Is he still interested? Shall I initiate contact ?
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Thread: Is he still interested? Shall I initiate contact ?

  1. #1
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    Is he still interested? Shall I initiate contact ?

    I (38) met a guy (45) via an online dating app and we had some very good conversations before he asked me out for our first date about a month ago on a Friday night. It went really well and he initiated the 2nd date the day after, and we met up again the Friday after ( was supposed to be sooner but somethings came up). The 2nd date went even better, and he stayed over at mine but we did not have sex as I told him I wanted to wait for abit and he respected that.

    Since then we have been texting consistently pretty much on an almost daily basis with him initiating ( except for the first 3 days after the 2nd date and I went into panic mode and decided to text him first), with very long entertaining messages.

    The physical attraction is definitely there, not to brag but we are both considered generally attractive/ above average lookswise. He has consistently complimented me throughout our dates and after on how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am etc. We are also both single parents with busy lives, he has 2 kids who live half of the week with him, and I have 1 child whoís full time with me. We also could talk and laugh easily about basically anything like our pasts and have lots of in jokes so the mental/ emotional connection appears to be there.

    We didnít have a subsequent 3rd date prior to me going on holidays as things came up like kids/ illness but he did keep on saying how much he loved my company and wanted to see me again.

    About 2 weeks ago I went for a short 6 day trip to Europe for a wedding. The texting and communication was really good prior to my trip and he kept on talking about the next few months and how he canít wait to do this and that with me.
    He also told me to send photos on my holidays.
    Our last texts were over a week ago, I received his last text just as I arrived in Europe and gave it 1.5 days to reply. Then towards the end of my trip a week ago,I sent him pics of my holiday/myself. Since then total radio silence from him. Not even a comment on my pics

    I have no idea whatís going on and stressing out majorly!

    I am one of those girls who prefers a guy to initiate contact/dates and take the lead although on rare occasions I do initiate contact but never dates. Iím not sure if heís the kind who likes girl to initiate as he said on our first date why didnít I mention wanting to meet up.

    1) Do you think I should text him to let him know Iím back? He knows Iím only away for a week so he knows well that I should be back by now . Like I think that if he was truly interested he would have replied my texts and also texted me to ask howís my trip.

    2) Is he still interested or trying to ghost me/ found someone else?.....I have checked the dating app where we met and he hasnít gone online at all the last few days. We usually chat through iMessage and from looking at his WhatsApp he normally only goes online once a day.

    I know that if a guy is truly interested he will reach out but now Iím thinking heís suddenly lost interest while i was away. I really do like this guy a lot as heís the best guy Iíve met in a long time and would like to make things work

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    So just because you are afraid of asking him you create this user to ask the internet if the guy was still interested?

    For all we know he lost his phone. Or whatever

    The real question is: what do you want?

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    Thanks for your reply. Yes Iím scared of initiating and getting hurt hence had to do all this!! Blardy conflicting advice all over the internet & general common sense, ie wait for a guy to make a move vs just do it.

    What I want: I want him bad, I really do like him as he makes me laugh and is great to chat to, and of course heís hot AF

    I seriously doubt hes lost his phone as he does go online on WhatsApp ( stalker I know!)
    Last edited by Lulubella; 08-08-18 at 07:17 AM.

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    Probably busy online hitting on women way younger than him.

    You haven't done anything to piss him off so the other reason must be lost of interest.

    I wouldn't do any more initiating if he had been unresponsive to your photos. Even if he continues the conversation, he would most likely going to go radio silent again. Why would you want a guy like that? You have to push him to make him do anything. Uninspired, lazy, and unmotivated.
    Last edited by fearoflove; 08-08-18 at 10:53 AM.
    A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything

    She uses logic and manages her emotions

    She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them

    She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions

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    If you know what you want, what exactly are you already doing to make that become true?

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    Update: I did text him that afternoon a casual ď hi Iím back etcĒ text. So he responded and apologised for not getting back to me, and told me that one night he was drunk and hooked up with his female housemate ( who heís lived with since last year, he said that nothing happened with her during the time he dated me). Anyway heís been seeing her and doesnít want to be the kind who sees more than one girl at once, but he did really like me and thinks of me lots . But heís just confused and seeing how things go with his housemate but also unsure how he feels.
    We agreed to be be friends & met up yesterday , and all this closure and answers made me feel better, upsetting as it was at the time
    Last edited by Lulubella; 10-08-18 at 07:36 PM.

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    So he did what busy man do - takes girl who lives closest. Less problems with housemate since shes probably already used to the sound of his farts. Also now he dont have to go tru romatic stage with you with flowers, poems and so since instead he can just fart in musical way to impress his housemate and blow her away literaly.

    Last edited by pcmaster; 11-08-18 at 12:13 AM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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