"Sex is Just Sex" or Not? for the Men - Love Forum

clynn · #1 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:35 AM

We often hear how men and women have different approaches to sex. That men can have sex without feelings attached and they are able to separate their feelings for a person from their physical desires.

Would all men agree that this is the case for them?

Are there any men that don't make this separation? Either consciously or unconsiously?

TAVS · #2 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:41 AM

Sure, there's no problem separating the physical verse the emotional. However, I have very little interest in sex with someone I dont have feelings for. I've only been with two women and I loved them both. But I'm a different person than I was last time I was 'single' so time will tell. I probably wouldn't turn down an opportunity given my current dry spell but its hard to say

carpflounder · #3 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:41 AM

No, some men feel both when they have sex. For me, its situational, I have sensitive feelings for my gf...but not just for anyone.

And its the feelings that matter, sex is just a carnal, physical kinda thing.

clynn · #4 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAVS

Sure, there's no problem separating the physical verse the emotional.

I agree. This isn't me passing judgement (I like indulging in the carnal / physical too), just curious about the old adage re: men and wondering how equally it applies to many men.

misombra · #5 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:44 AM

do you feel bad about it?

i'm not trying to judge or anything, i'm just wondering.

TAVS · #6 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

do you feel bad about it?

i'm not trying to judge or anything, i'm just wondering.

What's there to feel bad about? I dont understand the question

Ya know I was thinking, there are exceptions to the rule. One reason I would be hesitant to sleep with someone I recently met, is because my heart still belongs to someone else. That alone could be enough to stop me. But lets say I was a single guy, no broken heart, etc.....I could sleep with someone I didnt have feelings for....isn't that what lust is all about??

shh! · #7 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:50 AM

I am jealous. I wish women could do that without emotions being involved...

gHEXjt · #8 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:53 AM

I've never done it without emotions being involved, but I'm certain I could. Its now been almost 3 months for me and I am getting desperate. I know I'd feel bad about using a girl, but in my current state of desperation, I am only thinking with my meat and its driving me crazy.

TAVS · #9 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

I am jealous. I wish women could do that without emotions being involved...

Sure you can. I'll be right over.

shh! · #10 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 07:54 AM

No, TAVS. I would become emotionally involved and turn into a stalker. And then I'd have to boil your pet bunny, or something like that.
:-D

Seb87 · #11 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 08:03 AM

Im 18 and I am alot diffrent then other males my age.

I wont have sex with someone who I do not love. I just cant do it.
Im in college right now and alot of my friends get girls drunk and bang em and then take em home..

I just cant do it. Specially now. I just split up with my first love, and I cant really do anything with a girl and not think of her. So in other words I dont mess with girls because it just isnt fair to be kissing someone and be thinking of someone else. Thats just me..... Im a sentimental guy I think....

misombra · #12 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAVS

What's there to feel bad about? I dont understand the question

Ya know I was thinking, there are exceptions to the rule. One reason I would be hesitant to sleep with someone I recently met, is because my heart still belongs to someone else. That alone could be enough to stop me. But lets say I was a single guy, no broken heart, etc.....I could sleep with someone I didnt have feelings for....isn't that what lust is all about??

you have a point.

but don't cheat on me cause i'll kick you in the balls.

disasterjohn · #13 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 08:04 AM

for me.... sex is important part of a relationship.. and its something both sides want to do and for it to be apart of the building blocks of a full/wholesome relationship. There are so many ways to show your partner that you love them... simply just telling them... poems.. flowers... a simple kiss... and making love. its all apart of it and shouldnt be a chore or something you detatch from the emotional side.

Only-virgins · #14 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 10:17 AM

For me sex is so important that well....read my name.

BFTrick · #15 (**permalink**) 20-09-05, 10:52 AM

sex can be emotional and/or physical.

some guys value the physical more, some value the emotional more. i think the people that are the happiest are the ones that enjoy both aspects equally.

because of this i think that some "cheating" is ok. for example, i would have let my gf have sex with other people during the school year (which i would never be able to see her). this would be ok as long as its purely physical, as soon as she has emotions for that guy it would mean real cheating to me.