how to not get attached? - Love Forum

stealthninjax · #1 (**permalink**) 12-10-03, 03:01 PM

i kno there are a lot of girls out there... but its really hard for me to let go of one. I tend to get attached easily and end up hurting myself. what should i do to not get attached to anyone girl too easily?

#2 (**permalink**) 12-10-03, 04:51 PM

Don't get to know them too well... avoid them? And not to sound rude, but don't be so weak.

LINEBACKER 2

seven770 · #3 (**permalink**) 12-10-03, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by stealthninjax
i kno there are a lot of girls out there... but its really hard for me to let go of one. I tend to get attached easily and end up hurting myself. what should i do to not get attached to anyone girl too easily?

I actually know how you feel at the moment, i've fallen for a friend, and im madly in love with her. I've told her but she does'nt feel the same way and it causes friction between us. I dont think he's being weak, imo, he has to experince getting hurt, to learn from it, I know now that next time I fall in love with a friend, it DOES'NT mean they feel the same way.

Zekk_T_Strife · #4 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 04:03 AM

I agree, I don't think he's being weak. I know how it feels to become attached to the unattainable. It sucks and it isn't easy to get over.

jane · #5 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 06:41 AM

I think you are misunderstanding what LINEBACKER_2 means by weak. I think he is saying, and correct me if i am wrong, but not to keep yourself from getting attached to someone just becuase you are afraid to get hurt. It's ok to be cautious, just don't cut yourself off from the world.

DuckyWucky · #6 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 08:16 AM

Don't open up to each and every girl you meet. If it's someone you wouldn't mind dating, try to hurry up and see if that's something you two could do. Many times other fellas get hurt is because they like someone but they let it drag on and on and on before they take any action. In the meantime your desire to be with them increases the more you talk or hang out.

By taking action early on, it makes it easier to let them go if things don't work out, because you haven't done so many things with that person to make you want to be with them even more. Make sense?

Maybe I should take my own advice and let this damn girl I know I like her.

jane · #7 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DuckyWucky

Maybe I should take my own advice and let this damn girl I know I like her.

It's amazing what you learn about youself here, huh!

#8 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 09:52 AM

What I mean by being weak is don't get attached to everything that's female. That's just retarded. You can expect to get hurt everynow and then, but that doesn't mean you can't take a chance.

Why don't you just tell her how you feel?

LINEBACKER 2

stealthninjax · #9 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 10:24 AM

when i say attaching i mean becoming like obsessed with the girl. I need somethign to disctract me so that i can focus and concentrate on other stuff like school, etc.. i can't concentrate if i think about her all the time. I deffinitely don't want my life to revolve aroudn her, but everyttime when im alone or bore i keep thinking about her and it gets very frustrated. I kno that she does have feeling for me but not as much as i do for her. I don't wanna talk to her about it cuz it'll seem like im rushign things and pressuring her which is a big turn off. This is the first girl i've ever been with so i don't realy know what to do.

#10 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 10:28 AM

Hey that happens to the best of us. I think about someone all the time these days. It's hard to shake.

You can't get frustrated though, just think happy thoughts about her.

That's what I do.

LINEBACKER 2

DuckyWucky · #11 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 02:11 PM

Quote:

This is the first girl i've ever been with so i don't realy know what to do.

So this is a girl you're already dating? Are you two official?

stealthninjax · #12 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 02:50 PM

yah, we've been dating. Before she just saw us as "make out buddies" , that'd be awesome if i don't have feeling for her but then i really did like her. Lately, she's been showing sign of excepting me as more than friend but the feeling is still unreciprocal... tat y its a bit frustrating at times cuz i usually care more than she does. Like yesterday we were chattin online... one of her friend goes online n she totally ignored me. Maybe i worry too much, we'll see wat happen when i see her in skoo tomorrow.

Illusional · #13 (**permalink**) 13-10-03, 06:01 PM

i think the best thing to do not to get attrached to a girl is keep your mind off of her. if you just started to get to know her, talk to her and talk to your friends about her, but do other things. don't get obsessed over a girl because they will think that you fall too fast and you're not really wanting a relationship..either that or they'll use you for whatever they please. overall, it's a lot easier to not get attached after you've been burned a few times. raverboy

Argile · #14 (**permalink**) 14-10-03, 02:30 AM

Here's another idea!
Use this message board as a catharcis so you don't have to tell her how things make you feel!

Honestly, that came out really rude, I'm sorry.

Really, what you should do is this.. sit down with her -IN PERSON- and tell her exactly how you feel. It's a risk, but often worth it. Preface everything you say with "I feel like..." or "I feel that" so that she doesn't feel like you're trying to control her, but just trying to communicate your own state of mind..

Good luck!

sonal_is · #15 (**permalink**) 18-10-03, 02:17 AM

I think that a guy should make his move in the beginning, with this you are at risk of getting attached without knowing the person too well, however if you get rejected then in the beginning it wont matter so much because ur feelings wont be that strong- if you let them linger then it will be harder to take. Having said this if you get to know someone better then when you go out with them you will be able to take the risk of 'putting your heart in their hands' that bit sooner, either way things such as trust and love involve time, I dont think that either should be done with blindness.