Lamo excuse or real? - Love Forum

RedAngl19 · #1 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 08:43 AM

I have a question for all guys. I've had some problems with my, hmm, sex life and I've written about it on here so some of you may know. OK, here's the deal...

First of all, I like sex. I may not be a nympho, but I like having sex with my man and I don't think atleast once a day is too much to ask. Well we usually have sex about once a week, which blows for me like you wouldn't believe. So I mentioned this to him and he said he just didn't have the sex drive he used to have (he previously mentioned to me about how many times a day (4-5) and for how long (over an hour) he used to have sex with his exes, why? I have no clue). Anyway, I though I'd spice it up. Then came the porn issue, which I also wrote about. When he finally came around, we watched some porn together and IT WAS GREAT! Second time around... not so great. He got me all hyped up and... let's say he was the only one pleased after those 10 FREAKING MINUTES! Anyway, I don't remember if this was before or after the porn thing, but we had the most amazing sex one day after we got home from work. It was spontaneous. He did things to me that I never even thought he knew about. For example, he told me from the beginning that he didn't like giving oral because of some odor issues his ex had. So I said no problem because though I do like it, it's not really something I would even ask to be done to me. So this day, he went all out... fingering, actually giving me oral (which he said he really enjoyed since I didn't have that problem), he did me every way possible!! It was amazing! So now that he had broken out of his shell, I thought it would be something like that from now on. So I waited, and I waited, and I waited. We had sex (the usual once a week), but it was the same sex as before... good, but not amazing. I asked him and he said, get this...

"I just don't want you to get used to it. It's not always going to be that way. That way it can stay fresh and won't grow old."

That was two months ago!! I want it again!! But he won't do it because "it'll grow old"!! Yeah, if you do it everyday, but we barely have sex as it is. So tell me guys, is this the lamest excuse ever?

ALovelyLady86 · #2 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 09:23 AM

Wow... thats odd for a mans behavior lol
Are you sure hes not getting it somewhere else, and then having it with you just because he "has to"?

mhussain · #3 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 11:17 AM

odd definitely odd

hussain

Sami09 · #4 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 11:33 AM

it does seen a bit odd for a guy. Maybe he isnt like most guys my man for sure like to go more then ones a week. How old is he? I wouldnt accused him of cheated because if he isnt then you will look really bad and he will feel you dont trust him. Good luck to you

updraft · #5 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 11:50 AM

Wow seems like you have to do all the motivating with this guy....unless you really love him and see a future with him I would move on....just my 2 cents

~L

musiclover · #6 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 12:25 PM

Sounds like he's full of B.S. to me... Either he's getting it from somewhere else or he has some sort of issue (emotional/physical). I would move on, you are too young (hell, we all are) to be staying with someone who doesn't think enough of you to either a) be honest with you or b) want to have sex with you more often.

bluesummer · #7 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 02:36 PM

I second that, I smell B.S. I've been with my bf for 3 years and we still have sex a minimum of twice a week. I'd seriously be concerned about his attitude, because sex ruts usually get worse if you don't really talk about it. A compatible sexual partner is still an essential part of a decent relationship, as much as people like to deny it. If he can't give you want you want, your relationship will suffer for it in the long run.

Only-virgins · #8 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 04:55 PM

How old is he? Sometimes sex drives do die.

shh! · #9 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 09:52 PM

[quote=RedAngl19]
So I mentioned this to him and he said he just didn't have the sex drive he used to have (he previously mentioned to me about how many times a day (4-5) and for how long (over an hour) he used to have sex with his exes, why?

---> Yeah, this doesn't sound true, even if he were at his peak. 4 or 5 hours a day? Who has the time? Maybe it happened once or twice, but certainly not on a regular basis.

For example, he told me from the beginning that he didn't like giving oral because of some odor issues his ex had. So I said no problem because though I do like it, it's not really something I would even ask to be done to me.

---> I wouldn't ASK for it, but it would be a problem for me not to have it. Why should you be so selfless? I don't think it is healthy.

"I just don't want you to get used to it. It's not always going to be that way. That way it can stay fresh and won't grow old". That was two months ago!! I want it again!! But he won't do it because "it'll grow old"!! Yeah, if you do it everyday, but we barely have sex as it is. So tell me guys, is this the lamest excuse ever?

---> It sounds to me like you have mismatched sex drives. He is right that not every experience can be extreme, so I wouldn't consider THAT the problem. I think he simply has a lower sex drive, which is sad for you, because as he ages it will diminish even more. Women usually hit their sexual peak (as far as desire goes) in their 30's, men in their 20's, so I would consider this very carefully if I were you.

And I kind of doubt he is cheating. Most women, even if they don't care one way or the other about sex, (and believe me, there are plenty of them around) still want their man to want them in a sexual way. It affirms to the woman that they are considered sexy and desirable. So basically, if he has a low sex drive, there would be no advatage for her. And if he's got a low sex drive, what would be point of cheating from his point of view?

Sal329 · #10 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 11:09 PM

I feel ya. My girlfriend would tell me stories and all and how much she loves sex and this and that. It was good at first then we had a month where it was great and now she is all like ah we just did it last week... It drives me nuts I need it atleast once a day at minimum but now its like once a week and wont even mention last time I got head...

Only-virgins · #11 (**permalink**) 01-06-05, 02:41 AM

I can see it all-ready.

Girl: "OMG! All you think about is sex! sex sex sex! what about our relationship!? bla bla bla bla bla"

::fast forwards to her 30's and the guys 30's::

Girl: "Why wont you give me sex..why why why why why!?"

Hey dumb bimbos...were where you when we wanted it?!

misombra · #12 (**permalink**) 01-06-05, 03:13 AM

ONCE A DAY AT LEAST!!!? my gawd you bunch of freakin' nymphos!

shh! · #13 (**permalink**) 01-06-05, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

I can see it all-ready.

Girl: "OMG! All you think about is sex! sex sex sex! what about our relationship!? bla bla bla bla bla"

::fast forwards to her 30's and the guys 30's::

Girl: "Why wont you give me sex..why why why why why!?"

Hey dumb bimbos...were where you when we wanted it?!

I see that you are well-prepared for married life! But you see, the solution is for women to connect with younger men, because then their sexual peaks will be occurring at the same time.

And I really hope you are not calling me a dumb bimbo! And why isn't there one of those little smiley faces with it tongue sticking out or giving you the finger? haha

Only-virgins · #14 (**permalink**) 01-06-05, 03:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

I see that you are well-prepared for married life! But you see, the solution is for women to connect with younger men, because then their sexual peaks will be occurring at the same time.

Yet the opposite happens...odd.....

I wasnt speaking directly to you...just to all girls who complain about sex...as far as I thought...woman were supposed to be the ones that can go on months with out it.

shh! · #15 (**permalink**) 01-06-05, 03:39 AM

I guess some can go without for months, but usually that is when they are younger from what iI have learned from my sisters and female friends. I'm telling you - something happens to women in their thirties. I think that women in their thirties are more likely to ask for what they want, are more likely to expect to enjoy the experience, and (my apologies to any who may be offended) men by then may have fine tuned their skill level and have become more "process-oriented" than "goal-oriented", if you know what I mean...