Tricking her into liking me, but backwards

[clynn]

Maybe:

1. Drug use makes you feel "detached" and so you're less likely to feel emotionally connected to her (or anyone).

2. You have something akin to narcissistic personality disorder which means that your ability to love anyone at all is severely limited.

[whaywardj]

God, I hate it when people agree with me. Makes me feel so...common.

[Rosebud]

well come on Hayward you make good points, and if we can't think of anything else good to say, we just agree with you!! LOL

[Asip4u]

We can't help it Hayward...Blame yourself for being so good!

[crazyjoe]

Once again, I am being told I have personality disorders. I get told this alot.

I would have to think that the opinions presented by you guys would likely be correct, and mine would likely be abnormal.

The thing is, there are times when I am with this girl where I actually do love her. I know she is an amazing person, and I know a person like me would be lucky to have a person like her.

How can I fix these problems? I want to try and improve myself, but I don't want to be far from her. She knows I'm abnormal, and I would feel comfortable discussing pretty much anything with her. What should I say to her?

I'm gonna start rambling my feelings now...
"I'm sure you've noticed that I have some problems with myself - I mean, I'm amazed that you can even tolerate me. There are alot of things I need to work on - I do things that most girls would leave me in a second over. We've known each other for a month - and people generally start to get sick of me by about this time. A person like me is pretty much a waste of time - so if you don't want to be with me anymore I suppose that would be the normal thing. But I know you are an amazing person, and I want to be with you. It's ok for you to point out things about me you don't like - I find it impossible to think that you wouldn't want me to change. I want to change too, I think for once I want what a normal person would want - I want to be with you and I don't want any wierdness unless it's postive, fun wierdness."

Thats how it always sound when I ramble...


The thing is I do want to change, I just can't. And I don't think it makes it ok to use drugs because I am smart. Oh, and I agree, my IQ does mean nothing. I don't to that good in college. My relationships are obviusly all screwed up. Other people think that makes it ok, sometimes. I suppose I am lucky to have so many friends that put up with me...

When I am on drugs and people around me are on the same drugs, It's the only time I ever feel that another person is feeling what I am feeling. Also salvia is nice, because it gives me a very outside perspective on myself. Most of the conscious improvements I've made on myself were because of a negative I noticed while on salvia. Actually, I figured out the stuff in this paragraph while I was on salvia. Oh, and I also got sweaty and thought I was trapped in a different, identical, universe(I know of no other way to describe the very powerful sense of being 'lost' even when the images around you are so familiar) - so it's probly not the best method of self-discovery. So I'm not reccomeding it to anyone else...


What can I say to her? Is is more wrong to ask her to be with me through this change, or is it more wrong to push her away so I can focus on certain problems? What would you do, and does anyone know how I can help myself?

[Mike]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junsui

Usually people with high IQs are messed up anyways, so I could see them using drugs.

You mean people who believe IQ is important enough to justify letting people know without prompt?

[clynn]

You haven't said what kind or problems you have....
...what about you makes people not want to tolerate you?

[crazyjoe]

People usually do tolerate me.

Actually, most people seem to like me... although I don't tell most people details like I tell you people, so don't point that out.

Whenever I really get to know someone (like my closest friends) they can't seem to resist taking every opportunity to point out how bizarre I apparently am. It doesn't seem to bother my friends (hence friends) but alot of time I'll meet somebody, and once I become comfortable talking to them, they tell me I am strange and they liked me better before I talked.

Anyone who I spill my guts to ends up with an impression similar to those you people are getting. Thats where I get people telling me I have disorders. I don't know what you guys think, but I bet your reaction to what I'm saying is similar to what people from reality feel when I say the same thing. I haven't seen any professionals, though, and would like to avoid that if possible.


I know alot of my traits come off as negative, and I want to fix those. Right now, though, I am mostly worried about things between me and my g/f.
I did, infact, start this thread because I don't care about her as much as I think I should, but I still care about her more than I care about anyone else, including myself (I kinda hate myself. I'm not suicidal or anything, though.)
I don't want to lose her, but what I want even less is to make her life worse than it already is...

[CircleC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyjoe

Anyone who I spill my guts to ends up with an impression similar to those you people are getting. Thats where I get people telling me I have disorders. I don't know what you guys think, but I bet your reaction to what I'm saying is similar to what people from reality feel when I say the same thing. I haven't seen any professionals, though, and would like to avoid that if possible.

Hey man, don't spill your guts if they are so messy. You have to make your "guts" easier for people to handle. You need to deal with your problems. Rambling them off to potential friends/lovers won't fix them.
And, it is possible to avoid seeing professionals. How is that working for you?

[Debunkt]

You can change a lot of things about yourself. How you act, talk, what you do, where you are, etc. Unfortunately, one thing you can almost never change is how you feel. Feelings are your most basic attribute. Everything about you is based on your feelings. You only have so much control when it comes to how much you like someone. BUT, you have come to the realization about how good she is for you, and in that, you are at somewhat of a point where you appreciate her, and as you've said, there are instances when you love her. Honestly, I think that is what you are looking for. As long as you make a conscious effort to know exactly what she does for you, what she means to you, and how much she wants to be with YOU, you're bound to find the emotions you're missing. If you can't, they're just not there, and therefore I'd have to say that something is likely missing from the relationship that is just not in plain site.

[Mishanya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyjoe

Once again, I am being told I have personality disorders. I get told this alot.

What kind of personality disorders? *Pets his thick psychology book*

You strike me as someone who suffers from a "Woody Allen complex", if diagnosis are positive, I'm afraid that's not curable!

In regards of what the missing items in your relationship with your gf are:

* Stunning/hot/incredibly good looks - Checked
* How she acts Loveabillity - Checked
* Personallity likeabillity - Checked
* Lack of religious beliefs requirement - Checked
* Putting-upabillity with someone who thinks he is not normal - Checked
* Love and other sensual, intimate feelings - Red Alert!!! Red Alert!!!

P.S. I really like your Tony Soprano approach "There's something wrong with me, how do I get rid of that?"

[crazyjoe]

So everyone seems to agree I have some problem...
how do I fix it?

[whaywardj]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

...P.S. I really like your Tony Soprano approach "There's something wrong with me, how do I get rid of that?"...

That is sooo funny!

[whaywardj]

Crazyjoe, I haven't taken time to go back to re-read this thread but, based on impressions I recall from my first read, I'd think you're a little paranoid. Seem to be always on guard against someone taking something away from you. Relax. Generally, nobody's all that interested in anyone else.

Drugs, btw, are notorius for creating that effect. First and above all, I'd get all that out of my system and keep it out entirely (including alcohol, which is also a drug) before I started trying to make any sense of myself. Trust me. I know. I've done it all, more than a few times, including needles, settling on becoming a crack-head for time before I, finally, wised up.

I'd also stop using being certifiable as an excuse for stupid and irresponsible behavior. You're only as crazy as you want to be. Man up, muthuf/cker.

[Mishanya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyjoe

So everyone seems to agree I have some problem...
how do I fix it?

First step to solving a problem is to recognize that you have a problem. So as a prelimianry step to fixing your issues you must:

1. Recognize that my post identified your problem correctly is deserving of much praise and is full of wisdom and such
2. You will then list all the personality disorders that you think you have and list what you think your problems are (You will do this with no mention of what you think others think of you)
3. You will then list the situations when you use drugs
4. You will then explain why you talk like Woody Allen
5. You will then explain why you think you can trick yourself into loving somebody and why tricking yourself into loving somebody must involve the person who you think likes you into liking you as well.
6. We will go from there (But i'm sure i will think of something else to add)