Hot and Cold Women... :( - Love Forum

Apache · #1 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 12:59 AM

Here's a question that I'm sure many of us have been through.
I've asked it once in the question about hormones...

Do these hormones make a woman run hot and cold too? I just don't get it.
And I know I am not imagining things here. She's moody as hell, and seems to have become distant with me. When I tell her I respect her space...she argues that she does not want space. Things continue (distance) and then I give her space out of a lack of anything else to do. The distance goes away almost immediately, and she totally beats a path to my door. Shes totally interested in sex, but tells me I am driving her crazy talking about it with her.
So I tell her I will stop, and she tells me not to! Our sex life is fine, and actually she wants more from me. But I told her that sex for me is a mixture of emotional and phyisical. And she agrees....then goes distant again. We actually had a fight because she said I was ignoring her (for one day???). I got tired of calling her all the time and not getting through to her. I guess she missed my voicemail? Emails too....we used to be 2 to 1 ratio (2 me 1 her). Now its like 5 to 1. And if I stop this too...she says I am angry at her.

Anger is not the word....its called being totally confused and frustrated.

Any ideas?

BTW...she is an older lady...late 40's. Could it be menopause starting?

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 01:03 AM

lmfao! oh gawd that was funny.

oh, were u being serious?

ALovelyLady86 · #3 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 01:23 AM

Actually it could be menopause...

She sounds like she needs your attention. When I tell someone to leave me alone, and then I change my mind and I want them to be with me.. its because there is something I need to talk about.

Just be there for her. Let her know youre there if she needs to talk. Give her a big hug, maybe even have a romantic dinner fixed with some candles lit when she gets home you know?

Apache · #4 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 02:14 AM

I agree...and yes I am totally there for her. After all, she is the love of my life

We don't live together...and are not married. Both of us have been through
miserable marriages. Will we ever? Probably...even though both of us swear we never will go through that again.

I've done the nice dinner thing...the weekend get aways. All of these work well. It's the day to day things...But I will never give up on her.

She does drive me crazy though....lol. And I am totally crazy about her.

ALovelyLady86 · #5 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 02:20 AM

Hehe girls tend to be a challenge sometimes.. I would know I'm one of the stubborn ones...

But remember.. we do see the effort even if we dont express it.

If it gets to where you feel like she might be taking advantage of your love, walk away and tell her you dont appreciate it. She'll come back around

Apache · #6 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ALovelyLady86

Hehe girls tend to be a challenge sometimes.. I would know I'm one of the stubborn ones...

But remember.. we do see the effort even if we dont express it.

If it gets to where you feel like she might be taking advantage of your love, walk away and tell her you dont appreciate it. She'll come back around

This is so true....I've done it a few times already (early in the relationship).
She would never allow me to walk very far. In truth though...I really don't want to walk away from her. I'm pathetic......lol nah...just in love

ALovelyLady86 · #7 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 03:25 AM

Thats so sweet... but its also so sweet that you need to make sure she wont walk all over you too.

Apache · #8 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ALovelyLady86

Thats so sweet... but its also so sweet that you need to make sure she wont walk all over you too.

Yes...I admit. At times it seems like she is taking advantage of my good nature. Maybe I try too hard....but I don't want to be like the rest of my gender, and become a caveman...lol.

Do women like sensative guys? Sometimes I wonder...hmm another topic.

Snipaa · #9 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 04:12 AM

Women.... sheesh! I thought I was the only one with problems like this. I've started losing hair because of the stress it causes me.... I kid you not

Apache · #10 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snipaa

Women.... sheesh! I thought I was the only one with problems like this. I've started losing hair because of the stress it causes me.... I kid you not

Oh my...thats terrible. I can relate...I actually had health issues,
becoming very sick. The doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with me
except that I was deeply depressed. But I mean phyisical illness....not a good thing.

Snipaa · #11 (**permalink**) 11-05-05, 10:18 PM

I'm slowly starting to let go, and just accept things instead of stressing over it. I was starting to get physical ilnesses (ulsers) as well due to the stress.

Apache · #12 (**permalink**) 14-05-05, 03:12 AM

Well no woman is worth getting sick over thats for sure...
Even if you are in love with her. You've got to look at it as it is.
A relationship is suppose to be happy....both sides. If only one is happy and one is sick...well it kind of says that the happy one is either totally selfish,
or its not a relationship at all. I'd walk away if I were getting sick....you're no
worse off than you would be if you hung in there...except you will eventually get over it by walking away