Girls and their guy friends.

[Uniden]

Well, this girl I've been seeing over the past couple of months has really close guy friends she's hung out with over the past four years. The thing is, they are pretty flirty with eachother. One day this week, one of the guy friends asked her if she had any feelings for him, and she said no. And he said he didn't either. She straight up told me this, and I really believe that she doesn't like him. I'm just not sure if he does. That doesn't really matter, though.

Anyways, I've been trying to not get jealous when they get all touchy by when they are pushing eachother jokingly, etc., and I haven't been getting jealous that much(just a tiny bit, but not enough for me to really care, just like 'damn, I want her attention'), but I was just wondering if this was normal.

What do you guys think about this situation?

[RSK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uniden

Well, this girl I've been seeing over the past couple of months has really close guy friends she's hung out with over the past four years. The thing is, they are pretty flirty with eachother. One day this week, one of the guy friends asked her if she had any feelings for him, and she said no. And he said he didn't either. She straight up told me this, and I really believe that she doesn't like him. I'm just not sure if he does. That doesn't really matter, though.

Anyways, I've been trying to not get jealous when they get all touchy by when they are pushing eachother jokingly, etc., and I haven't been getting jealous that much(just a tiny bit, but not enough for me to really care, just like 'damn, I want her attention'), but I was just wondering if this was normal.

What do you guys think about this situation?

Your girlfriends friend probably wants what he can never have.

I wouldn't get jelous - seems like they are friends.

I mean, if it gets a little too touchy, then that's something to worry about.

But mean, pushing around? That's not crossing the line. I mean, if I had a girlfriend jelous because I was pushing a friend of mine around in a friendly way, then that would be quite over the top on my girlfriends part.

What's your friendship like with the dude?

[Hugo Pickle]

I think you need to play hard to get with this girl right now. I think you need to go out on a date with another woman like tomorrow if you can do it. Firstly realize that I say this because you say that you are “seeing” this girl which to me means that you have just only dated once or twice.

You know damn well that these other guys would take her in a New York minuet (which is a second by the way) if they had a chance but she isn’t interested in them because they are all generally lame. They all ready showed their hand and pussed out. They are not a challenge anymore. You do not want to be like them. It is good that you didn’t let it show that it bothered you. She should know that it does bother you though. She instinctively probably knows that but you have to make sure that she knows that you are a strong man who doesn’t want “his girl” hanging all over other guys. The problem with this is she probably does not see herself as “your girl.” That’s why not showing your ass (getting upset in public) about it was a good thing.

Here is how you let her know that it bugs you. You first date someone else for a full night and make sure that she knows about it. The best way to let her know about it is to tell her straight up that your gona go out with so in so on whatever night. She will get highly upset and probably make a big scene. You play it strong and cool and pull her close to you and say “hey look, she’s my friend and we are going out.” Do not get caught up in whatever big discussion that she wants to have about it, if she continues to go off on you and be an ass, just walk away and say, I’ll talk to you later.

Your date with so in so will probably suck, but do your best to actually have a good time. You should never exclusively date only once chick unless you are intimate with her. Why? Because you always need to be a challenge to them until they totally commit to only wanting to be with you.

A day or two later (she will probably not call you but wait for you to call her) call her up and act like nothing is wrong at all and just ask her how her day was. Have a regular talk and never bring up the other girl. If she asks you about it, just say that you had a good time, that’s it. No details. It’s none of her damn business anyway is it? Don’t let her hang up though without asking to go out with her again real soon.

Hot chicks will always have guys all over them, it is just nature man, and yes it will always bug you too. What you need is control. You have to use your brain and think about what you want, not what she wants. Sounds ass backwards I know, but look at it like this.

Women want a man who is the following.
A challenge
Exciting
A mystery
Sexy
And strong willed.

If you were all these things what would you do right now? (plays elevator music)
1. You would not talk about yourself too much
2. You would date other people even if it bugged them until they (not you) make it clear that they want only you.
3. You would work out, even if they had to just sit there and watch, or find something else to do, but hopefully plan your work out time so this doesn’t happen.
4. You would not put up with your girl flirting with other guys while dating you. (The catch is you can’t blow up about it either until it is completely understood that she is your girl)

The point is you have to think kind of selfish and what you want out of life, dating, and women. Strangely enough, they actually like their man to know what he wants, go after it, and not compromise. They just want to be the one that you want, go after, and not compromise about.

Good luck, go to askmen.com for advice about it from dr. love

[RSK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugo Pickle

I think you need to play hard to get with this girl right now. I think you need to go out on a date with another woman like tomorrow if you can do it. Firstly realize that I say this because you say that you are “seeing” this girl which to me means that you have just only dated once or twice.

You know damn well that these other guys would take her in a New York minuet (which is a second by the way) if they had a chance but she isn’t interested in them because they are all generally lame. They all ready showed their hand and pussed out. They are not a challenge anymore. You do not want to be like them. It is good that you didn’t let it show that it bothered you. She should know that it does bother you though. She instinctively probably knows that but you have to make sure that she knows that you are a strong man who doesn’t want “his girl” hanging all over other guys. The problem with this is she probably does not see herself as “your girl.” That’s why not showing your ass (getting upset in public) about it was a good thing.

