A bit of a dilemma.. - Love Forum

BlackOrchid · #1 (**permalink**) 06-08-04, 03:32 PM

Ok..I have been going out with my girlfriend for 2 weeks now and we haven't even kissed yet.

Both her and I are shy, and she's considerably very shy..

We both want to kiss, but are both afraid to initiate. We have discussed this issue already. We both realized that we want to do it, but think a bunch of different questions and it makes it too hard to do anything. Questions such as: "When do I do it?", "What type of kiss?", "How long of a kiss?", etc.

All of these questions racing through our minds plus us both being very shy doesn't help any.

There is also the factor that she has this tendancy due to shyness where when someone kisses her she usually laughs and/or backs away.

Now the backing away will not be a problem as she has suggested for me to hold her not letting her back away or to pin her against something like a wall, but the laughing may be an issue.

So if you take everything into consideration you have 2 very shy people that think too much about the situation, and not to mention I'm her second boyfriend, and she's like my fourth girlfriend (serious wise at least)..so we're both not very experienced in the matter.

I guess what I'm asking is for some advice for a shy thinker on how to initiate without fear, and maybe whether or not I should french or peck and/or a long kiss.

Can anyone help me? I reallllllly like this girl, and want to make our relationship the best thing ever..

Spanaway55 · #2 (**permalink**) 06-08-04, 10:34 PM

i had the same exact problem with my girlfriend. She had never really kissed anyone, and she was pretty nervous, andyways we went out, and the whole day before all she did was tell me how she wanted me to, she wanted me to, so when the time came i moved in for the kiss, and she backed off..

i was like ???WHA?? and she started crying. she was like "im afraid ill be bad or something!!" and i was just like

. ok so i got over her shyness and went to the movies, i kept on seeing her looking at me like "are you gonna kiss me??" so i made sure her head was againsed the chair, and i went for it.. I made it, at first it was a long full lipped peck, but then i opened my mouth and we did an opened mouth kiss with no tounge. And she said it was great! it was a perfect way to conquer her shyness, she knows that i dc what kind of kisser she is and everything. So now she actually gets mad when i dont kiss her! hehe

she loves to kiss now. Just make sure your girl knows that you really care for her, and you want to, and just go for it, you have nothing to lose

Spanaway55 · #3 (**permalink**) 06-08-04, 10:37 PM

oh yea P.S. after that first kiss, slip the tounge on her the next time! my gf said it was "the tastyest surprise i ever got!" so use tounge like the 2nd or third real kiss!

BlackOrchid · #4 (**permalink**) 07-08-04, 02:42 AM

Hmm..

I have one quick question that's going to sound a bit..well anyways..

A long peck you say? When you peck..and it's long..do you just keep your lips touching hers for a long period or something..because a peck doesn't seem like a kiss that's great long.. I probably don't make sense..but ya..heh..

Spanaway55 · #5 (**permalink**) 07-08-04, 05:10 AM

well i meant a long peck, as in a loose, pucker up kiss. just lips. for like 5 seconds then start opening and closing your mouth, your question made perfect sense!
let us know man!

BlackOrchid · #6 (**permalink**) 07-08-04, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spanaway55

well i meant a long peck, as in a loose, pucker up kiss. just lips. for like 5 seconds then start opening and closing your mouth, your question made perfect sense!
let us know man!

Well me and her usually are all like freeze up this freeze up that, but tonight we were holding hands, holding each other, etc..it was nice.

Once I had to go I hugged her and went in for a kiss, but she claimed to have chapped lips so I kissed her cheek. We hugged a second time and I was gonna kiss her regardless, but she backed away..it was so cute..oh well I'll get her next time

KaWaiiSkYe · #7 (**permalink**) 07-08-04, 12:42 PM

GOOD LUCK!! Tell us how it goes!

mrnobody · #8 (**permalink**) 10-08-04, 03:48 AM

JUST DO IT!~~You have to have the confidence.... Start with peck, then work you magic in... Grab the girl and show her that your a man...

mrnobody · #9 (**permalink**) 10-08-04, 03:49 AM

You are a man.... Right?!?!?!

swimmingNreverie · #10 (**permalink**) 10-08-04, 08:50 PM

haha yeah, definitely just do it. there's nothing to be worried about!

tooxshort · #11 (**permalink**) 11-08-04, 09:17 AM

you'll know when you're ready ... kissing is pretty natural, I think ... just think of some romantic comedy where *that* music is playing and go for it ... I dunno, it kind of feels like a movie sometimes ... like you're in ur own world ...

BUT ANYWAY, YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE DAMN WELL READY!

Rêveur · #12 (**permalink**) 11-08-04, 09:40 AM

This might sound cheesy, but u can try rubbing her back a little. Only with slight touches though. I remember my first kiss was like that, I had gone out with my boyfriend for only two weeks and never got the nerve to kiss him, then one day we're talking and he's just rubbing my back almost nonchalantly. Next thing you know, BAM! I tackled the poor booger.

kanzaki · #13 (**permalink**) 05-09-04, 07:27 AM

if i were u, i get over my shyness and PIN her. That will make me melt XP

but then again,u can always try a peck

LucidDream · #14 (**permalink**) 05-09-04, 09:21 AM

Seams like the general opinion is to force it on her, lol.
How lovely