Multiples... - Love Forum

updraft · #1 (**permalink**) 18-08-05, 11:57 AM

Ok here is the deal. My ex-hub and I had a fairly good sex life. I would have multiple orgasms with him sometimes to the point of exhaustion.

My current lover and I have wonderful sex but he seems to only prefer doggy style. I lose out and we have ho-hum predictable sex. He makes me cum orally before we do doggy but after doggy he cums and thats it he's out for the night.

I miss the multiples I had (but not the ex-hub) but wish my bf would experiment more....I love missionary and the variable positions....I have the feeling he can't stay hard for longer than 5 minutes (my ex could for 20+ min) and I don't want to make him feel pressured or inadequate. We've talked about it before and he simply says he prefers doggy to any other position.

Do any others have this problem? Do some men just not have long erections, in other words, is it purely a physical thing or do you have to psyche yourselves up to stay hard for a long time??? Do some men prefer ONLY one position if it works best for them????

Ellynn · #2 (**permalink**) 18-08-05, 12:32 PM

Yeah I hear ya....I had an ex who could stay hard for 30min to an hr. I would have multiples being on top......... IT was great!

Then I dated a guy who didn't last that long...10 min tops.....but would get hard within 10 min and go for round 2 and sometimes for round 3..... That was nice....also.....but didn't seem as effective as the ex who could go for a long time.... I guess we just need more consistency.....

I would talk to your bf and let him know that even though doggy is his fav position....that you would like to try other positions as well. Then maybe he could finish off with doggy...... I know the guy I was seeing could last longer by stopping.....just for a moment or two....while inside me....and then he would go back to it. It seemed to work...to make it last a bit longer... Maybe to make your bf last longer he should do something like that and then maybe switch positions....that way you get a variety.

updraft · #3 (**permalink**) 18-08-05, 12:38 PM

Thanks Ellynn. I should approach him with the tantric idea. I just find the men I've been with so different. The ex was like the energizer bunny and the bf is the opposite.

The crazy thing is my bf is an athlete!!! Makes no friggen sense to me!! I love the sex my bf and I have but its missing variety. I do think its a psychological thing....he once said "I can only come doggy..." and then we ended up doing spoons position and he came !! Same with me on top... Men..

RoxyFoxy · #4 (**permalink**) 20-08-05, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by updraft

Thanks Ellynn. I should approach him with the tantric idea. I just find the men I've been with so different. The ex was like the energizer bunny and the bf is the opposite.

The crazy thing is my bf is an athlete!!! Makes no friggen sense to me!! I love the sex my bf and I have but its missing variety. I do think its a psychological thing....he once said "I can only come doggy..." and then we ended up doing spoons position and he came !! Same with me on top... Men..

Hyperactive men tend to have longer lasting erections, but last much shorter before they ejaculate. Then again, easy going fellows and the more relaxed type have a much shorter time of staying hard, if even really being hard at all during sex. I must say though, I'm not shur how they do it, but they last alot longer.

It also depends how excited you get him during sex. I must admit, sometimes, i'm just not really in the mood for sex, or i'm just plain lazy at the moment. I forget to get him all excited and hyped up, and it usually ends up making sex bad and frustrating for the both of us. Try acting all excited next time you and him are having sex, try to have some of that excitement rub off on him. He'll be so hard, you can hang a flag off his wang for hours.

Men can't really control how hard they get, or stay for that matter. It's really up to us. And I know that everytime I just don't put in the effort, I won't see the results.

RSK · #5 (**permalink**) 20-08-05, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by updraft

He makes me cum orally before we do doggy but after doggy he cums and thats it he's out for the night.

First of all, what you wrote above, makes me sick! I'm suprised nobody commented on it! Okay - I'm a virgin, so maybe I don't have much ground to talk - but I can't imagine busin' a nut, and then having to give someone oral. Giving oral should be part of the stimulation for me too, right? I think one partner getting off, followed by the next, is pure selfish by the last person to get off. Why not climax together? Okay, I understand some people consider themselves purely givers - but they way you described above seems dull! How would your man feel if you were to make him cum first, and then he had to pleasure you until it was your turn.

As far as your posts regarding 'girth' - I have to agree. You see, I'm a man - (I've never had sex), but I can tell you this. Our penis' have a mind of there own somethimes. It's all psychology - some people get aroused faster and therefore get excited faster, and cum faster. Others do not not get excited as fast. Imagine the millions upon millions of nerve fibres that conect the brain to the penis - it's CRAZY to think about! But it has a lot to do in the way we think.

Maybe he should pleasure you, and give you a little head start, and he should go, and maybe you finish at the same place!

As far as him wanting to stick to doggy style - that sucks (I personally can't relate to that kind of behavior from men). If I was in a sexual relationship - I'd try every concievable position!

updraft · #6 (**permalink**) 21-08-05, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RSK

Okay, I understand some people consider themselves purely givers - but they way you described above seems dull! How would your man feel if you were to make him cum first, and then he had to pleasure you until it was your turn. !

Um ok, thats the point, I find the sex BORING.... I don't have a problem pleasing him first but he never cums from oral stimulation ! He is the one who initiates pleasing me first. Then we always proceed to doggy. Always.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RSK

.... and maybe you finish at the same place! As far as him wanting to stick to doggy style - that sucks

Thats the problem...I would love for him and I to cum together, but for that to happen I need him to last longer than 5 minutes and he has to have me on my back ..missionary...he says he only cums doggy style....i think he just settles for the path of least resistence ....

