Why does this always happen to me - Love Forum

MastaPDiddy · #1 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 02:42 AM

So my girlfriend of 3 months hasn't called me in 3 days. Which is very unlike her. As mentuoned in another thread..there is talk of marriage...engagement intense I love yous so on and so forth, and so i waited it out.

Well,
She just called.

I at first pretended like I wasn't too phased by the fact that she hasn't called me in forever. But then I kind of nervously mentioned it and she said she was busy with work.
And then there was silence.

And then she said her Ex-boyfriend and her have recently been talking about "stuff".

And then more silence.

And then she said she is really confused right now and doesn't know what to do. I tried to be as supportive as I can and I told her that if she needed to talk about anything, I would gladly listen. Then she said she doesn't want to lose me, but she needs some time.

I told her okay, and said I needed to go. Bye-Bye. No I love yous in this convo.

I hung up and threw the phone as hard as I can.

****, why does this **** always happen to me.

now what?

Junsui · #2 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 02:50 AM

Hmmm...I'm sorry you're having to go through this, but the only thing you really can do is give her time like she asked for. I would advise for future reference to not move so quickly in a relationship talking about marriage and what not.

Lloyd95 · #3 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MastaPDiddy

now what?

Buy a new phone?

Rosebud · #4 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 02:53 AM

Well 3 months isn't that much time not to shoot you down, but it isn't. There's still a lot you don't know about her, and one of them includes her feelings of about her EX. She obviously has some feelings either coming back to her about him or ones she never got over. It was very good for her to tell you this, but I also think that's why she hasn't called you because she wasn't sure how to tell you and she was avoiding the situation. Does her Ex live closer to her right now? The only time one doubts anything about theri current relationship is when it is lacking for something they want or need. If she feels this strongly but still wants that closeness as opposed to an LDR then she may be thinking of going back to her ex. I don't want to say this is going happen to make you feel worse I just want to give you how she may be thinking and feeling. I don't know her so I can't say this is for sure.

All in all, you need to give her the space, make sure you tell her at least once that you care about her (don't overdue or you may push her right to him). You could send her flowers with a little card that says how much you care. but other than that I think you just ahve to giver her the space she needs to think. Unfortunately!

#5 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 03:06 AM

Aww man... I'm sorry :[

Like has been said all you can do is just give her time... and space. You don't need to help her make a decision by turning into an annoying/controlling/jealous/more annoying boyfriend who won't give his girl space when she wants it.

If it's meant to be, she'll make the right decision.

NeoSeminole · #6 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 03:35 AM

honestly, the best thing you can do for youreslf right now is learn not to get attatched to a girl right away. It will save you lots of pain in the future. 3 months is too sudden to be talking about marriage. I think you needed this experience to grow as a person.

Rosebud · #7 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 03:36 AM

Wow Neo... I even took that comment to heart!!! Good stuff!

MastaPDiddy · #8 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 03:38 AM

Yea good stuff.

But sometimes you can't help falling in love.

Its not love if you can control your feelings and seduce them into not getting deeper.

Lloyd95 · #9 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MastaPDiddy

But sometimes you can't help falling in love.

That's what Elvis said.

MastaPDiddy · #10 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 03:50 AM

God this is really getting to me. I keep trying to convince myself not to care and to do my freakin paper due tomorrow, but i cant concentrate on anything.

Rosebud · #11 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 03:52 AM

Elvis??? Speaking of which where is he today????

Masta, I know how hard this is for you and that you can't concentrate but you can't let all this stuff affect your goals in life. You have to maintain your self worth, and trust me if you try and work on that paper it will get your mind of it. Put all your energy into it and focus deeply on that to do a good job and you'll be fine.

Junsui · #12 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 04:13 AM

lol Lloyd.

Late_vamp · #13 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 05:41 AM

this is exactly what i dont want to experience , i already experienced the whole marriage and engagement thing that broke off , but never for an EX ... now that would piss me off 10 times more .

shh! · #14 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MastaPDiddy

Yea good stuff.

But sometimes you can't help falling in love.

Its not love if you can control your feelings and seduce them into not getting deeper.

You are confusing infatuation and love. Junsui and Neoseminole are right, you are moving too fast. You ought to look for Junsui's "How long does that euphoric feeling last" thread. It might serve as a reality check.

#15 (**permalink**) 02-12-05, 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

honestly, the best thing you can do for youreslf right now is learn not to get attatched to a girl right away. It will save you lots of pain in the future. 3 months is too sudden to be talking about marriage. I think you needed this experience to grow as a person.

I agree with this 100%.

And Masta - all you can do right now is play the worse possible game there is - the waiting game.

Give her space. Don't call her unless she tells you to call her at a specific time. Don't make it sound like your life is COMPLETELY OVER without her. You have to be cool about this.