what do you talk about when introducing yourself to a girl? - Love Forum

bball_1523 · #1 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 03:42 AM

I am in a situation where I want to talk to a girl that I've been interested in, but I do not know her and I have not formally introduced myself yet, and I don't have much in mind to say yet.

I was wondering if any of you have any experience in situations like these where there is an opportunity to talk to a girl you like, but you've never met her before, and you want to introduce yourself and have a starting conversation. What kind of things do you talk about that make the conversation worthwhile and continue the relationship further?

I have a situation where I have at least 10 min to go up to a girl at school and talk to her. I can go up and introduce myself, but I don't have much else in mind to say that will relate to the introduction stage. I know there aren't any rules, but I want to learn from your guys' experiences and opinions, and then gather my own ideas together.

To give a little background on how I started to find myself infatuated with her, it all started during the first week of college, this past august. During that first week I was keeping an eye out on many women to see if there are any potential girls that I'd like to talk to and expand a relationship with. I was working one day (I work on campus) and this one girl about my height came there and I thought she was really cute. I didn't think too much about her, but after seeing her more often at work and at school, for some reason I started developing a huge interest in her. I liked the way she was walking and the way she looked while walking. I don't know her or what she's up to, but she seems like a shy girl, and I find that highly attractive for some weird reason. I think it's because I'm a shy guy myself and I can relate. So it has been about 2 months since school started and I have a deep interest in her and I want to talk to her and get to know her. Everytime I see her, I feel like smiling for some reason. I get this feeling inside that sparks me to smile and I just want to fall in love with her. For some reason I find that I have a few opportunities to talk to her where she is sitting alone. Sometimes I think she's looking at me, but I don't know for sure. I can't make any assumptions yet, neither can I expect everything to be perfect yet, But I have a lot of hope and want to make the best out of this opportunity.

So what do you guys think I should do? I definitely want to make a move before it's too late, and I want to say the right things that will let her know who I really am. Now I know there's no perfect way to do things, but I want to get an idea of what I can at least try to do. Thanks

Rosebud · #2 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 04:17 AM

I would just go for it and walk up to her and introduce yourself. Mention something you notice about her like " oh your taking chemistry" and take the converstaion from there. Talk about interests or simple things like that.

whaywardj · #3 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 04:26 AM

One of my favorite introduction lines has always been, "Hi! People call me Hayward. What may I call you besides desirable?" Spoken with a friendly smile and a hand extended forward.

misombra · #4 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 04:30 AM

you can call me misombra.

whaywardj · #5 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 04:32 AM

Flirt. (Don't stop.)

CircleC · #6 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 04:52 AM

"Hey I've seen you around and I'm curious what you're here for?"

Thats what I've said before to a girl I wanted to get to know when I was in college. It worked too. There are so many ways she can take that, but it doesn't matter. You'll spark her mind because she has to think about the answer.

She might think you mean why she is where she is at that precise moment. She may feel a bit offended that you are questioning her. Let her ponder it for a moment and reply how she will. Then, offer that you are curious why she is in college. This could become very deep if you're interested in her answer and she notices. Don't ask for her major. Cliche. Just be prepared to be interested in whatever she has to say and try to string along your own thoughts to keep it flowing nice and smooth.

"So, you are taking a calculus class?"
"Yes." -conversation over
You have to be a bit more mysterious and thoughtful. She's in college, so she must want to expand her mind. Show her that you are expandable too.

You can always comment that it "seems like some people here just wanted some college sweatshirts". show the funny.

misombra · #7 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whaywardj

Flirt. (Don't stop.)

never.

______

Taranee · #8 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 06:11 AM

Let me start by saying that I think it's awesome that you think before you act. In this case I think you should first explore the situation before making any move. I know that no person is the same. I always try to be very nice when a guy does approach me because I know what it's like to be rejected and being treated like sh*t. But I've known guys that tried to approach me and starting mindless conversations at a really bad time. And then, to be honest, it's really hard for me to remain "nice and polite". For instance:

When I have 10 minutes left to print out a school project, put it together and deliver it to a teacher I have neither the patience nor the time for a guy who starts talking about how much he likes that new song from Shaggy to "You should sit up straight in your chair it's better for your health..". I mean hello!! I mean is it THAT hard to see that someone is rushing?!?! In these cases I do respond. But in a "*&^ you can't you see I'm busy" way. As the guy catches his breath for his next subject I make my move to Speedy Gonzales-ing myself outta there!!