Here is how you let her know that it bugs you. You first date someone else for a full night and make sure that she knows about it. The best way to let her know about it is to tell her straight up that your gona go out with so in so on whatever night. She will get highly upset and probably make a big scene. You play it strong and cool and pull her close to you and say “hey look, she’s my friend and we are going out.” Do not get caught up in whatever big discussion that she wants to have about it, if she continues to go off on you and be an ass, just walk away and say, I’ll talk to you later.

Your date with so in so will probably suck, but do your best to actually have a good time. You should never exclusively date only once chick unless you are intimate with her. Why? Because you always need to be a challenge to them until they totally commit to only wanting to be with you.

A day or two later (she will probably not call you but wait for you to call her) call her up and act like nothing is wrong at all and just ask her how her day was. Have a regular talk and never bring up the other girl. If she asks you about it, just say that you had a good time, that’s it. No details. It’s none of her damn business anyway is it? Don’t let her hang up though without asking to go out with her again real soon.

Hot chicks will always have guys all over them, it is just nature man, and yes it will always bug you too. What you need is control. You have to use your brain and think about what you want, not what she wants. Sounds ass backwards I know, but look at it like this.

Women want a man who is the following.
A challenge
Exciting
A mystery
Sexy
And strong willed.

If you were all these things what would you do right now? (plays elevator music)
1. You would not talk about yourself too much
2. You would date other people even if it bugged them until they (not you) make it clear that they want only you.
3. You would work out, even if they had to just sit there and watch, or find something else to do, but hopefully plan your work out time so this doesn’t happen.
4. You would not put up with your girl flirting with other guys while dating you. (The catch is you can’t blow up about it either until it is completely understood that she is your girl)

The point is you have to think kind of selfish and what you want out of life dating and women. Strangely enough they actually like their man to know what he wants, go after it, and not compromise. They just want to be the one that you want, go after, and not compromise about it.

Good luck, go to askmen.com for advice about it from dr. love

or you can do this

[Junsui]

I'm like that with my guy friends. So, I don't see it as being weird. My bf doesn't care about it, he knows I'm with him and the other guys are just my friends.

You're around 18 years old, right? So, I assume your GF is also around that age. She probably is aware that her male friend likes her (think, as a male, would YOU act as he does around a girl you DIDN'T like?) but isn't taking it too seriously. Yet. She probably just likes the attention. Watch out, tho, sometimes that flirting can lead to stronger interest and is a common, ages old tactic used by young men to "get in under the radar" of the ingenue. Take action, as suggested above. The "askmen.com" site is surprisingly on the ball in these matters, IMO.

[Rosebud]

I don't think you should play any games with her or play hard to get or whatever. Some girls are just close with their guy friends. I know I am, but my bf is also comfortable with that. But I also agree with Indigo too depending on how old she is, she could be using that for attention purposes and things may go further. That makes a lot of sense since she told you about what they said to one another she again, was lookign for attention.. So I'd just be careful but try not to get too jealous unless you see things going further.

[mini696]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

I don't think you should play any games with her or play hard to get or whatever.

100% true. Leave the games for children.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

Some girls are just close with their guy friends.

Yep, and even though men are rarly affectionate with women unless they want something, a smart girl is aware of this. There are exceptions though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

But I also agree with Indigo too depending on how old she is, she could be using that for attention purposes and things may go further. That makes a lot of sense since she told you about what they said to one another she again, was lookign for attention.

Women are attention seeking creatures. And to feel wanted by other people is just human nature. I wouldn't worry about this too much, because if you do it will push them to ***** about you behind your back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

So I'd just be careful but try not to get too jealous unless you see things going further.

Showing signs of jealousy is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship... Your partner will do what she pleases and you cant really stop her. Voice your fears, but act as if it doesnt worry you when she does these things.

My ex is very affectionate towards her friends, and the only time I said anything was when she overstepped boundries I believed shouldn't be. Example; We went to a concert with one of our friends, she was giving him a hug and dancing provocativly with him, she kissed him on the lips (I dont care if it is on the cheek). So I said that it was unacceptable for her to do that (the dancing, and kissing on the lips), she apologised.

[Bluevetteracer]

When I was in that situation, I would just flirt and find 3-4 women that I could hang on, be with, or flirt with.

It takes about a nano-second for the girl to get all bent out of shape.

Then I am like - "What, I thought our friends were important"? (Acting surprised and playing dumb)

[cheazypeaz]

i always thought the same, then i realised that i did exactly the same, without noticing! because when you do it you dont think anything of it, and if she dosent say anything how do you even 'regard it' as making her jelous !

think about that one

[whaywardj]

From tiny acorns, mighty oaks do sometimes grow.

(Cryptic, isn't he?)

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheazypeaz

i always thought the same, then i realised that i did exactly the same, without noticing! because when you do it you dont think anything of it, and if she dosent say anything how do you even 'regard it' as making her jelous !

think about that one

It is true - then you catch yourself and feel like a jerk.

But to answer the original question - it is VERY normal to feel that way. Just don't let it eat at you and don't let your insecurities / paranoia destroy your relationship.

It's hard for us to watch our S/O be flirty with other people, makes us feel uneasy / uncomfortable but you just HAVE to tell yourself "Hey she's goin home with me" and that's what really matters.

[Junsui]

Unless she sometimes goes home with them too.

Well at least then HER and her cheating would be the reason the relationship didn't work out instead of his insecurities and constant paranoia.

LoL

[Junsui]

That's true!