Where when and how

[Mystikal]

Okay I am completly new to the dating scene. I am 18 years old and have never had a girlfriend in my life, not even one of those just testing the waters and see what its like to date high school thingys. I have been rejected 3 or 4 times while in high school so rejection to me...heh its no big thing, and I can honestly say that have been through 3 or 4 of them consecutively with no good outcomes from any of them.

Okay so jump a few months from high school graduation. I start hanging out with a girl that I was interested in but didnt really know enough about in high school to warrent me asking her out. So we just started haging out about 4 months ago, I did the dumbesrt thing I could have done and asked her out over the internet, at the beggining of us starting to get to know each other *bangs head on desk* So out of that I find out that well she "wasent ready for a relationship" at the moment but she thought that I was a decent and down to earth guy which she did like and thought of as a plus. However, she seemed really concerned about her "rejecting" me in essence not runing our friendship and I reasured her that it wouldnt.

Okay so 4 months later I hold true to my word and her rejection of me didnt ruin our friendship it just made it grow. We now go out together at least 3 times a week, and when we get together we are together the entire day or until one of us has to go to work (since we both work retail and both only ever work the closing shift) Her family also really likes me and I get along really well with them, so well its to the point where I am invited to family events, if I get thirsty at her house I am told that "I know where everything is" and her little brother now thinks that I am his "big brother". However, I have lightly hinted in conversations about possibly dating or at least tried to get the conversation to lead into that direction. In fact when I brought up the point that all of our friends seem to think that we are going out she replied in saying "well I would hope, I mean most of our friends think it impposible and weird for friends to hang out this much, but believe it or not....they do" So as you could imagine that just killed the rest of that conversation, or at least killed it in the sense of where I wanted it to lead to.

Anyways, she is the type that once she makes friends she does all in her power to make sure all is swell and going well and if she can help out in any way, she will and well she just treasures friends alot so there is the possibility that she just sees us as friends....nothing more. So my question here is where, when, and how should I bring up the subject of dating and possibly a more intiment future? Again this is all brand new to me, she is the first girl that I have gotten this far with and I just dont want to screw it up because as each day passes I am loving her more and more....its just everything about her I love, her personality, her views on the world, her views on raising a family, everything and everytime that I tell myself "okay today I am going to go to her house and I am going to bring up the subject of our future and if there is one that could possibly exist on a deeper level then just friends, but everytime that I get there and I tell myself okay I am going to do it now....I get this really horrible feeling in my stomach and its the most nervouse I have felt in my life......I mean I have never felt this many butterflies in my stomach before and I just cant find the courage to ask her. I have with 4 others I just cant do it with her...so again my question is how, when and where do I ask her and is their any tips you guys recommend on getting over the nervousness.

P.S. sorry about the length I just wanted to make sure that I got the whole story in there and as many feelings and events that I could think of so that I could get more accurate feedback.

Thanks guys

[RSK]

Let me introduce myeslf. I'm 22. A virgin. And never been kissed. It's obvious, that I'm the last guy you want advice from. But I'm going to give it anyway...

I think most people here would tell you to hide your feelings for now, and see how things unfold in the future.

I'm not one of those people. Well - Kind of.

If you 'push' her, she will probably feel threatend. Friends ALWAYS have a certain level of trust. And if you hide feelings for a long time, only to reveal them 'all at once', then this 'trust' level has been broken. Don't hide feelings. You only hurt YOURSELF, and potentially HER when those feelings are released.

If I were you. I'd do this,

Go up to her. And tell her you have something to say. BE 100% HONEST. Tell her how much you mean to her. Tell her you want to take it to the next level. Tell her...(well, you should now this by now).

BUT HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART:

After you do this, tell her WHY you are saying this. It's because it is your true feelings, and it hurts to keep them inside. It's because you don't want to hurt HER, by keeping these feelings. It's because...you get the idea

THEN:

Before she speaks, you must tell her,

From this point on, NO MATTER what happens, I will always be a friend for you. And, I will ALWAYS care for you. I'm just asking you to take a chane with me.

THEN, wait for a response, (you seem like a smart enough guy to know if things seem positve or negative)

If things are POSITIVE - GREAT!

If things go NEGATIVE,

THEN, quickly take control of the conversaton, and say,

"I want you to know, I'll always be your friend". Let her know, that you'd regret the day meeting someone else, and therefore, eliminating the chance to be with her.

The most important thing, is that if you DO get rejected, to stay friends with HER. I think friends can lead to love, especially when it's unconditional.

The bottom line - YOU CAN'T MAKE ANYBODY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

All you can do, is be yourself, and hope somebody likes you for YOU. And at the same time, you like HER. That's what makes finding LOVE so hard, I guess.