The best advice I can give you:

1. Be confident.
2. Explore the situation before going in and making a bad first impression.

Good luck and go for it!!

bball_1523 · #9 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taranee

Let me start by saying that I think it's awesome that you think before you act. In this case I think you should first explore the situation before making any move. I know that no person is the same. I always try to be very nice when a guy does approach me because I know what it's like to be rejected and being treated like sh*t. But I've known guys that tried to approach me and starting mindless conversations at a really bad time. And then, to be honest, it's really hard for me to remain "nice and polite". For instance:

When I have 10 minutes left to print out a school project, put it together and deliver it to a teacher I have neither the patience nor the time for a guy who starts talking about how much he likes that new song from Shaggy to "You should sit up straight in your chair it's better for your health..". I mean hello!! I mean is it THAT hard to see that someone is rushing?!?! In these cases I do respond. But in a "*&^ you can't you see I'm busy" way. As the guy catches his breath for his next subject I make my move to Speedy Gonzales-ing myself outta there!!

The best advice I can give you:

1. Be confident.
2. Explore the situation before going in and making a bad first impression.

Good luck and go for it!!

I completely see things the way you do. In my situation, I think I have the perfect opportunity to go up to her and strike up a conversation. I see her sitting on a bench by herself before one of my classes and I have at least 10 minutes to chat if want to. Sometimes I get the feeling that she's there because she wants to talk to me because sometimes I see her looking at me where I am sitting at, near my class, but then I don't really know what she is really looking at. (I can at least hope it's me, haha).

One of my problems that I've had over all my conversations from the past is that I can't continue a conversation and make it an interesting conversation, unless it's with my friends. I also feel sometimes that I'm bothering these women, but I don't want to think that way because it seems like I have a great opportunity to say something at the perfect time.

I have a big question too: What if I start talking to her and she becomes way too quiet? This happened to me once last year when I tried to introduce myself to a girl I had liked, and things didn't go too well. I had a hard time talking to her and I pushed it too far to find out why she wasn't talking to me. What would you guys do in that situation? I'd feel really bummed if she wouldn't say a word other than responded to my "hi."

CircleC · #10 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 10:10 AM

Thats why I thought you should ask her about herself. About what she wants to do while she is at school. At least it is something she knows something about so its not like you're asking her something foreign. And if she doesn't talk at all or feel like giving you any information, she's not interested.

whaywardj · #11 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

never.

______

Keep up these little asides, and I might start taking them personally.

bball_1523 · #12 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CircleC

Thats why I thought you should ask her about herself. About what she wants to do while she is at school. At least it is something she knows something about so its not like you're asking her something foreign. And if she doesn't talk at all or feel like giving you any information, she's not interested.

that's a good idea and I agree with you about if she's just not interested, but what do I do physically? Can I apologize to her about to bothering her and walk away in a gentlemanly manner? How would I go about situations where if things didn't work out the first time we talked, and I saw her quite often throughout the semester? I don't want her to think I'm trying to use her or anything. I want her to know that I'm a nice guy and that I am interested in talking to her.

What do you guys think about being direct and honest with her? Is that too early to do that? For example, is it too early to say something along lines of telling her why I came to talk to her? Like I'd tell her that I noticed her around school a lot and felt like wanting to talk to her and get a chance to get to know her? Or does that come later on?

Psycam · #13 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 10:25 AM

If she goes to where you work often, you could try just starting things simple and introduce yourself to her and have a chat about whatever (I think these guys have given good suggestions). Then when you see her again, you can try talking to her longer and see where that takes you.

CircleC · #14 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 10:30 AM

Well, first you need to relax about it and not try and anticipate everything that might happen. Trust me, I've led that kind of life and its no fun. If you completely analyze every possible outcome, you won't be able to enjoy what ACTUALLY happens.

I doubt she would be rude or cruel if she has no interest. So, you just kinda act casual, as if you had no investment in the situation anyhow. Which you shouldn't yet. And you'll just have to suck it up and go on. If you do keep seeing her, just act as if nothing has happened. Stay cool. Its hard, but its the way to show her you are a nice guy. It might even spark her interest a little bit. Knowing that you aren't phased by a little rejection, that is.

CircleC · #15 (**permalink**) 23-10-05, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bball_1523

What do you guys think about being direct and honest with her? Is that too early to do that? For example, is it too early to say something along lines of telling her why I came to talk to her? Like I'd tell her that I noticed her around school a lot and felt like wanting to talk to her and get a chance to get to know her? Or does that come later on?

I wouldn't let her know that you've been admiring her for any length of time. She may wonder why you took so long to come forward. She may not understand your shyness at first. She could think it's a little creepy. So don't get into all that. Act as though its the first time you've ever seen her. But don't say that. Let her bring up the fact that she has seen you before.