are relationships worth it over being available to the wind? - Love Forum

Austinn · #1 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 07:46 AM

Im in a situation where I could get into a relationship(s) but I like being free to do what I want when I want and not having to have restraints on my activities.

I like to do what I like to do, and I just duno if going into relationships is worth it. Ah yes I should mention these wouldnt be the relationships where you end up getting married, im only 20, but more the type of, eh, we're messing around so we call it a relationship type of thing.

Like is it even worth it to get into those type of relationships, or is it just better when your my age to keep just an open ended friendship so to speak, with no real constraints or binds? Cuzz I dont like being subject to relationship-type constraints in my current lifestyle, im not exactly in serious mode yet is what I guess im saying.

Also I dont have a job that pays above slave labor wages yet

so I am not interested in blowing my paychecks on girls that are essentially "have a fun time with" and be done with girls. Im willing to spend money of course, but not the type that a whole-9-yards relationship would require.

I assume what im asking is, to those of you who were once or are in the same type of mindset atm, are those semi-serious relationships that you know wont end up going anywhere but just exist anyways for the sake of it worth it or is being open/avaliable to whatever comes my way better for now?

vashti · #2 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 08:11 AM

Why don't you just date casually? It doesn't sound like you like this girl enough to sacrifice anything (which is fine), so why label this as anything more than you want? Not everyone finds it necessary to commit themselves to one person, especially at such a young age.

I do suggest you keep dating, however. The experience will come in handy when you meet a girl that matters.

Mishanya · #3 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 08:40 AM

I think relationships at your age are good experience, even if they don't work out they make you grow. It's good to keep that in mind.

But if you're not interested there's nothing wrong with dating casually. There are a lot of opportunities for that out there.

Riyko · #4 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 09:46 AM

I think casual relationships are good to help you grow as a person and also they give you experience. I was that way when I was around 17-18 years old.

1averagejoe · #5 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 10:07 AM

I'm kinda going through this right now.

I'm broke, minimum wage sucks, I like buying myself stuff...expensive stuff, I've got a list of things I want to buy myself, none of which are cheap. And let's face it, relationships aren't cheap.

I know the chances of us getting married at this age is pretty darn slim. But that's besides the point. There's this one girl I really like, and she's the sweetest girl ever. And I think I'd enjoy being in a relationship with her that is more than just the sex. I don't even see her that way. I see it as a learning experience and a way to share a part of your life with someone else. Even if it's not for the rest of your life.

Sex is overrated if you ask me. Not saying it's not good though

.

Austinn · #6 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 12:16 PM

Thanks for all the replies yall.

Yes thats another thing, I dont generally spend money on small things, other than Thai food which I must have. I save up for big things like nice tv's/fish tanks/better PC and other expensive stuff. So a relationship really would cramp my style I think. Im going to just continue on the way im going now, instead of get into a emo-fest, unrealistic relationship, cuzz I have seen what that does to someone. One of my bro's spent all his money on this girls birthday, and then they split some weeks later. Come to think of it though, if I found a girl I had to have, and she wanted a relationship, ironically I'd for sure end up doing it anyways lawl so its sorta silly worrying about it in a sense..

lovecot · #7 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 01:06 PM

Just let thing happen naturally. After all, you are only 20, there are a lot of things ahead of you

IndiReloaded · #8 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 01:09 PM

As a friend of mine said:

Don't get married. Just find a girl you like & give her your house.

misombra · #9 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 01:13 PM

i've heard kinda the same thing once... "just find a woman who hates you and buy her a house." lol funny.

bohemiandonut · #10 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 01:30 PM

I think you know where the answer is blowing, my friend.

DharmicLove · #11 (**permalink**) 17-04-08, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Austinn

Im in a situation where I could get into a relationship(s) but I like being free to do what I want when I want and not having to have restraints on my activities.

I like to do what I like to do, and I just duno if going into relationships is worth it. Ah yes I should mention these wouldnt be the relationships where you end up getting married, im only 20, but more the type of, eh, we're messing around so we call it a relationship type of thing.

Like is it even worth it to get into those type of relationships, or is it just better when your my age to keep just an open ended friendship so to speak, with no real constraints or binds? Cuzz I dont like being subject to relationship-type constraints in my current lifestyle, im not exactly in serious mode yet is what I guess im saying.

Also I dont have a job that pays above slave labor wages yet

so I am not interested in blowing my paychecks on girls that are essentially "have a fun time with" and be done with girls. Im willing to spend money of course, but not the type that a whole-9-yards relationship would require.

I assume what im asking is, to those of you who were once or are in the same type of mindset atm, are those semi-serious relationships that you know wont end up going anywhere but just exist anyways for the sake of it worth it or is being open/avaliable to whatever comes my way better for now?

I think a relationship would be great for you. You sound like you're quite open to it. The problem with you is that, which is not necessarily negative, but you seem to be a bit of a free spirit. Set some boundaries. Let this girl know from the jump that you like to be free to do what you want to do, and you dont like restraints. She'll more than likely understand your free spirited nature.

You guys' "messing around" could turn into something much more deeper, you just never know. Take the chance.

Nice Lover Boy · #12 (**permalink**) 18-04-08, 03:08 AM

Yo, Austin buddy, I use to be the same way in mind.
I got into a relationship when I was 19. I wasn't ready because I still wanted to go out and test the waters with other women. So, relationship didn't work and went around and dated and had fun, if you know what I mean.

I didn't want strings attached, but I also couldn't be alone too.

But just go out and date and it was never about the money for me..I actually enjoy getting gifts for all my dates and part time GF's...live to the fullest.

Gigabitch · #13 (**permalink**) 18-04-08, 05:17 AM

Austinn, it sounds to me like you're not ready, so don't commit yourself to anyone. You'll only hurt her.

anachronistic · #14 (**permalink**) 18-04-08, 08:18 AM

If you're not having fun, why are you even seeking out girls? Do you just need an occasional beege, or some poon? Just buy a hooker; that should suffice.

Austinn · #15 (**permalink**) 18-04-08, 11:10 AM

Na hookers I wouldnt consider until I could afford the ones that I can be assured are clean, to much sick stuff out there now for that type of thing I think. Also I dont need prostitutes yet heh, maybe when im an old lecher type who's got money to burn +), but im still young, still got my high quality and superiority complex so to speak, I can get the girls, I just dont want the baggage atm, just want what I want, which is not whats in a relationship.