worry about "fat deposits in different places" as much as you may think.

good luck...

Only-virgins · #3 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 02:26 PM

He was engaged to you and got you pregnant and then at one moment just kicks you out and leaves you?.....*grabs a bat* were does he live?

Jeblina · #4 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

He was engaged to you and got you pregnant and then at one moment just kicks you out and leaves you?.....*grabs a bat* were does he live?

Yeah....I've thought about that....but he's honestly not even worth the effort...LOL!!!
I've talked with this new guy a little bit about my aprehensions (he used to go to school with me and my ex...so he knows the whole situation....smallish community, word travels fast).....he's got a 4 year old daughter as well......I kinda worry about that too....I mean, if it gets serious with him, I kinda got myself an "Insta-family"! Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead into things...

Snipaa · #5 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 09:12 PM

#1) Stop saying "I'm thinking too far ahead". Never hurts to analyse the future moderately. I mean, it will come soon enough.

#2) 125lbs for 5'7" is not FAT?!?!?!?! I love strategically placed fat on a woman

My girlfriend's 5'8 140lbs ish and I think she needs to put on weight! Majority of men I know do not like to see bones on any part of a woman's body (ribs, neck, collar bone....etc)!

Only-virgins · #6 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 09:56 PM

[quote=SnipaaMajority of men I know do not like to see bones on any part of a woman's body (ribs, neck, collar bone....etc)![/QUOTE]

Negative. I love it when you can see the collar bone on a girl. Ribs would be a turn off I think but the neck and collar bone are nice when they are thin.

Jeblina · #7 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snipaa

#1) Stop saying "I'm thinking too far ahead". Never hurts to analyse the future moderately. I mean, it will come soon enough.

#2) 125lbs for 5'7" is not FAT?!?!?!?! I love strategically placed fat on a woman

My girlfriend's 5'8 140lbs ish and I think she needs to put on weight! Majority of men I know do not like to see bones on any part of a woman's body (ribs, neck, collar bone....etc)!

OK....1....I've always tended to get too far ahead of myself, causing me to read too much into what a relationship really is, or what it might become. 2....I know I'm not fat....I guess I just need to TONE the weight I have on me....before I was pregnant, I was 120 and about 14% body fat....then I gained 60 pounds with my pregnancy....and now I have little muscle tone from the waist down (I've always been self conscious about my ass, even before I was pregnant).
To make matters worse, I ran my mouth the other day......and to make a long story short...well, yeah, he's coming over to spend the night tonight and hang out with me tomorrow. I've made myself very clear that he shouldn't "expect" anything....but I'm still nervous, because things happen, ya know? I guess "the future" really wasn't that far off....LOL

Snipaa · #8 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 10:15 PM

Good stuff

Snipaa · #9 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 10:16 PM

Btw, I've never been on a forum with more retarded looking emoticons....lol

Jeblina · #10 (**permalink**) 26-04-05, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snipaa

Btw, I've never been on a forum with more retarded looking emoticons....lol

HAHA.....yeah...I agree.

Another thing....for anyone who has taken a "break" from being intimate, like myself....I have found myself wondering how it will be with someone else.....I got comfortable around my ex, and I was more "outgoing"....I know that everyone does quirky things during sex......but after being with one person for so long, and then taking such a long break from sex.....I'm worried about how a new person might react to such "quirks". Any ideas?

Snipaa · #11 (**permalink**) 27-04-05, 02:22 AM

Guys love "quirks". The "quirk"ier the better....lol Stop worrying so much! U big babieeee....lol You'll be fine, just take this as they come and do whatever you're comfortable with.

PS. I refuse to use emoticons in posts now....lol

Jeblina · #12 (**permalink**) 27-04-05, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snipaa

Guys love "quirks". The "quirk"ier the better....lol Stop worrying so much! U big babieeee....lol You'll be fine, just take this as they come and do whatever you're comfortable with.

PS. I refuse to use emoticons in posts now....lol

LOL....thanks for pointing out the fact that I'm being a baby! That helps!

Snipaa · #13 (**permalink**) 27-04-05, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeblina

LOL....thanks for pointing out the fact that I'm being a baby! That helps!

I was joking!! Trying to lighten the atmosphere cuz you have nothing to worry about! Hence the "lol" after I put that!

artyemi · #14 (**permalink**) 27-04-05, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeblina

HAHA.....yeah...I agree.

Another thing....for anyone who has taken a "break" from being intimate, like myself....I have found myself wondering how it will be with someone else.....I got comfortable around my ex, and I was more "outgoing"....I know that everyone does quirky things during sex......but after being with one person for so long, and then taking such a long break from sex.....I'm worried about how a new person might react to such "quirks". Any ideas?

Hi Jeb- when you get there, it all gets so natural, and you just become who you are. I have a son, and after breaking up with my ex whom i dated for seven years, i thought there was no way I could ever, ever, ever have sex with anyone else again.

At first, it was awkward, really, really awkward because one gets nervous. But once you get past those inhibitions, it's all good.

Let us know how it goes.

BlackRose · #15 (**permalink**) 27-04-05, 09:26 AM

Hey. Just try to be confident. Men love a confident women. Even if you feel insecure and unsure, just pretend to be confident and sexy and you will be. The mind is funny like that. You can talk yourself into just about anything. I also just took a look at your pics and you are a very pretty woman. You have nothing to worry about. You'll be fine. You're daughter is beautiful as well.

Best of luck.