Experienced - Love Forum

Apache · #1 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 03:08 AM

For both the ladies and the guys. When you first
start a new relationship, does your partner's past sexual
experience with others bother you or no? I'm not talking
about STD's.

bluesummer · #2 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 07:31 AM

Oops, I voted that I was a guy...sorry.

You know what, about 6 months into our relationship (we've been together 3 yrs), my bf finally confessed that he used to be a bit of a man-whore (whilst living in Australia). He told me he'd slept with over 20 women, a lot of one-night stands. At first I was horrified. He was only the third person I'd slept with. I actually CRIED over it.

He got mad at me for that and said his past had nothin to do with his future.....he said he'd told me because he thought I'd be mature and understanding, which I wasn't. I felt like an ass. The more I thought about it, I realized it wasn't a big deal....he was a kid when it happened.

Ellynn · #3 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 07:37 AM

Yeah sometimes people go thru a phase. I never asked the last guy I slept with how many......but I had a feeling it was quite a few. He knew what he was doing..... He was only my 3rd.

#4 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 08:11 AM

Can't vote cause there's no middle ground.. I mean sure it bothers me but not to the point where I'd mention it or make a big deal of it.. but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me at all.

mini696 · #5 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 09:03 AM

I agree with Tone.

It bothers me because I feel inexperienced -I have only had 2 women- and the second one is my current GF.

But I dont think any less of her because she has slept with more people, or who she slept with.

Mick

Frasbee · #6 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 09:04 AM

How about...it bothers me a little?

Abraxxas · #7 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 12:56 PM

Pretty much like... I'm never sure if I want to know? I have in the past and to some extent, you have to wonder, how do I "rank"? Is she just saying Im great? Or am I like "Good enough"... girls are evil like that, they can fool you and turn your mind into oatmeal and trick you and mold you into a window-licking short-bus rider in no time.

Scary stuff man.

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abraxxas

Pretty much like... I'm never sure if I want to know? I have in the past and to some extent, you have to wonder, how do I "rank"? Is she just saying Im great? Or am I like "Good enough"... girls are evil like that, they can fool you and turn your mind into oatmeal and trick you and mold you into a window-licking short-bus rider in no time.

Scary stuff man.

Maybe you.

But not me.

I'm invincible.

Ellynn · #9 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 01:15 PM

Honestly I cannot say that any of the people I slept with were bad. They all were good at something...... I mean everyone is different..... some lack in some things and excel in others. It would suck to have "bad" sex though.

aloha22 · #10 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abraxxas

you have to wonder, how do I "rank"? Is she just saying Im great? Or am I like "Good enough"...

I had a situation like that a while back. I was dating this guy for a little while and we messed around and stuff, but didn't have sex (I was still a virgin at the time). Well one day our pasts came up in conversation and he said that he had slept with five girls. Well it may not seem like that many, but imagine how it sounded to little innocent virgin me! Our relationship fell apart, and that was one of the reasons. I think the thing that scared me the most is that when he was recalling how many girls he had been with, it took him a few seconds to remember. "Ummm. Well I guess it was five. No, wait, four. Well I guess that one counted, so five."

Only-virgins · #11 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 04:27 PM

It bothers me to no end. I have almost taken my life because of this issue. I can not get around it and I do not want to as I do not see it as a problem. Everyone else is the problem. This land of sluts can go to hell. People can all **** each other and take turns for all I care but I would just like to leave this god for saken piece of shit land called earth.

Anyways whats with the inferiority complex going on? The problem shouldnt be if she thinks you suck at sex or not...I mean..whocares? your all-ready getting sex anyways.

Ellynn · #12 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 04:43 PM

OV, why is it so bad that we choose to have sex? Why is that such a problem? I mean it is our choice. Some people choose to wait and some don't. Whats the big deal? I know a few virgins and they are in their 20s. Nothing wrong with that....just like theres nothing wrong with people who choose to have sex. I mean IM far from a slut...but yet IM labeled one. Why is that? Cuz I've had sex?

Only-virgins · #13 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

OV, why is it so bad that we choose to have sex? Why is that such a problem? I mean it is our choice. Some people choose to wait and some don't. Whats the big deal? I know a few virgins and they are in their 20s. Nothing wrong with that....just like theres nothing wrong with people who choose to have sex. I mean IM far from a slut...but yet IM labeled one. Why is that? Cuz I've had sex?

Lets put it this way. Its not that there is anything wrong with either.I am not trying to tell people how to run their lives ...but for me..personaly(put it that way then) I want a virgin. Also girls and some other guys can find these "other" things that makes a relationship ..umm..great or what ever..but call me shallow if you like but logic tells me boys and girls get together for the sex..thats it..so why buy the cow if I can get the milk?. The problem I see is how people think I am the one with the problem..through my view its the other way around. You are a good example..why are you trying to change my mind?...didn't you just say yourself that there is nothing wrong either way?

Ellynn · #14 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 04:54 PM

Not trying to change your mind at all. I honestly think its great what your doing if thats what works for you. You just sounded kinda down and started generalizing that all people who have sex are sluts. I thought that was kinda jumping the gun. I mean I see your point of view. It does make sense...but please don't assume that I am a slut because I have sex. I don't assume your gay/ or nasty since you don't have sex. I see your reasoning.....at least try to see mine. Even if you don't agree with it ....respect the my decision.

I also wanted to add that I know women with your same point of view. Nothing wrong with it. I knew men as well with that point of view. Nothing wrong with it. I respect their decision and they respect mine.....and Im not labeled a slut because of it.

Only-virgins · #15 (**permalink**) 16-08-05, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

I honestly think its great what your doing if thats what works for you.

What is it that I am doing?

Quote:

You just sounded kinda down and started generalizing that all people who have sex are sluts. I thought that was kinda jumping the gun. I mean I see your point of view. It does make sense...but please don't assume that I am a slut because I have sex. I don't assume your gay/ or nasty since you don't have sex. I see your reasoning.....at least try to see mine. Even if you don't agree with it ....respect the my decision.

I wasnt exactly talking about you but a slut is a person who has sex with different partners casually..if you fit that profile ..then slut you are and accept that you must. I for one do not care what people call me. Its really easy to say from your side "its a different point of view" but from my side it seems like lately the general public is like ..you..and my chances of having absolutly any romance in this life is reaching zero so dont blame me for being bitter please.