Do opposites attract? - Love Forum

Airborne · #1 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 10:48 AM

Just wondering do people who are like completely different when it comes to their personality's attract to eachother? Or do you folks find that it takes similarities between the two people for the connection to be established?

Just interested in hearing people's opinions on this once as I seem to think that it is a mix of both. The similarities need to be there for both people to enjoy themselves, but the differences need to be there so eachperson is interested in the other.

Junsui · #2 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 10:57 AM

I agree with you that there should be both. If you are too different, it can lead to fights. It's great to be introduced to some new things, but for the most part I think you have to have similar interests. As far as personality, I would think your personalities would have to be similar. People with personality disorders are usually attracted to someone opposite of them.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/mar04/mixing.html

Mishanya · #3 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 11:00 AM

Do the Opposites attract?

They do, but they don't stick to each other very well!

Commendable · #4 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 11:39 AM

I use to think it was true, till my ex used 'we don't have anything in common' as an excuse to break up with me.

You'll make things in common with each other the more your together anyway. that's why above excuse was pointless and sisn't do anything to make be feel better about the break up.

shh! · #5 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 11:41 AM

I think there needs to similarities in the big things such as values, ideas about money and moral viewpoints. As for personal hobbies and personality types, eh - who cares?

CircleC · #6 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 11:46 AM

I agree with shh! The different hobbies and personalities will be what keeps it fun. As long as the core ideas(about modern living) are similar.

Debunkt · #7 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 11:54 AM

The last two posts.

jaye · #8 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Airborne

Just wondering do people who are like completely different when it comes to their personality's attract to eachother? Or do you folks find that it takes similarities between the two people for the connection to be established?

true

Quote:

Just interested in hearing people's opinions on this once as I seem to think that it is a mix of both. The similarities need to be there for both people to enjoy themselves, but the differences need to be there so eachperson is interested in the other.

false

gHEXjt · #9 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commendable

I use to think it was true, till my ex used 'we don't have anything in common' as an excuse to break up with me.

Same here. When we my ex broke up with me she said, "We're growing apart." Basically, when we got together we had some common interests, but were nothing alike. But we used to do things with each other all the time that one of the two of us liked. We were both into different things and it was fun being a part of the things she was interested in. But apparently after 3 1/2 years, she didn't feel the same way anymore. She simply wouldn't do anything I wanted to do anymore, and then said we were growing apart. But I do think that overall, morals and issues such as money truly are key. And then it completely depends on how willing the two people in the relationship are to do things that will enable them to spend time with the other person.

Junsui · #10 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 12:11 PM

I agree that values, money, morals, etc need to be similar. I still think that if your personalities are too different, it won't work or at least make the relationship really difficult.

shh! · #11 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 12:15 PM

I forgot to include intelligence as something that should be similar...

Airborne · #12 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commendable

You'll make things in common with each other the more your together anyway. that's why above excuse was pointless and sisn't do anything to make be feel better about the break up.

In my opinion you cannot make things in common with each other, it implies that the relationship is being forced, and eventually one of you is going to get annoyed by changing to make the common ground. The common ground will either be there or it won't, if you find yourself making a common interest then one of you is probably changing themselves to suit the other and ultimately it will not last. In true love the common ground will not be forced it will just be there.

Only-virgins · #13 (**permalink**) 28-10-05, 05:07 PM

Opposite in what? to vague. If you like opposite types of food and movies...yes...if your standards are opposite..no.

Lloyd95 · #14 (**permalink**) 29-10-05, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

I forgot to include intelligence as something that should be similar...

No. Since men are inherently smarter, then men and women would never get together.

gHEXjt · #15 (**permalink**) 29-10-05, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

I forgot to include intelligence as something that should be similar...

This is definitely something I forgot to post about that I couldn't agree more with. It's a huge turn-off when you can't even have an intelligent conversation with someone.