Your Big number - Love Forum

zorrotosire · #1 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 03:37 AM

I am seeing a girl which i very much like and fancied her for a long time. But the problem is she has already slept with 30 odd guys which makes me think her as a slut. Am i getting really paranoid about it or 30 + number is too much anyway for any other people.

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 04:40 AM

je je je je je je.

Abraxxas · #3 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 05:35 AM

That would be nothing to Ron Jeremy... come on.

Ellynn · #4 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 05:36 AM

That is quite a large number of guys... But if it was a guy who slept with that many girls he would be considered a stud......with experience. Honestly if it bothers you then I wouldn't stick with her. Do you know the circumstances that go along with her sleeping w/ 30 guys? I'm assuming some of the were one night stands....and not all in relationships.

I always like to know how many people the guy I'm with slept with before me....but then again its hard to judge always from that. Some people start having sex at an early age. My number is low....cuz I started kinda late....

If it truly bothers you then don't do it. If it does but you can live with it....use a condom.

Apache · #5 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 06:19 AM

Its just a number....but if it bothers you now it will only get worse.

It would bother me. But if you are in love with her, overlook it.

What I don't understand is how she could tell you this, assuming she did of course.

And I agree its not fair...the male/female thing. The guy's a stud, the girls a whore.

shh! · #6 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 07:33 AM

I would worry at least as much about the fact that she didn't have enough sense to keep it to herself....

mini696 · #7 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 07:56 AM

Well I think if a male slept with 30 women he would be a slut too. Why do women think that they are thought of as studs? It seems to be only women who have this slut/stud issue with men sleeping around.

And my short answer to you is... Get over it, or get away from it.

Mick

Ellynn · #8 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mini696

Well I think if a male slept with 30 women he would be a slut too. Why do women think that they are thought of as studs? It seems to be only women who have this slut/stud issue with men sleeping around.

And my short answer to you is... Get over it, or get away from it.

Mick

NO personally I would NOT be impressed if a guy slept with that many women. It would actually disgust me. But I'm saying that other people who hear this are impressed..... I never understood it myself.

NeoSeminole · #9 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 08:41 AM

I should make a thread about double-standards. It seems most of you don't understand what you're talking about. Guys who sleep with many girls are studs b/c it takes skill. They need to have confidence, maker her laugh, and impress her. It's not easy for a guy to get laid. What do girls have to do to get a guy? Nothing. Girls that sleep around have a negative stigma attatched to them b/c they are perceived as having issues. Oftentimes, they act out based on immaturity, unstability, desparation, selfishness, insecurity, etc.

In addition, there is an important distinction between male studs and male sluts. Guys who sleep around with anything that walks are sluts. It takes no skill to get laid if you have low enough standards. I personally know a few guys who match this description. Guys who have lots of sex with quality girls are studs. The type of girls they sleep with can have their pick of any guy, yet they chose the studs for a reason.

To answer zorrotosire, I will quote myself from a previous post. "If you like her and she likes you, I see no reason why you two can't be together. Don't worry about how many guys she's slept with. Unless you are looking for marriage, chances are this relationship won't last anyway. View this as the perfect opportunity for lots of sex. At least you won't have to wait until she is ready. If she's had multiple partners, then she's probably picked up a few "tricks" along the way."

Ellynn · #10 (**permalink**) 15-08-05, 10:32 AM

Yeah you can usually tell an experienced guy from a guy who hasn't had alot of experience. I know that I have slept w/ both. It is nice to have a guy who knows what hes doing and just doesn't go right to the sex. If a guy knows how to touch a woman.....other then just on the boobs and down below....then he knows what hes doing. Either that or he's been doing some serious reading up on stuff.

Like I said before I don't like guys with high numbers. But mainly its kinda who he slept with and what his motives were when he slept with these girls. Where they a bunch of one nite stands? Was it just friends with benefits? OR were they serious relationships? This does have a factor somewhat.. Sometimes its best to not know what the numbers are and just go with what feels right.... Just use protection.

RoxyFoxy · #11 (**permalink**) 17-08-05, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

Yeah you can usually tell an experienced guy from a guy who hasn't had alot of experience. I know that I have slept w/ both. It is nice to have a guy who knows what hes doing and just doesn't go right to the sex. If a guy knows how to touch a woman.....other then just on the boobs and down below....then he knows what hes doing. Either that or he's been doing some serious reading up on stuff.

