Coffee addict seeks geek girl. - Love Forum

decaffeinated · #1 (**permalink**) 24-10-04, 02:49 AM

I hate introduction threads. Oh well...

I'm one of those guys. Computer geek (although I'm not a gamer). 20 year old virgin. Never had a girlfriend. Never kissed anyone. Girls hate me. No hope... no reason to live...

decaffeinated chambers a round...

um... right. Anyway, I joined hoping to get some advice, and maybe understand what I'm doing wrong. And maybe I can make a suggestion or two about some topic I know nothing about while I'm at it.

b

I'm currently working as a web designer, and attending college. I'm not saying where, because you'd all laugh and make fun of me. I've been reading this forum for a little while, and the seamless blend of inspiring brilliance and abject stupidity is fascinating. Hopefully I'll become a regular.

See you all around!

blue · #2 (**permalink**) 24-10-04, 03:02 AM

welcome enyoy you saty and aly off the cafine

Tomek · #3 (**permalink**) 24-10-04, 11:21 AM

hey enjoy your stay here

, dont worry man, there is always someone for someone ^_^

abercromqt20 · #4 (**permalink**) 24-10-04, 10:59 PM

you sound exactly like my friend chris....... too bad one of you isn't a girl, then i co uld set u up. jk

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 25-10-04, 05:42 PM

wow girls don't like you?? maybe you're doing something wrong... like cross dressing or soemthing. you probably have to change your approach.

raverboy

jane · #6 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 07:09 AM

ROFL.. whats up Decaf...

Welcome..

nomas · #7 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 07:25 AM

Welcome, Decaff,

So you're a cross-dresser? I would agree that this diminishes your chances with girls because most girls don't go for that sort of thing. You can increase your chances by dressing in the more traditional male's attire.

Freddie

(heh, heh..this is how rumors get started)

jane · #8 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 07:26 AM

What? He's a cross dresser? Man, you are never gunna get laid.

Illusional · #9 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 07:26 AM

how do rumors get started??

raverboy

nomas · #10 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 07:35 AM

But seriously, this time...I, myself, was a late bloomer..but I was never one to ask what I was doing wrong, because I knew exactly what the answer was..as I'm sure you probably know too. It's almost common sense. If someone described their situation, you'd have all kinds of good advice for this person too..whether it's things you've read or things that made sense to you and were always on your mind, but you never articulated them. For me it was not a matter of what am I doing wrong..or what am I not doing..but rather, the why? Why don't I do what I know I should do.

Do you know the answer to that for yourself? If someone presented the same presented this situation you've described to us to you..what advice would you give him? Of this advice, have you done these thing?

Why??

That is the question. If your head is anything like mine, anyway.

Freddie

decaffeinated · #11 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freddie

Do you know the answer to that for yourself? If someone presented the same presented this situation you've described to us to you..what advice would you give him? Of this advice, have you done these thing?

I have a few problems. One of them is my living at home. I'm doing it because it's the most financially responsible thing I can do, but let's face it - girls are attracted to independent guys. Another problem is that I don't drink or party, which is where most people seem to meet girls. Another problem is that I was home schooled, and thus I have been isolated since 2nd grade (when I left public school.) Ergo, I have no high school sweet heart. Those seem to be my biggest problems. I dress fine, I look good, I'm friendly, I'm funny... I don't see any personality issues.

The key, it seems, is just to ask out as many girls as possible. Eventually, one of them is going to say yes. But the problem is that I don't want to date random girls - that's a recipe for an incompatible relationship. I usually watch a girl for a while to gauge her personality and likes/dislikes. THEN I make the decision whether or not I want to ask her out. Unfortunately, that's time consuming and vaguely stalker-ish, so I don't really have the enrgy to do it very often.

I want to be one of those guys women throw themselves at. "OH MY GOD CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES PLEASE!?" What's with those guys anyway?

1) As in I dress well, not that I make a good piece of furniture.

nomas · #12 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 09:12 AM

The parallels continue..

I saw this in me too. I always thought of myself as "too mature" for playing games. Unfortunately, they call it "the dating game" for a reason...and most people play it. From your own advice I gather that you're not out there playing the field as much. Maybe, like me, you've seen too many movies, rather than have been out there experiencing life for yourself, and while realistic in that you know life isn't like in the movies, you can't seem to feel like you can just blend right in to the scene..hitting the ground running. So you stick to what your good at, the social scene not being it.

Me...though I'm only 6 years your senior...find it difficult to get in the "game" because I feel my convictions are too well set now that change feels like hypocracy. I do crave some of the stories I hear about the decadent and debaucherious behavior that goes on. I know my chances are greatly reduced by electing to continue with my current behavior and lifestyle, and maybe it's that my hormones are not raging the way they once were, but I've made my decision. As I am, my greatest chances at romance will come from girls who come to know me well and see that while I don't have "game" I have my own brand of "substance". (because everyone can define substance differently)

I think that's kinda where you stand....and here's where you make a decision. Try to change your ways a little more toward the social/extroverted atmosphere where there are more options..and I'm not asking you to drink. I don't drink myself. But know that, yeah, this may hurt your game some. But above all, tweaking your own advice.., no, don't "ask out as many girls as possible", but definitely approach them and make them your friend. If you have all the qualities you mentioned, they'll see it in the friends phase and it may develop into a relationship.

IMHO

Freddie

decaffeinated · #13 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 09:28 AM

Nomas,

Very wise words, you speak. Yoda, they remind me of. Make me want to talk backwards, they do.

Your insight confirms what I have been pondering for a while. If you check my "Existing boyfriend == bad" thread, you'll note that it's the general strategy I'm taking with a girl right now. And it seems to be paying off. (b^_^)b

"Good friends make the best lovers." Now I've just gotta wait for Mr. Perfect to screw up, then I move in.

nomas · #14 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 10:26 AM

Well, these days I'm too careful to use any words thare sound too concrete...so I'll sound wise in not being too specific. Like horoscopes!

But, yeah, I would agree with the friends first..and if it happens, good, but I would be mindful not to force anything. Nothing better than letting things fall into place naturally, though it requires patience...MAD patience.

Freddie

decaffeinated · #15 (**permalink**) 26-10-04, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nomas

Nothing better than letting things fall into place naturally, though it requires patience...MAD patience.

I have already resolved not to push or force anything. If the relationship is to evolve into something more than a friendship, either (1) she'll have to initiate it or (2) her situation with el boyfriend will have to dissolve, thus rendering her "available."

If all goes according to plan, I'll be teaching giving her computer lessons soon. That will be fun. I'ma turn her into an ubergeek, like me. Antivirus on. Spyware off. You are doing well, grasshopper.