Ruining My Life Help Help Help - Love Forum

jodi-scouser · #1 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 09:57 AM

k [b]so i am 18 when i was 16 i lost my virginity to this guy who actually used me but in a way i didnt care as he is one of the most disgusting person i know but then i started getting a little out of control mostly being quite promiscuis with guys but then last year my whole world changed i met my boyfreind at a club we danced and talked and then swapped numbers i went on holiday for a week and when i came back my cell had like 15 text and voice messages from him so we met up we got serious right off and 3 weeks into it i started feeling love for him he said he felt the same he is 22 but it was really stressing me out because i didnt know if he loved me for me or the hot sex like a few guys before i think i have a complex in men because of experiences when i was younger but anyway thats not the issue the issue is my INSANE jealousy i have towards to other girls see ok i dont wanna seem like i'm into myself but i know i am attractive and men look at me but i still hate it when me and my boyfreind are out clubbing and girls are there wearing yep next to notthing all sorts go through my head eg. is my boyfreind imagining what its like to f**** them or why doesnt he look at me that way then everytime it turns into a fight usually with him saying i need help see i cant look at another women who is good looking without seeing her as a threat to me and my relationship its getting to the point were i make out imagine senarios in my head like what would he do if i wasnt there and a gorgoes girl offered on a plate would he think of me.
the thing is i love him so much but deep down i know i am pushing him further and further away my freinds arent like this in there relationships why am i like this does it sound like a i have like serious mental issues? please help

whaywardj · #2 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 10:00 AM

I'd begin with Valium.

shh! · #3 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 10:08 AM

I can't believe all that was said with only two puncuation marks clustered together at the end. I am dizzy!

CircleC · #4 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jodi-scouser

all sorts go through my head eg. is my boyfreind imagining what its like to f**** them or why doesnt he look at me that way?

I had to add the question mark, sue me.

To answer your question, he doesn't look at you that way because he looks at you like he really loves you. He doesn't really love them, so he looks at them different(or differnt). Looking at them is just part of his boyness. He loves you. So chill.

Mishanya · #5 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jodi-scouser

see i cant look at another women who is good looking without seeing her as a threat to me and my relationship its getting to the point were i make out imagine senarios in my head like what would he do if i wasnt there and a gorgoes girl offered on a plate would he think of me.
the thing is i love him so much but deep down i know i am pushing him further and further away my freinds arent like this in there relationships why am i like this does it sound like a i have like serious mental issues? please help

Hi Jodi

Let me put you at ease at first, no what you experience does not tantamount to a serious mental issue. Many teenagers or people in your age group feel this way. What is the main issue here? The main issue is trust. Do you trust your bf enough to know that if left to his own devices he will not cheat on you? If you do trust him enough then you should stop competing with imaginary opponents each time you are out in public with him. If you don't trust him, then there are really two options. Ask yourself, will you be happy trying to endlessly secure a relationship you may not be able to keep, based on the other answer either 1. Stay with him, but make no mention of this jealousy issue, just prepare yourself that this relationship may end at some point in time, so enjoy it as much as you can. 2. End the relationship and find someone you can trust...

P.S. If your answer is that you don't trust him, ask yourself also what makes you not trust him? Is it his attitude? Is he promiscious as well? Has he ever lied to you?

Hope above helps!

Debunkt · #6 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 10:50 AM

Get the god damn punctuation police in here, my head just exploded!

Junsui · #7 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 11:32 AM

You don't have serious mental issues. There are some of us out there that can get this way too. If you feel it interferes with your relationship too much and your everyday life, then I would suggest going to a therapist to work through your trust issues. There could be many reasons for feeling this way.

Only-virgins · #8 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 03:26 PM

---------->.<--------- see that? It is called a period. Use it please.Go easy on the Xtacy crap too...look what it has done to your brain already lol. Anyways does he know about your previous whore-ism?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CircleC

To answer your question, he doesn't look at you that way because he looks at you like he really loves you. He doesn't really love them, so he looks at them different(or differnt). Looking at them is just part of his boyness. He loves you. So chill.

That has to be the worst crap I have ever heard. ROFL.

CircleC · #9 (**permalink**) 27-10-05, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by only-virgins

That has to be the worst crap I have ever heard. ROFL.

As long as I'm getting superlatives, I'm happy.

But I did spend alot of time pondering the situation and thought I provided some marvelous insight.

#10 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jodi-scouser

k so i am 18 when i was 16 i lost my virginity to this guy who actually used me but in a way i didnt care as he is one of the most disgusting person i know but then i started getting a little out of control mostly being quite promiscuis with guys but then last year my whole world changed i met my boyfreind at a club we danced and talked and then swapped numbers i went on holiday for a week and when i came back my cell had like 15 text and voice messages from him so we met up we got serious right off and 3 weeks into it i started feeling love for him he said he felt the same he is 22 but it was really stressing me out because i didnt know if he loved me for me or the hot sex like a few guys.

The bold are all the warning signs you failed to miss, let this experience be one to learn from.

Junsui · #11 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 12:03 AM

lol true Tone, since she said like, I wasn't sure if she was exaggerating.

Debunkt · #12 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

The bold are all the warning signs you failed to miss, let this experience be one to learn from.

hahaha! Tone, you so funny!

NeoSeminole · #13 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 01:19 AM

I think your paranoia comes from viewing others the way you see yourself. You use to be promiscuous so you imagine all these girls are trying to sleep with your bf. This makes you uncomfortable. Of course, him being 22 yrs old doesn't help either. He is at the point in his life where he can date many girls from different ages. It's not the same as a guy who is 17 or 18 yrs old. What options does he have? Your bf can leave you anytime for a girl who is older and more mature.

#14 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 03:22 AM

Oooh good point, Neo.

Rosebud · #15 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 03:48 AM

[quote=NeoSeminole]I think your paranoia comes from viewing others the way you see yourself. You use to be promiscuous so you imagine all these girls are trying to sleep with your bf. This makes you uncomfortable. Of course, him being 22 yrs old doesn't help either. He is at the point in his life where he can date many girls from different ages. It's not the same as a guy who is 17 or 18 yrs old. QUOTE]

Yes well said Neo!!