never heard this before

[Velcrez]

You guys probably never heard anything like this before, and no it is not a lie...
Here is my story...
I am a 24 year old male virgin(not by choice), who has had extremely bad luck with girls. I met my last girl friend in the hospital, mental ward actually (getting good yet?). I was very depressed,and not coping with life all that well. So, since my life was already in ruins I figure things can’t possibly get any worse, I decide to tell this girl how I think she is pretty. Normally, I would never do such a thing, because I am way too shy. This time it worked out rather well, and once we got out of the hospital we started dating. Things went slowly at first, which was fine by me. After a few months, we learned to trust each other a bit. One day she was in my basement and we started making out, things got hot, lots of touching ect... Then she stopped, which was fine. For the next week she didn’t call me or wouldn’t return my phone calls. I kinda thought something might be up. Turns out, me touching her had caused her to have horrible flashbacks of her childhood. Very bad things were done too her, you might be able to guess... She had been suffering the whole week, freaking out real bad. Then she finely called me over and told me that we had to break up, because she couldn’t take the flashbacks. I felt terrible, but , could understand how
things had to be. So, we split. Ok here is where things get weird. A few months later I find out that she was back in the hospital with bad flashbacks, and they had been giving her electro shock
therapy to try and help her (yes they DO still do that in extreme cases). But, it turns out the shock therapy, was really playing tricks on her memory(although it’s not suppose to do that). She forgot everything that happened 4-5 months before she went into the hospital, which included going out with me. After she gets out I was reintroduced to her, but no one told me how bad her memory had been affected. She remembers that she knew me, but she can’t remember where she knew me from. Me being oblivious to that fact, treated her the way I always had, which made a good first impression on her, for the second time. The night I found out what had really happened to her she was drunk, and ended up kissing me again for the first time. The whole thing really makes my head spin. I feel like I just unburdened my soul. Please I am looking for any comments or suggestions.

[DuckyWucky]

So you're saying you met this girl, dated her for a bit, now you met her again? That's kind of a weird situation, and I'm sure almost no one here's been in that sort of predicament as you.

Well, what are you trying to accomplish here? I'm guessing you're just shocked because you kissed her etc. again, and had no idea that it was a "first" time for her with you again. Basically, you were in the hospital for your reasons, she was in for hers, then you guys met? Not to sound mean, but picking up girls from a mental institution doesn't sound like the best idea.

[Velcrez]

I know the whole thing sounds like I'm nuts right? Well I'm not. I was in the hospital for depression, my life wasn't so good, and I was very lonely. At the time I met her I hadn't even talked to a girl for months. I know a hospital is generaly not the best place to meet girls, but, she just seemed so easy to talk to. Normaly I am way too shy around girls, but, it was easy to ask her out. I couldn't belive how easy it was

[jane]

Your right, I have never heard this before. I am sympathetic to how you feel about her and I am sure she is gald hat she has met you, again. The only thing I want to ask is are you afraid of what might happen? How is she? Does she seem like she can handel a relationship with you? The thing is that she sounds like she isn't very stable right now. She may not have a memory of what has happened in the past but I would venture to bet that might come back in time. Especially if she was sexually abused. which is what I think you are getting at. Sexual abuse can be very deep rooted depending on the nature of the abuse and when it actually occured. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. Tramatic events like this stay with a person forever. Each person is different. Some women go on to lead a healthy sex life others it can rally freeze them emotionally.
In my honest opinion, I would really not go there with this girl. SHe really needs the time to heal. If the abuse was bad enough to put her in a mental hosiptal, however acute, she needs the time to reall work through her feelings and try and piece back what she lost.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but, you might be confussing her with feelings that are hard for her to understand and deal with. Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you two. Time doesn't heal all wounds but it helps.

[Velcrez]

Thanks for your comments. After she kissed me, the next day I talked to her. I said that it probably woulden't be a good idea to get back together, because the same thing might happen again. I would hate to have her go through that again. She agreed. Since then we have been friends and we still see each other from time to time. We have turnd into good friends Aalthough, she had problems before, she is stable now and is doing fine.

[jane]

I thinks that great. I really do think that the two of you could be of great use to each other more as friends. It will allow you to stay close to her and give her, her freedom to work through some things. Good for you guys. i wish lot of luck to you both.