I simply don't understand her - Love Forum

unknown001 · #1 (**permalink**) 13-05-08, 12:59 AM

Hi,

I've met this girl a few weeks ago and it seemed like she was interested as she asked if I've got anything like MSN (i.e she asked me for my MSN contact). However, later on we've met several times again but recently I think she somehow lost interest as we wouldn't talk to each other if I wasn't the one who starts the conversation all the time. I'm feeling like I was acting clingy and she is just being polite ..

regards

Kromat · #2 (**permalink**) 13-05-08, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknown001

Hi,

I've met this girl a few weeks ago and it seemed like she was interested as she asked if I've got anything like MSN
(i.e she asked me for my MSN contact). However, later on we've met several times again but recently I think she
somehow lost interest as we wouldn't talk to each other if I wasn't the one who starts the conversation all the time.
I'm feeling like I was acting clingy and she is just being polite ..

regards

Girls hate to start conversations, as you have to ask her what you'd like to know about her and she'll offer an answer.
If she is interested in what your saying, she'll ask you some questions to get to know you,
but don't assume that she'll start whenever you approach her.
Girls are approached all the time, so they have to have some sort of defense mechanism
to separate the guys that have confidence or just want to get in the sac.
Girls are clever, that's why we need to play on their field and try to crack down their defense
to have a good conversation and eventually a trust factor that will guarantee you a way in.

Tedel · #3 (**permalink**) 13-05-08, 11:19 PM

If you are wanting to understand women, you're losing your time at all. That's an utopia...

OK, seriously now. She gave you a chance, you didn't take the initiative, now she took your chance away. Better luck next time.

Illusional · #4 (**permalink**) 13-05-08, 11:24 PM

i think that you've answered your own question.

raverboy

unknown001 · #5 (**permalink**) 14-05-08, 05:16 AM

Hi,

during the last few days I avoided to be the one who makes the first move in order to determine if she was just being polite (I know that's stupid, but .. nevermind!). However, it didn't work (fortunately) as it seems that she doesn't want to lose contact with me (i.e for once she made the first move), but still we're just talking about ridiculous topics which meens we're somehow just scratching the surface which wouldn't be too bad if wanted just a platonic friendship. For example, she asks me how to do this or that on her own which wouldn't be too bad again as it seems that she's interested in my job (all these questions relate to my job and she knows that) but I'd be glad if she could think of some other questions about me ..

regards

Gigabitch · #6 (**permalink**) 14-05-08, 05:29 AM

Dude, I can't even explain what girls do half the time and I am one. She sounds like a flake. Let it go and move on- you can't let stuff like that get to you.

Mishanya · #7 (**permalink**) 15-05-08, 12:07 PM

What are yous talking about, women are easy. Such simple creatures. It's all about feelings with them. Make her feel good and happy and she'll be yours forever.

unknown001 · #8 (**permalink**) 21-05-08, 04:05 AM

Hi,

during the last few days she somehow managed to confuse me more than I already had been before. On the one hand she asked me whether I was jealous of her visiting a cousin ("Jealous??? ^^" via MSN) or wanted to know whether I liked her (of course, she has asked this question more subtle and so did I when answering it), but on the other hand she straightforward told me that unfortunately I'm the only person she knows of who is able to kill a joke via MSN! I meen, come on, that's not something I'm going to say if I like him or her, even though she immediately mentioned afterwards that that's only true for our MSN conversations ..

regards

Kromat · #9 (**permalink**) 21-05-08, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

What are yous talking about, women are easy. Such simple creatures. It's all about feelings with them. Make her feel good and happy and she'll be yours forever.

I thought guys were simple? If women are ez, then why are there so many single men? because their standards are so high. a guy can try as hard as he can to make her feel good, but if he's not a wealthy peson like a doctor or athlete, or another high paying profession, and so resemble the looks of a model, then she'll just forget you exist when you might be such a caring or respectful person.
People most of the time are shallow, that's why most marriages end in divorce.
Like for me, I've been over-weight almost all my life until I just didn't want to feel that way a more, so I observed the food I was eating and how much water I was drinking and made adjustments to have a balance.
Started to exercise as well and in 1 year i managed to lose 40 Ibs. and now I've kept it off for 3 years now.
There are a lot more healthy females then men, so we have a lot more choice, so us guys shouldn't have any excuses, if we can't find the one We're looking for.
Men tend to work longer hours, and as a result neglect what they est and what their body needs for nutrition, that it gets stored as fat and fatigue settles, along with the joints not being able to carry the load.
Have a serious conversation about it to her in person, if you feel the situation seems right, then just go for it.
If it won't work, just forget it and go to the next one, with slo many possibilities ( Lottery ), you can't lose

