BF checks out other women..constantly. - Love Forum

Karson05 · #1 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:19 AM

My boyfirend seems to like checking out other women whenever we go somewhere. It is getting to be bothersome because lately, he has not even tried to conceal it.

For example, we were out shopping one day and were in an aisle, he was telling me something and a pretty blonde woman walked by. He just stopped within midsentence and looked her up and down. Then when she walked away he finished what he was saying. I was sort of offended by this because he just seemed to forget about everything else. Later I said that it bothered me somewhat, about him looking at her like that. And his reply was, "Oh you mean that women that looked like Britney Spears?"

We also went Christmas shopping with my grandma. I was in another store and they were in an open area waiting. My grandma said that she thought it to be strange that he was looking at women's asses as they walked by. I was embarrassed by this, because my grandma would not normally notice something like that.

We went out to a popular bar in the city, which was in the area he grew up in. For the first 45 minutes, he did not even come to sit with me. He did not even walk in with me. I sat with two of my cousins and he preferred to stand along the back wall where there were a number of sinlge men standing. Finally, I asked him to come and sit with me, seeing as we were supposed to spend our night out together. He sat beside me, but found petty things to get upset with me about.

Throughout the whole night, he was fixated on women walking by and women dancing. He was not just looking at their pretty faces either. I saw him looking at their breasts when they would walk near, and then their butts when they walked away. I was getting upset over that.

There was a particular group of girls dancing and he was watching them. Even when I was up dancing, I saw him watching the other girls. What makes him look at other women this way? Do you think maybe he yearns for someone else? It makes me feel so unnattractive.

When we talked about it he said, "The reason I have been checking out other women over the last few weeks is because you are pushing me away."

So, it is my fault? I don't understand that. I think he is just looking for any excuse to look at women, which I wouldn't really mind if it were just a few, but I think it is going overboard when it is EVERY woman that walks by. Is he a pervert? Or does he want what I don't have?

TAVS · #2 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:23 AM

Seems like he's too afraid to break up with you so he's trying to get you you to dump him instead. Either way, forget him and move on.

Karson05 · #3 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAVS

Seems like he's too afraid to break up with you so he's trying to get you you to dump him instead. Either way, forget him and move on.

Do you think he is being disrespectful? He says that it is not like he is doing anything. He says that he loves only me and wants to be with only me. It frustrates me that he has to do this. Why when I am right there? He also said the he is embarrassed by it. I think he is only embarrassed because I saw it.

Junsui · #4 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:33 AM

I think he's being disrespectful.

funsounds · #5 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karson05

When we talked about it he said, "The reason I have been checking out other women over the last few weeks is because you are pushing me away."

someones created the distance...either you or him...you guys have to figure it out. either way though...it's rude.

Karson05 · #6 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:35 AM

I feel somewhat humiliated by it. I don't want to talk to friends about it either because then maybe they would think that he is just with me because he can't have someone else. I would never do that..check out men in that way because I have someone already, know what I mean?

Karson05 · #7 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funsounds

someones created the distance...either you or him...you guys have to figure it out. either way though...it's rude.

But the thing is, though we have had some disagreements, it should not be a green light for him to ogle other women. That is just a poor excuse.

#8 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:37 AM

Yes, it is VERY rude and disrespectful.

I mean - we are guys, afterall. So we will look from time to time. But the way you describe his actions is just unacceptable. He's going way beyond "from time to time" and it's creating a lot of problems for you guys. If he loved you so much - why can't he do somethin so simple as to not GAWKE at the girls walking by.. it's not THAT hard to do, honestly.

Junsui · #9 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:37 AM

I agree, it is a poor excuse. I wouldn't put up with it.

Rosebud · #10 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:38 AM

You said that he mentioned your pushing him away. Did you ask how? or why he feels that way?

Karson05 · #11 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

You said that he mentioned your pushing him away. Did you ask how? or why he feels that way?

By us having our minor fights. That is the only thing I can think of. We have never had any serious fights or anything.

He said he might have just been checking to see what they were wearing or liked wha they were wearing.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he was also staring at an older woman. He knew where she was at all times even asking me, "Do you think that is her daughter with her?" I think that he must want to be with these other women, perhaps older. I found a lot of websites on my computer..porn sites that showed nothing but naked teens and older "milfs". Is it possible that he wants something more? I am 29 and feel soo old when he ogles young women and too young when he ogles the elderly women.

Junsui · #12 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:44 AM

Ewww gross.

#13 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:50 AM

You're not the problem.

He is.

That's just so rude. You don't act like that around your girlfriend... geez I even try not to over-do it around my female FRIENDS, let alone girlfriend, just because I think it's rude.

Karson05 · #14 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:52 AM

While we were out at that club on Saturday,(the same night of his constant checking ot of women) my cousin's younger sister was there, who is 18 and very pretty. She sat with us and he kept looking at her too. He watched her while we were dancing, claiming it was me he watched. (which wasn't..because he added later "I didn't even know you were dancing!")
When I asked him about it he said that he was just trying to remember if he saw her somewhere before, because he was sure that he ran into her somewhere before that night. I guess it was hard for him not to considering what she wore. She did look great, but I did too. I don't understand why he can't "check me out" in that way.
I am also attractive but I feel the exact opposite when this happens.

Junsui · #15 (**permalink**) 08-12-05, 04:52 AM

Tone, I like you.