Is there a chance?

[soul_on_fire]

I met this guy at work 7 months ago. We flirted alot and always had lunch, and good convo. There was definitely attraction there. Two months ago we hired a temp, who you could tell liked him too. Well, one night me and the guy were hanging out after work at this bar with some of our co-workers, we kissed. The next day he asked me out to dinner. All of the sudden, nothing happened. Then I find out the new girl made a move 3 days before we kissed, so he started dating her. He said he felt it was the right thing to do. Now they've stopped dating, she had ex issues. He and I still are friends. Now he's calling and wants to hang out with me again. What should I do? Pass him by, or try again?

Well depends... how do you like being "Plan B"?

[soul_on_fire]

Exactly, that's why I don't think he's worth it.

Tell him you're not up for it anymore, if he asks questions just lie and say you're seein someone so you don't have to listen to him make up excuse after excuse as to why he choose the other girl over you.

[Rosebud]

He felt like it was the right thing to do?? eeek yeah I would say pass on him, if stuff was going on with you guys before this other chickie came along and then he just pushed you to the side, I would push him to the curb.

[Junsui]

Yeah, what Tone said. I wouldn't try again with him.

[gHEXjt]

I think the way you go about this really depends on how you truly feel about him. My ex did something like this before, and I stood by broken-hearted for 3 months while she was with someone else. But I was willing to be with her after that even though she knew I wanted her in the first place, and we ended up really falling in love. Mind you she is my ex, but we were together for almost 4 years and had an unbelievable relationship for the first 3. So you never really know. But everyone else looks at this like you'd be wasting your time, and they may be right.

[soul_on_fire]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gHEXjt

I think the way you go about this really depends on how you truly feel about him. My ex did something like this before, and I stood by broken-hearted for 3 months while she was with someone else. But I was willing to be with her after that even though she knew I wanted her in the first place, and we ended up really falling in love. Mind you she is my ex, but we were together for almost 4 years and had an unbelievable relationship for the first 3. So you never really know. But everyone else looks at this like you'd be wasting your time, and they may be right.

That's the thing. The chemistry between us is great, and we have the foundation of the close friendship already. I feel like it could be ok, but I'm scared it will happen again.

[CircleC]

First of all, it is hard to find someone who has never dated anyone else or liked someone else. So forget about being his "second choice". Maybe you weren't. He wasn't ready for you. She wasn't his first choice. She was the easy choice. Don't hold that against him if you really like him. This kind of situation can work out wonderfully for you two.

My case: I had a girlfriend for a year and half who broke up with her boyfriend so that she could get to know me better. We were together for a year and a half. She is now engaged to that old boyfriend. They showing every sign of a happy ending story. He accepted not being "mr right now" and he ended up getting everything he wanted. you have to swallow some pride i guess, but there is alot to gain from that.

[soul_on_fire]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CircleC

you have to swallow some pride i guess, but there is alot to gain from that.

I agree, there is alot to gain. Working up the nerve is the hard part.

[CircleC]

nah, doesn't sound like you need the nerve. he's got plenty of that for the both of you. since he is asking you out after dating the temp. he knows you know he dated the temp. i think you should see him as the one going out on a limb. just think of it as you giving him a chance. don't get wrapped up thinking where it is going. enjoy where it is at every moment. and soon enough you won't even remember that temp's name. what temp? exactly.

[gHEXjt]

Quote:

Originally Posted by soul_on_fire

That's the thing. The chemistry between us is great, and we have the foundation of the close friendship already. I feel like it could be ok, but I'm scared it will happen again.

You'll never know if you don't try. This sounds exactly like what I experienced, and I wouldn't trade in those 4 years for the world. Mind you I'm still really young, but every single one of the best moments of my life came from that relationship, and I was the one waiting in the beginning, and I gave her a chance when everyone was telling me to stay away. Just go for it.

[Chlorine]

soul_on_fire----"He said he felt it was the right thing to do."

Don't like this comment. It was the right thing to do because she kissed him first?

He started dating her, because he prefered her over you. If she didn't have ex issues, they'de still be together.

Now that he doesn't have her, he goes back to you.

Think he's being careless with your feelings. Not a nice character.

[soul_on_fire]

Well she actually made a move on him 3 days before we kissed. She asked him out.

I don't think he was that interested in her...they only dated for like almost 4 weeks.

[Junsui]

Ok, well you have already made up your mind, so go date him and see where it goes.