typhi · #10 (**permalink**) 27-05-08, 10:19 PM

I got some kinda similar problem with a girl. I hope you're willing to help me with this one.
The story started 4-5 months ago, I liked her very much and we met on a party, spoke with each other etc. I had managed to get in contact with her by MSN and we had been speaking for 2 months when I asked her if she liked me or not. She didn't reply to the certain question but said immediately that I didn't have a chance. We were speaking a lot and I'm now one of his best friends, and she's told me recently that she lied and I would have a chance. I was very happy but she was going out with another boy who she's always quarreling with and the boy has already cheated on her many times. I'm now waiting for them to break, but I believe that she thinks our relationship is only a friendship and nothing more. But I think we could love each other because she showed this on many occasions.

this is my story sorry for its lenght but i'm very sad now and I wanted to share it with someone... and I'm also sorry for my English

Pears · #11 (**permalink**) 27-05-08, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknown001

Hi,

during the last few days she somehow managed to confuse me more than I already had been before. On the one hand she asked me whether I was jealous of her visiting a cousin ("Jealous??? ^^" via MSN) or wanted to know whether I liked her (of course, she has asked this question more subtle and so did I when answering it), but on the other hand she straightforward told me that unfortunately I'm the only person she knows of who is able to kill a joke via MSN! I meen, come on, that's not something I'm going to say if I like him or her, even though she immediately mentioned afterwards that that's only true for our MSN conversations ..

regards

Yes, she was just joking with you and you killed the joke. Don't take things so seriously. Keep it casual. Seems like that's what she wants.

Mishanya · #12 (**permalink**) 28-05-08, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kromat

I thought guys were simple? If women are ez, then why are there so many single men? because their standards are so high. a guy can try as hard as he can to make her feel good, but if he's not a wealthy peson like a doctor or athlete, or another high paying profession, and so resemble the looks of a model, then she'll just forget you exist when you might be such a caring or respectful person.

Ba, stuff all that. It's just social conditioning. What women really want is feel happy on the inside. And I don't mean with material posessions either. Just happy, make her laugh and feel good on the inside. If you can make a woman feel that and do that for a long period of time any woman is yours. Most other flaws and lacking qualities will be forgiven if you can do that one little thing.

Men aren't complicated either. As Indi says as long as the woman can "Keep their stomach full and the balls empty"

Most problems occur through miscommunication, misunderstanding and both trying to deny each other the above. It takes patience and consistent persitence to cultivate it.

unknown001 · #13 (**permalink**) 29-05-08, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pears

Yes, she was just joking with you and you killed the joke. Don't take things so seriously. Keep it casual. Seems like that's what she wants.

Maybe it's just me, but I would never ever say something like that to the person I adore and therefore I don't assume that she likes me the same way.

Recently she also talks to me when she's rather sorrowful which causes me somehow to be trapped in an emotional rollercoaster as I'm both overjoyed and sorry at the same time (hey, she talks to _me_ about her problems! ... but it seems that regrettably I'm not able to help her regardless of how much I strive). However, there's nothing I'd prefer to talking with her and if I don't meet her at least once per week (not necessarily when going out) it feels like we haven't talked in ages.

Babydoll · #14 (**permalink**) 29-05-08, 06:18 AM

I think you need to understand that girls like two things; to tease and for you to be there for them. When she says 'you killed a joke'.. she's trying to wind you up. If you didn't know.. it's a kind of flirting. For a start.. if you don't feel comfortable with the way she flirts.. you may as well not go any further with her.
My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half.. and we never argue about things which really matter.. we just bicker. He always calls me 'chubbs' even though I'm 7 stone 10 and a black belt in karate.. and I always call him 'fat ****' even though hes a snowboard and weights instructor. It's fun to make a joke out of things and fun to take the piss.
If she's relying on you for emotional support.. that's a good thing. You don't have to do anything more than talk to her and be there for her when she needs you to listen. You should be glad that she's playing it cool and not acting like a clingy moron.

IndiReloaded · #15 (**permalink**) 29-05-08, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

As Indi says as long as the woman can "Keep their stomach full and the balls empty"

That was Giga. I just happen to be a member of that tribe of believers.

Its a bit more complicated. Mine actually expects intelligent conversation & problem solving abilities. But when I occassionally drop the ball on those, the first two usually carry me through.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

What are yous talking about, women are easy. Such simple creatures. It's all about feelings with them. Make her feel good and happy and she'll be yours forever.

Its true about the laughing. I had the best belly laugh I've had in in months just a couple weeks ago & I can still feel the 'after chuckles' if I think about it.

Just walking sacs of hormones, eh Mish? LOL. Belike.

I posted an excerpt somewhere about what to look for in a partner. Laughter was a BIG one.