Like I said before I don't like guys with high numbers. But mainly its kinda who he slept with and what his motives were when he slept with these girls. Where they a bunch of one nite stands? Was it just friends with benefits? OR were they serious relationships? This does have a factor somewhat.. Sometimes its best to not know what the numbers are and just go with what feels right.... Just use protection.

Indeed. I second that. There is nothing wrong with guy virgins. But after a girl is over 20, a little bit of expiriance is a must. I remember a couple of guys who I had sex with, that were virgins. All they did was have sex, finish, and that was it. It took them a while to break out of that pattern. I guess men are so predispositioned to having sex, that when they get to have sex for the first time, the point of sex for them is about enjoying it for themselves only.

It's very obvious to tell if a guy has had sex for the first time. It's stuff that nobody can even try and fake. I'll never forget the constant questions before sex, the akward silence during sex, and the sad sad time that it took for them to finish. Usually, if a girl wants to test a guy and see if they had sex for the first time, all you have to do is keep him in "there" for about 5 minutes. If he's still not done, chances are, that he's not a virgin. I hate it when guys claim that they're not, but they really are. Who are they trying to fool anyway?

cheazypeaz · #12 (**permalink**) 17-08-05, 10:50 AM

my gf had sex with 3 people before me... and she was only 17.. i was a virgin, at 16.. it bothered me, but then again i were a virgin.

however there is this bird who i think has had sex with more people than all the tea in china and well it would kinda worry me if i were to get with someone like that.

and lol at your point roxy... classic example of what i did, my first time lasted all of about 3 minuites, and once i was done, that was kinda it.. lol didnt know what to say.. i still remember the embarassment ..

took about 3 or 4 times before i realised she started enjoying it, and i was starting to hit the spots and she was enjoying it as much (she told me) so all in all, it was ok. if she had of taken the piss saying i was shit or useless that would of killed me .. lol.

RoxyFoxy · #13 (**permalink**) 18-08-05, 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheazypeaz

took about 3 or 4 times before i realised she started enjoying it, and i was starting to hit the spots and she was enjoying it as much (she told me) so all in all, it was ok. if she had of taken the piss saying i was shit or useless that would of killed me .. lol.

Oh no cheazypeaz. Don't get me wrong, I don't have the heart to tell a man that he was bad even if he was. I've been with 4 guys that have really been bad. But I never for one second let them know. I always told them that it felt amazing, and that they were great. Eventually, some of them learned. I'm a firm believer, that even men can learn.

I remember that there was this one guy whom I gave a blowjob to. It was my second time giving a blowjob, so I still didn't know much. But after he was done, a day passed by. I saw him again and when we were alone, I asked him how it was. He told me that I was horrible. That really hurt me, and I was just never in the mood to do it again. So I read up on it, asked my friends, and I met a new guy. In just 1 week and 6 blowbojs later, I was a pro.

See cheezy. It's all a matter of getting encouraged, and not being told that you suck. Women know this cheezy. If a girl tells you that you suck, which is very rare that she will, even if it so happens to be the truth, it means she really doesn't like you. If she did, she would try to encourage you. This is why I simply cannot tell a man that they are bad at sex. It makes things harder, but I'd rather it take him a little bit longer for him to learn things by himself, then me have to tell him he's bad, and sit there teaching him.

TAVS · #14 (**permalink**) 18-08-05, 04:24 AM

All I know is that if my woman doesn't tell me I suck, I have no reason to change. Their problem for being chicken-shit

RoxyFoxy · #15 (**permalink**) 18-08-05, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAVS

All I know is that if my woman doesn't tell me I suck, I have no reason to change. Their problem for being chicken-shit

It's not being chicken-shlt. Would you prefer it if your woman would turn around and tell you.

"You know what TAVS, just stop, I really don't enjoy it anyway, you're just awful"

?

I didn't think so either. But she's just trying to encourage you. I think "you're getting better" is the best thing you can say to a man. It lets the man know that he's not pleasing you to the best that he can, but he is getting there. It really gives him something to look foward to. And, he won't take it that personal. After all, "you're getting better" is a complement.