RSK · #7 (**permalink**) 21-08-05, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by updraft

....i think he just settles for the path of least resistence ....

LET ME APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE - SORRY - I COULDN'T RESIST:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Living might mean taking chances

But they're worth taking

Lovin' might be a mistake

But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart

Leave you bitter

When you come close to selling out

Reconsider

Give the heavens above

More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(Rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who)

I hope you dance

(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)

(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(Rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who)

(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance

(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)

I hope you dance

(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)

(Where those years have gone)

updraft · #8 (**permalink**) 21-08-05, 12:46 AM

Geez you coulda just given me that one quote

RoxyFoxy · #9 (**permalink**) 21-08-05, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RSK

Sorry, I just didn't think it would be the same - BTW - I'm one more post away from the big 500

I see you've just reached a century.

RSK. Are you a poet of some make or what?

gHEXjt · #10 (**permalink**) 21-08-05, 09:30 AM

First of all, in response to wanting to cum together, I can definitely say that that does not make the sex as pleasurable for the man. At least in my case, the thing that turns me on more than anything else is a girl reaching orgasm, be it from me doing oral or during sex. There's nothing better than being a part of that and then finishing yourself.

Also, I understand this whole doggy-style thing. It is by far the best position for the man, but not as great for the woman. If your bf has a problem holding out from cumming, then there are a number of ways to make it last longer for you, and for him to also cum by way of doggy-style. You can have him start off w/missionary or something like that, and then if he thinks he may cum soon but doesn't want to that way, then switch positions. Just that short break when switching is enough to give him a second wind. Also, if you want him to last longer, make him let you be on top. I always enjoyed having the woman on top because although I don't find it quite as pleasurable, I gives me a breather and isn't nearly as straining on my dick in terms of cumming. Plus, I get to watch her squirm and have a great time, so its still awesome.

Also, what Ellynn said is 100% true. If he stops while your doing it, even for 30 seconds, it will increase the amount of time it takes him to cum tremendously. And then, once you're satisfied, tell him to do you doggy-style, and he can finish. If he acts like he doesn't like the idea of all this, YOU MAKE HIM DO IT ANYWAY. Once the whole thing happens once, he won't ever complain about it. Short breaks definitely help make guys last longer if they have problems with that, and if he loves to finish doggy-style, then he gets that at the end too. That way your both happy and the sex won't be as lame.

updraft · #11 (**permalink**) 21-08-05, 10:55 PM

Thanks for all your answers...all your advise helps....

-L

BlackRose · #12 (**permalink**) 24-08-05, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by updraft

Ok here is the deal. My ex-hub and I had a fairly good sex life. I would have multiple orgasms with him sometimes to the point of exhaustion.

My current lover and I have wonderful sex but he seems to only prefer doggy style. I lose out and we have ho-hum predictable sex. He makes me cum orally before we do doggy but after doggy he cums and thats it he's out for the night.

I miss the multiples I had (but not the ex-hub) but wish my bf would experiment more....I love missionary and the variable positions....I have the feeling he can't stay hard for longer than 5 minutes (my ex could for 20+ min) and I don't want to make him feel pressured or inadequate. We've talked about it before and he simply says he prefers doggy to any other position.

Do any others have this problem? Do some men just not have long erections, in other words, is it purely a physical thing or do you have to psyche yourselves up to stay hard for a long time??? Do some men prefer ONLY one position if it works best for them????

Have you tried talking to him? Don't attack him. Just talk to him. Don't compare him to your ex though. Just explain that you love how he pleasures you and you really want more orgasms because the way he gives them to you makes you feel so good. Buy a book of sex positions and make a game out of it. Tell him to pick a number (which will be a page number) and that is the position you have to try that night. It's worth a shot. Just don't compare him to your ex. Try resolving it in the civil way. It will get you where you want to be. Learn to manipulate basically. lol

updraft · #13 (**permalink**) 25-08-05, 12:24 PM

YES!!! How did you know?? We actually looked on Amazon.com for sex position books!!!!! This is a good idea, he actually got interested in seeing the different positions and is eager to try some....wish me luck!

BlackRose · #14 (**permalink**) 30-08-05, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by updraft

YES!!! How did you know?? We actually looked on Amazon.com for sex position books!!!!! This is a good idea, he actually got interested in seeing the different positions and is eager to try some....wish me luck!

That's awesome. Good luck. Keep us updated.

Late_vamp · #15 (**permalink**) 30-08-05, 04:08 PM

so basically , are you saying that in your sex life , men always pick their positions and you got no say in this ?

When i was with my gf , screw it , even before , i knew that in order for her to be happy i had to please her first and then make myself cum (some men dont get that ...it sounds obvious to me) , instead of him always being in charge , why dont you just go ahead and try the positions you want , tell him that you wanna get your brains ****ed the shit out like THIS, and THAT way , and then you do his doggy style to finish it off , having sex is not about being selfsih and pleasing yourself and thats that , maybe you should let him know that, without going to the whole amazon.com book search . if your gonna try positions , you could also try to watch some porn and whatever seems nice for BOTH , or pick at least one for each and try it .

just a thought . also , dirty talking and telling him what to do can be a turn on and then he might find out that he enjoyed it (maybe as much as doggy )